To Parents Of Pets

  1. A friend sent this to me and I thought it was hilarious and SO true!! [​IMG]

    Dear Dogs and Cats,

    The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
    becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.

    Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when
    they sleep.

    It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
    If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.
    Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --
    canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

    The proper order is: kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

    To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

    Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:

    1. They live here. You don't.

    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
    (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

    3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.

    4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is a son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Dogs and cats are better than kids ... they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hand out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college [​IMG]
     

  2. Wahoo!!! LOVE it!!!!:yahoo::tup:
     
  3. I've seen this before and love it. Especially about the king size bed.
     
  4. :roflmfao: SO TRUE!

    Thanks for posting this!
     
  5. i know right! we have a king and it is WAY to small for us and our brood (4 dogs and 2 cats :roflmfao:) who MUST sleep crossways between dh and i! lol
     
  6. That is the greatest thing I've ever read its so true.... every single word!!!!!!
     
  7. omg that had me giggling. thanks for posting :smile:
     
  8. I LOVE IT!!! That's my life in a nutshell!! haha
     
  9. My 7-pound dog can take up a whole king sized bed! I can get up to go to the bathroom and come back and find her stretched out right in the middle of the spot I was in.