Very sad, life falling apart, suggestions?

  1. hi............i guess i just wanted to take advantage of this general discussion because i am sitting up late crying, alone, and not knowing what to do. you all seem like such nice ladies as i have gotten to know you from the forum. the thread about careers got me to ask this.

    i am in my 40's and just found out that its pretty certain that my husband is cheating on me. i have been a homemaker for 24 years. i have just 2 yrs. of college in nursing from 25 yrs ago. i am completely panicked, i dont have any career to fall back on if things are going to fall apart.

    I dont know what my next move should be. i am frozen in grief. how would one begin to find a job at my age? and honestly, i think i would rather crawl away than to work at a job i hate. one time i had thought of becoming a make-up artist because i am the creative type, but then i was told you just work in dept stores and i have seen my daughter destroyed by that career.

    i live in So. CA. open to ideas. feeling completely lost. heartbroken, giselle:sad:
  2. oh giselle.. a big group hug goes out to you. and goodness what are you doing up this late anyway. what am I doing up. anyways.

    my sister is in her mid 30's and is thinking of doing a career change in her life. she has 2 kids and a good for nothing husband, but she's managed to put some time aside to take some classes for notaries, real estate license and other stuff to see what she likes. perhaps you can do the same at some community college? find something you like and pursue it. it's never too late to go back to school to change your career.

    when i was in design school for interior design, my classes were very evenly split with people under 25's and over 35's.. some even over 45's as a change of pace and they wanted a new direction in life. true you would be starting at the bottom of the chain, but you would be doing something you'd enjoy instead.

    best of luck and wishes to you.
  3. hold Question: WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO DO? what are you truelly passionate about, what can you wake up every morning and go to sleep every night content and happy about what you have achieved?

    thesedays everyone switches careers (regardless if there is a falling out with ur husband) have a go! do something new and venture out, and dont be afraid! i know its hard and i know your will power and mental capacity and relationships are bieng tested but think positive (it always helps) and be sure to know we all here have your back! good luck
  4. hi frozen and naughty.............thanks for the hug and encouragement. i think i am just in shock. i am truly exhausted and need to go to bed, but i get anxiety really bad at night.

    if i could think of a way to train in and do make-up in a non-department store setting, i might like that. i keep hearing that you have to get an esthetician license first, and right now, that sounds overwhelming. i am the creative type, but i dont know where to direct it?

    i just dont know yet. but i want to thank you sweet ladies for the kind words. i guess i will sleep on it and come back to the forum tomorrow. thanks again. giselle
  5. giselle, I am sorry this is happening to you. You are not alone, my thoughts are with you. I wish for this to be all a big misunderstanding. No matter what, you will be okay...

    p.s.A great industry to get into at any age with no formal education especially in CA is Mortgage Loans.

  6. hello Giselle,

    breathe deeply...ok, now, you are 40 which is a great age...I am about to be there myself=)...

    This is a wake up call, that is all...I found a while, back, that relying on other people to take care of you completly, is a scarry place to be...things happen...even if someone plans to love you and care for you for the rest of your life...this can dear friend was widowed at 35...

    So, first off, you don't seem completly sure that he is cheating on you...could it be that you are mistaken?

    Even if not, it is a good idea to find your own security, as soon as possible....

    but, could you be wrong about your suspicions?
  7. Oh, just missed you. Try and get some sleep and I hope tomorrow is better, giselle.
  8. My friend bought the book "smart women finish rich" and it helped her get her life back and is pretty darned impressive!
  9. I'm so sorry to hear about this, Giselle. Just last week a good friend of mine discovered that her husband has been cheating on her with the nanny!! For the last 18 months!! Last month my dance teacher told me that her husband moved out after confessing to a 3-year-long affair with an intern. It's so heartbreaking, and they both have very young children.

    I hope you will pull yourself together and understand that THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!! *big hug* If you now need to support yourself, you can see it as an opportunity to finally do what you would have done all these years, yes, its not too late to do makeup if that's your passion.
  10. Giselle, you are absolutly right to reach out...I hope to be here when you get back on line, because I KNOW you can be an inspiration to other women as you find your way through this! You are going to be great! I just know it...

    It is really hard, but, you are going to get through this!
  11. no falling in holes! holes are meant for varmits not strong women like us PF girls!
  12. I'm sooo sorry that this happened to you and I can totally understand that your are paralized in shock. May be you might want to see a counseller who can help you through this dark time and figure out which career you want to do. When I had severe health problems I did see a psychologists once a week. She helped me to deal with my illness, the pain and the constant change of my life. I went there for 18 months and it helped me a lot. I found a job and accepted the changes in my life. Big hugs for you!!!
  13. ***Hugs*** Giselle, sorry you have to go thru something like this.
    As for a career, just thought I would throw this out there if you have 2 years of nursing, why not think about ultrasound. If you can do all facets of ultrasound you can make decent $.
  14. As Ivana Trump said "Don't get mad, get everything!" Which means start making a plan. Get your support system in action and start doing things like excersise to keep the mind healthy and wear you out so you can sleep and avoid the late night stress. Look into any beauty classes or hair, just to get you on the road to finding what you want, and surround you with the fun people and a mental challenge. Baby steps!!! I am so sorry to hear about the upset, but it has happened to most of us, so we are here anytime. Take care, it will get better.
  15. The most important thing you can do it KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT and dont let him know you know. If you are relatively well off you will be able to get alimony that will help you. Go to the book store and get books on divorce. GO and get the BEST lawyer you can. The more planning you can do the better off you will be. Smile and suck it up. You can spend a year making plans for yourself and be comfortable for the rest of your life, or you can jump accuse him and struggle the rest of your life. If you tip your hat to him all bets are off. You have the ball in your court right now. There are a great many books on how to get ahead in a divorce. You need to be ruthless, just as ruthless as he is cheating on you and your family. Its a horrible situation but now is not the time to be sad and depressed. I have seen so many of my friends let this totally drag them down and they do not protect themselves. If you get divorced he will still have his earning potential just like he does not, were will you be. I cannot stress to you enough plan plan plan. Also if you go and talk to the best divorce lawyers in your area just for a consultation he will not be able to use those lawyers do due conflict of interest. Most of these lawyers will meet with you for a consultation for no charge. Best of luck to you.