this may sound bad...but need help

  1. ok this is about boyfriend issues

    this all started a while ago i was at my bfs house and i noticed a pic of a girl on his dresser and i asked him about it he said oh i guess my mom put it there i dont talk to her anymore i used to talk to her in a chat room then he threw out the pic i believed him

    now right around the holidays he was on my comp and he left to go home and he was still signed in to myspace when i snooped around his myspace page

    I KNOW I WAS WRONG FOR DOING THIS BUT I COULDNT HELP IT

    but there was a message from the girl in his inbox it was a pic of her in a slutty mrs. claus outfit and he responded thanks for the pic my holiday is complete now
    i was so upset:crybaby: so i decided.....NOW I KNOW I AM WRONG AGAIN
    i deleted her and some few random people(so it didnt seem odd) off his profile cuz i wanted to see if he would add her again

    AND HE DID
    SO THEY DEF TALK
    i figured i should not worry about it cuz her profile says she is from virgina but you can always lie about that:sad:

    so i have no clue what to do my boyfriend seems kinda distant latly and i worry that he may me cheating becuause he doent work now and he has all day to do nothing
     
  2. He has all day to do something...and it is not good!

    Um...I would have done the same thing and snooped around...just because my ex-boyfriend cheated on me and it hurt so much that, if there were EVER any signals or red-flags (like you noticing the pic on his dresser) I would see that as a green light to snoop. So IMO, do not feel bad for snooping!

    You should really talk to him and ask him what's going with your relationship. Is he committed to you? Is he going through a rough time emotionally?

    Try to figure out what's going on somehow. Don't let it go and pretend everything is OK...I did and I will never do that again. It's too painful and a waste of time to hold on to someone who wants to move on to someone else.
     
  3. it just sucks cuz i cant tell him what i know cuz of how i got the info
    i ask him if he loves me and he says yes i have even asked him if he has cheated and he said no i really dont know what to think :sad:
     
  4. imo- it would be a good time to say goodbye. this is telling u exactly what kind or person he is. can u trust him? completely? why r u trying to make things work out? why r u making excuses for him? and don't apologize for your actions. u had a gut feeling and u r right. no need to apologize for the truth. tell him the truth - don't be like him and lie. confront him.

    i could go on and on- but it i wont. be strong and deal with him. if u can..... and delaying the pain wont make it any easier.

    u r deserve a man who is honest and true! u will never be truly happy with someone who lies.... and if u forgive him over this one- ---- u will always wonder about the next one......

    move on princess.... he isn't worth it.
     
  5. girl, I know its hard... but do you really believe what he says after you have evidence saying otherwise??
    Ive been in relationships ranging from a couple of years to a few months,
    and one thing if any I learned from experience is if you're not happy with something you have to talk and try to fix it from the start instead of keeping quiet and letting the problem escalate.. trust me it is only harder to seperate later on when you did not speak up!! an unhappy relationship is unhealthy :sad:
    also... he left the comp signed in when he was apparently doing some naughty business behind your back? does he not care about you enough to at least be careful?
     
  6. I would have done the exact same thing that you did (snoop). Its really hard to say what you should do but for me, I would not take my guy lying about not talking to a girl when he does!
     
  7. Tell him what you saw and ask him what the deal is. (But preface it by apologizing for snooping through his things.)
     
  8. Tell him you had reason to suspect an online affair (the fishiness of the photo in his room...his mom put it there, yeah right!) and so you snooped, even though you felt weird about it. Then ask him point-blank what is going on with that girl.

    Online cheating is still cheating, in my book. If it were me, I woulda kicked him to the curb the moment I saw that sleazy pic of her in his online account!
     
  9. Sorry Princess, yes it sounds like an online affair.
    Why oh why so many men lie ???? But good for us, they are never really good liars.......so your BF was dumb enough to leave a photo.
    If it was your husband, or long term BF I would say confront him and see if you can forgive and trust again.
    -my BF of 10 years was flirting on the net at some point, but it was just normal conversations ,and our relationship was into some boring routine. As he is a very honest person and doesn´t seduce women usually, I just let it die by itself and it did....-
    But in your situation, you seem young and your BF is already playing double games, pushing it quite far with the photos.....well I would leave him, he can´t be trusted that´s for sure. I don´t think he will stop there....
    Good luck Princess, we are with you !
     
  10. I'm so sorry this happened......hope it all works out!
     
  11. listen to what your heart and your mind says. If you think that you have a good vibes that your guy is cheating on you.. Don't waste time! We women usually have good vibes! And besides, isn't it too obvious enough that there's something between the both of them?!
     
  12. Sorry to hear about your problem... hugs to you! TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. You snooped cuz you felt something is wrong. And sad to say, it does seem like something is going on and you have to get to the bottom of it. One advise thoug, don't confront him until you have enough evidence, even if it means more snooping!
     
  13. Hold on a sec....you hens calm down!! ;)
    I'm 100% commited and I love my gf, but I currently have a pic of an ex gf on my desk that I simply haven't gotten around to storing away (and I definitely wouldn't throw it out as she was part of my past). This same girl is also a friend of mine on Myspace, and yes, we talk from time to time. Granted, she hasn't sent me any provacative pics (recently that is!), but if she did...so what? Now, unless she was naked, this pic is probably something that she sent out to numerous people. I'm thinking it's her in a red bra and panties with a santa hat on??? I know girls that post pics like that on their profiles for anyone to see. I guess my point is that it's entirely possible that he's NOT cheating on you. And some of you girls are telling her she needs to leave him...over that?? Good lord! Take a step back, pull yourself together, and let's look at this logically.
    Did you check his messasge history? Was there anything else that alluded to him cheating?
    Bottom line...talk to him, and admit that you snooped given the pic on his desk and the way it made you feel. The fact that he left your PC logged on to his acct...and well, you took a peek around. Just ask him to be honest and go from there.
    One thing to consider, if he was cheating...why would he leave his Myspace acct logged in. Either he wasn't worried about you looking at it (ie had nothing to hide) or he's a bad cheat.
     
  14. OK Charles, but did you see his response to her provocative picture? "thanks for the pic my holiday is complete now." That's called flirting. And flirting usually means some kind of sexual undercurrent is in the picture.

    Any man in a committed relationship wouldn't BE in a situation where a girl would feel free to send him a pic of her in a sexy outfit...much less complimenting her on it and THANKING her for it. Any man who truly honors his woman would not be flirting with ANYONE --exgirlfriend or not -- period.

    But yes, I agree that what she needs to do is come clean about snooping (due to some red flags she saw) and then have a talk about it. But she absolutely has good reason to be suspicious and upset. My woman's intuition would've perked up, too.
     
  15. I completely agree w/kristydarling! I used to know a guy who flirted online and sent and received pics w/girls online while in a relationship....in the end, the girl gets hurt and the guy proves to be untrustworthy! :cursing: