What do you consider cheating?

#61
My boyfriend and I had an arugement about this! He gsts mad when I spend too much time with my best male friend, but we've known each other for 6 years! He has a bunch of female friends that he barely knows but talks with just as much as I do with my best friend.

I say if you do something that you wouldn't in the presence of your s/o, that's cheating. Also, talking, even a little flirtation is alright, but pursuing an intimate relationship with another person is cheating.

I think emotional cheating is much worse than just physically cheating! My boyfriend did this to me when we first started going out, he said it was because we weren't really "together" yet, what a load of bs. After that, I ended up cheating also (totally regret it. lemme tell ya, the grass only LOOKS greener on the other side)...and we took a step back and thought about our relationship. And now we're as happy as ever :]
 
#62
Vlad, I am so glad you started this thread. My BF and I had a serious talk (over the phone, he's 3 hours away) last night and your thread did make me realize that I was starting to have an emotional affair with a co-worker friend of ours. I couldn't talk about certain things with him cause he never wants to talk about it and I found that in other people, one in particular. BF said he'd still rather me talk to him about it than with another guy. Your thread made me think and realize that I've been cheating on him emotionally. I didn't realize that until now. And it stops today. Period.
 
#63
puddinhd58 said:
Say it does happen. Just once....:cry:
What did it mean to him? Anything? Everything? Nothing?
It could be any one of the three.

Is he a good husband? Father? Provider?

Is your life and the lives of your children better with him or without?
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I don't disagree with what you said, puddinhd58, not at all. I just think that the fact a husband/father has taken that step to cheat, he has already decided to give up his marriage and family. He knew what's at stake before cheating, he knew what it means and the possible consequences and he still made that step. It might not be a concious decision, but as an adult, we know there is responsibility on every step we take.
 
#64
i know this isn't technically cheating but i feel like my boyfriend is cheating when he has his cute little female friend sitting on his lap while touching tv and they're being all touchy-feeling with each other.........i guess i'd considerany type of romantic touching/kissing cheating but i can't help feelin glike the sitting on someone else's boyfriend's lap is getting kinda close and completely inappropriate
 
#65
jc2239 said:
i know this isn't technically cheating but i feel like my boyfriend is cheating when he has his cute little female friend sitting on his lap while touching tv and they're being all touchy-feeling with each other.........i guess i'd considerany type of romantic touching/kissing cheating but i can't help feelin glike the sitting on someone else's boyfriend's lap is getting kinda close and completely inappropriate
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i absolutely agree with you. she has no business sitting on his lap.
 
#66
jc2239 said:
i know this isn't technically cheating but i feel like my boyfriend is cheating when he has his cute little female friend sitting on his lap while touching tv and they're being all touchy-feeling with each other.........i guess i'd considerany type of romantic touching/kissing cheating but i can't help feelin glike the sitting on someone else's boyfriend's lap is getting kinda close and completely inappropriate
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I agree. That is totally inappropriate! And did this girl know your man is taken?! What a alksjflasfjlf!!!
 
#67
jc2239 said:
i know this isn't technically cheating but i feel like my boyfriend is cheating when he has his cute little female friend sitting on his lap while touching tv and they're being all touchy-feeling with each other.........i guess i'd considerany type of romantic touching/kissing cheating but i can't help feelin glike the sitting on someone else's boyfriend's lap is getting kinda close and completely inappropriate
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My former best friend in HS used to go shopping, watch movies, and even sit on my then bf's lap while I was away for college. They do everything practically except for kissing and having sex. She even have his phone # on speed dial and her excuse was "I feel closer to you when I'm closer to your bf..." :blink: Anyway, that's why she's now my FORMER best friend. What your bf's little female friend is doing is totally unacceptable. You should go up to her next time and slap her silly. I mean if she can sit on his lap with you in her sight, she doesn't have any respect for you in her eyes nor does she view you as your bf's gf. And your bf just assume he can get away with this kind of behavior.
 
#68
my boyfriend's excuse is always...."dont' want her to sit on the floor"......i hate being jealous tho so try to think nothing of it........

Irissy i know what u mean about the speed dial thing.....she calls him at like 3 AM with her "emotional problems" and e-mails him constantly.....i think she chooses to disregard the fact that he has a girlfriend (plus doesn't really like me....i'm a little on the shy/scared of strangers side which she takes the wrong way to imply that i'm *****y/think i'm better than everyone else which means she calls me the ice queen)........and you were totally right to drop her as a best friend.......evil evil girl.....

i've been with my boyfriend on and off forever and it's stll a major point of contention between us that i don't get along with this friends (who're all female).....i wonder why i don't get along with them :weird:
 
#69
jc2239 said:
i know this isn't technically cheating but i feel like my boyfriend is cheating when he has his cute little female friend sitting on his lap while touching tv and they're being all touchy-feeling with each other.........i guess i'd considerany type of romantic touching/kissing cheating but i can't help feelin glike the sitting on someone else's boyfriend's lap is getting kinda close and completely inappropriate
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You accept this kind of behaviour from both your bf and his dear little friend? It is utterly inappropriate. You should tell them how you feel, that they make you uncomfortable. And don't start behaving like that girl and start sitting on someone's bf's laps, for your own sake. Don't get so low like them. If he is such a gentleman, he would be sitting on the floor and giving his friend his seat, or ask you to sit on him and give your seat to his friend. They are both disrespectful to you.

