What should I do? (re: guy)

  1. I'm looking for some yes or no advice. I met a guy last weekend at an event and he gave me his card and told me to make sure I sent him my contact info. He was definitely hitting on me, no question about it. I was also definitely attracted to him. He stayed much longer than he needed to and talked to me the entire time. Well, I emailed him the next day and basically said hello and gave him my info. He emailed back two days later and apologized for the delay in responding and said that his blackberry and emails had been down. He asked if I would like to go out for a drink sometime. I responded and said yes. He responded back and said he was super busy the next few days with work and would email me on Friday and we would pick a date.

    Well, Friday came and went and I didn't hear from him. I haven't tried contacting him again, and that is my question. Should I?? Should I just send him a short email saying Hi and tell him to let me know if he still wants to get together? OR will this potentially make me look desperate? Or just make me look like I am very interested?

    Let me also add that this guy has a very high profile/important job. I know he's VERY busy and does a lot of entertaining in the evenings.

    So what should I do? Wait a few more days? Or send the email? I'm such a dummy and can't help but think maybe he lost my email and it got deleted or something, LOL. Or is it very bad that he didn't email when he said he would, and I should just let the whole thing go?

    I can't believe I'm actually stressing this. :rolleyes:
  2. Don't stress it, let it go. People, both men and women, do this kind of thing all the time, and there is just no gracious way to retreat, or at least few people know how or bother, so they say they are busy and I'll call you, we'll get together some time.

    Think of how we do this even outside of the dating arena, when we run into old co-workers, neighbors, etc, and say how you guys should come over for dinner, blah blah, when we really have no intention of inviting them over for dinner, and frequently we really are very busy, too busy to have company for dinner, especially company that we really don't know all that well, after all, maybe they had a cubicle next to us for a while several years ago, you get the picture.

    And you have probably done the same thing with boys, given your number to several, and not even noticed whether they called you or not, and maybe one did, but by that time you were busy with other things, not really thinking too much about who all you talked to at a party, even though he might have been cute and fun to talk to, and so he might call you, and you might tell him you are really really busy but will get back to him...
  3. Well I'm a bit rusty when it comes to dating but IMHO I don't think you should contact him just yet. You should give him a week to get bck to you. Esoecially if he is really busy, something may have come up. Guys are so funny KWIM?

    OK. I just asked my fiance and he agrees you should wait a little bit.

    He sounds like an interesting guy. Good luck!
  4. Good point, Shimma. BUT, I really got the impression that he was genuinel interested in me. Even the organizers of the event commented on it to me later, that the "executives" wanted to stay in touch with me. LOL. Plus, he was the one that asked me out. I defintely didn't feel like he was just trying to be "nice."
  5. I'd wait until this wednesday or so then drop him a quick email with something along the lines of "there's a fabulous gallery opening this friday night at suchandsuch place at 8, care to join me there for a drink and some culture? (insert event or chic place in your town here)" or something like that. If you still get no response, write him off and move on.
  6. Oh, no, I didn't meant that he was not, is not, genuinely attracted to you, what I mean by retreat is that after the party, when he returns to his normal life, which at this point has a lot of unknown factors, some of which may legitimately preclude his doing much about a woman he met at a party and was very attracted to, at least any time soon, and we have not even begun to speculate on what all might be going on in his personal life - stuff that predates the party - and rather than tell you his life story, he just does what most people do, which is say we are really busy for the next few days.

    And I'm not saying you will never hear from him again. In fact, you probably will, and you will at that time have a chance to get to know him a little better and decide whether you want to see him again, or if you are going to be really busy for a really long time. ;)

    All I am saying is just let it go, don't stress about it, if he calls you, agree to something like a weekday lunch so you can give yourself an easy escape if it turns out he is nothing but a charming party guest!

    And if he doesn't call you, then it's his loss, and somebody better will!

    Edit to add that neither am I suggesting that he should not have a fair shake. If you don't hear from him in a few days, by all means, call him, email him, see if he'd like to go to lunch, but what I am saying is while all this is going on, don't stress about it. You do not yet know whether he is stress-worthy.
  7. Thanks girls! I understand what you mean now, Shimma. I would imagine with someone like him that I'm sure there is a lot going on in his life. But, I can't help but be bummed that I haven't heard from him yet, esp. since I really thought he was very interested in me. :sad:
  8. I'd do this exact same thing if it were me. And good luck! Can't wait to hear how it goes! I'm living vicariously. Gosh, I miss being single!! LOL :nuts:
  9. Well I am a guy so I'll give you my perspective, I wouldn't contact him just yet. I haven't ever been in a serious relationship before (hey I'm almost 18 I'm young, and the thought of monogamy scares me lol) but i would imagine that any guy that was really serious would rely asap. that being said he could really be busy, i know that I'm the lazy type and I only get a move on for work (and i imagine i would for a relationship too.) everything else I don't really put much effort in to call people its really tedious and annoying. Not that he would place you on a list like that but maybe he genuinely forgot to was blow over with work. This doesn't mean he is any less interested in you!

    So i would give him the benefit of the doubt, give him another week and then give him another 'hey, how you going' email. Don't bring up the fact that he forgot to email you, if he is serious he would already feel bad, and he will probably apologies in his reply email to you anyway.

    I don't want to give you wrong advice or make you feel any worse, but men who really want a girl call on the day they arranged to. And if there isn't a prescribed date we go through the whole 'is it too early? to call' debate too. (that is most of the guys with half a brain, there are the meatheads out their that dont give sh*t)
  10. I know it's hard to wait to hear from someone when you are interested (it wasn't that long ago that I was single in the city) But I would say wait! You are making your first impression (or second) on him right now and he said he would get in touch and if he is interested he will.

    It is my experience that if a man is interested in a woman there is not much that will stop him from getting in touch. It really sounds like he is busy with his job, so as hard as it is try to hold out for him to make the first move! It could be that his work schedule is so busy right now and he is waiting to get in touch until he is sure of a time he will be free to take you out.

    Good luck and keep us posted!:smile:
  11. Both my fiance and I say to wait for him to email you. The last thing you need is to look desperate.

    My fiance told me that one of the things he liked about me was that I NEVER called him (when we first started seeing eachother). He liked the fact that I wasn't to clingy.

    Wait it out. If he likes you, he'll contact you.
  12. :yes::yes::yes:
    I agree with everyone! Wait several days and if you don't hear from him, send him a quick 'How's it going' email. He may be the type that is bad at getting back to people. Hang in there and let us know how it goes!
  13. although I like the gallery email idea, it seems in our head that this is just a friendly invite but it may give me a totally different impression - note I said MAY. you never know. but since you don't know I would go with the hunter approach - let him hunt you down. it may be exactly what he finds interesting, kwim? (if you would like this to go above a date/fling situation).

    btw, do you know anything about his private life situation?
  14. This is another reason I am such an ardent advocate of the weekday lunch.

    It is hard to give much of an impression one way or the other when what you are inviting someone to do involves a pastrami sandwich at noon on Thursday.

    And there is also the fact that while she may have been impressed by what she saw at the party, she doesn't really know whether she would want to "date" him at this point.

    She could get him to the deli only to cower in shame as he asks for mayonnaise on his pastrami...
  15. My mom basically beat this into me growing up! lol...

    "A good girl does NOT ever call boys..." she'd say.

    Sure made my life hell waiting on guys but I've never regretted it. I'd much rather a relationship fail because I was the mysterious, frosty type than being clingy and needy. LOL... if it isn't meant to be, it fails either way.