Update on me

  1. Hi Ladies! :balloon: Just wanted to say hello... haven't been around too much, and I think I'm still a bit in denial that we're TTC.

    The past 2 cycles I've started the ovulation tests and have never had a positive. The first month (I use the term "month" very loosely since my cycles are longer than a month) I was too lazy and gave up after a few tests of negatives.

    The second month I was diligent in using up all 10 tests in a box (since we were on vacation and I didn't have any distractions), but still, all negative. AF came a few days after our trip and, counting back 12 days, realized that I probably ovulated the day before we left for our trip. I laugh when I think that I'm so irregular that I can't even guess my ovulation date within a 10 day window! :p

    I started testing again 2 days ago, and that was kick-started not by my own motivation, but because my SIL gave me her extra tests (she's due in 2 weeks!). As a side note, I just startd another post about a faint 2nd line for these tests...)

    Sometimes I think I'm being lazy about testing because I'm afraid to face any difficulties that might come up when TTC. In my head, I'm probably protecting myself emotionally by never really giving this a good shot - because, what if we gave it our all, and it still wasn't good enough to make it happen? On top of that, I'm pretty sure DH and our sex drives aren't all that healthy... and that worries me, too. :sad:

    Sometimes I wish I was diagnosed with a 'condition' so I can use that as my excuse as to why we can't conceive... and that would be a clear 'go-ahead' so we can start the adoption process (or something).

    I think I'm totally pysching myself out about this and prematurely anticipating issues. I think I have a mental block. Not sure what to do! Maybe venting will help! Thanks for reading...

    P.S. If you can't tell already, I'm super emotional right now - maybe AF is on it's way. How ironic would that be?

    P.P.S. Is there a central location where the acryonyms used for the topic of TTC are listed? I figured out AF (aunt flow) and HPT (home pregnancy test), but that's about it... thank you!
  2. Wow Mangowife, thank you for posting that. I can definitely relate to a lot of the things you mentioned.
  3. Mangowife- hmm... sounds like you are conflicted on whether or not you want to be pregnant? As far as the unusually long periods, it could be something, or it could be nothing, but the only way you are going to find out is if you chart. Recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility for help on charting. But, if you don't want to chart and would rather just let it happen, then do that. No pressure, no stress.

    I sympathize with you on the sex drive part. I have always felt like the DH and weren't active enough (or as much as our friends) and have always been insecure about it, worrying that it meant that our relationship wasn't as good as everyone elses, but we are both "satisfied" and very happy in our relationship, so I no longer equate the amount of sex with the quality of our relationship (not implying that you do, just thought you might want to hear from someone else who doesn't BD ("bed down" or "baby dance") as frequently.

    BUT.. you do have to get the timing right when you do BD, so even if you are only going at it 1 or 2 a month, that will help your chances...

    As for psyching yourslef out... you totally are.. I understand not wawnting to be dissappointed, but the laws of attraction would say if you think bad things are going to happen to you, then they are... I started worrying that it wouldn't happen for me before we started trying. I kept telling DH, we got do this thing 'cause there are people out there that have trouble getting pregnant and that could be me!! Well, wouldn't you kinow it.. that is what I focused on and this is where I am in 8 month, not pregnant. But at the same time, I am greatful for the community we've created right here in the TTC subforum.

    Cheer up :p We are here to support you! And if you don't want to cheer up, that is ok too. Vent away!!!
  4. I can totally understand and appreciate about the sex drive part. DH and I aren't exactly doing it like the rabbits. But like tabbyco, we are equally happy in our relationship. We love to hug, kiss, touch and be close physically (holding hands, sitting close by with legs touching etc) Sorry if too mushy. Sometimes I think society placed too much emphasis on the sex part. Bottom line is every couple is different. And we should find the comfort zone in the relationship. And if both of you are happy, that's the most important.

    And I've heard of many couples who do it just to conceive only.