Wait a sec, if I remember correctly, didn't you break up with him before Vday?
 
#70
it's usually when i'm not there........i don't think she's as comfortable coming onto my boyfriend when i'm standing right there.....i've just given up disputing this stuff with him cuz we fought so much about his friends and i'm just sick of having the same fights with him over and over again......besides the girl finally moved in with her boyfriend (being all of like 19 and having cheated on him like 9 times) so she's less of a threat to me
 
#71
KK said:
Wait a sec, if I remember correctly, didn't you break up with him before Vday?
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we broke up.....then kinda reconciled a week later.....and i mean things still kinda suck but he's kinda trying.....i dunno :worried:

he makes me so angry/unhappy like 6/7 days but then there're those days he makes me soso happy and treats me like a princess.....hard to let go i guess

btw i hope everyone doesn't think i'm completely dysfunctional and a drama queen :sad: .....i'm really completely level headed and normal....it's just this guy makes me crazy
 
#72
No one thinks that you are dysfunctional or a drama queen!!! I really hope that you and your bf can work out your differences and that everything comes up nice for you!:P

And i can totally understand that you don't approve your bf's friend sitting on his lap!!!!:Push:
 
#73
wow, this thread is heavy...I agree, anything you can't do with your partner there is some form of cheating, and going to someone else for something you should go to your partner for is another form of cheating.
I am young, have no kids, and am at the point in my life where if anyone cheated on me, it would be the end. But forgiveness is an extremely extremely important part of life so I would have to forgive him (that doesn't mean you stay in the relationship, not neccessarily).
But I also have seen marriages healed after an affair, and relationships go on even stronger than before. It depends on the people involved and how willing they are to make their relationship work out. Love is not an easy thing, and fidelity is harder still. It's worth it though.
 
#74
jc2239 said:
i know this isn't technically cheating but i feel like my boyfriend is cheating when he has his cute little female friend sitting on his lap while touching tv and they're being all touchy-feeling with each other.........i guess i'd considerany type of romantic touching/kissing cheating but i can't help feelin glike the sitting on someone else's boyfriend's lap is getting kinda close and completely inappropriate
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What?! I hate to sound all Jerry Springer here, but his ass would be grass :evil: That's blatant lack of disrespect for you, and you really shouldn't tolerate it. You're saying you don't want to be jealous, but you are - goes to show right there that it bothers you. It would bother me, too. Hell, it would probably bother anyone in a relationship to see their partner acting like that with someone else.

I read that you reconciled with him, jc, but I am going to be honest here :shame: Things might be all right for now, but I hope you find someone who will respect you more and treat you better - you deserve to have that.

I just hate seeing smart, beautiful women in a relationship with the wrong guy. My cousin has been with this awful, disrespectful jerk for two years, and it's put a strain on our relationship, because I know she can do better.

Sorry, done with ranting! :shame:
 
#75
jc2239 said:
my boyfriend's excuse is always...."dont' want her to sit on the floor"......i hate being jealous tho so try to think nothing of it........

Irissy i know what u mean about the speed dial thing.....she calls him at like 3 AM with her "emotional problems" and e-mails him constantly.....i think she chooses to disregard the fact that he has a girlfriend (plus doesn't really like me....i'm a little on the shy/scared of strangers side which she takes the wrong way to imply that i'm *****y/think i'm better than everyone else which means she calls me the ice queen)........and you were totally right to drop her as a best friend.......evil evil girl.....

i've been with my boyfriend on and off forever and it's stll a major point of contention between us that i don't get along with this friends (who're all female).....i wonder why i don't get along with them :weird:
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Come on JC! You can't be shy and scared when you're a soon-to-be-ivy-league-grad-lawyer. Start flexing that law muscle of yours! :amazed: My ex bf (the one who allowed girls to sit on his lap) had 14 god-sisters when I was with him and 1/2 of them, gangster-wannabes, hated me. One even threatened to kick my ass since I accidentally bumped into her in the hallway. I never understand the whole god-sibling thing and I look to it as an excuse to get away with murder. Anyway, I dropped both the bf and the best friend and move on to better and important things in life. I'm not saying to drop your guy but maybe you should make a stand and show that you don't tolerate this kind of behavior. You deserve respect from the man you love and I hope things will work out for you. If not, there's always tons of lovely guys out there who wouldn't mind snatching a smart girl like ya. ;)
 
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