1. I love telemarketers. My bf has so much fun with them. They call to offer some kind of service, magazine or free vacation. Instead my bf starts to sell them something. Mostly something illegal. He asks if they smoke marijuana, if they have anyone, if they want any? When they ask for a credit card number to purchase the newspaper/service/vacation, he tells them someone just stole his car with his credit cards inside. He asks the telemarketer if he can use him as a witness since he is on the phone with them while his car was stolen. Ultimatly he gives them a fake credit card and a fake name. Some of his favorite names are Jack Mehov and I am his wife Sunny Dae.

    Once he started asking them if they sold any solutions for anal warts or a nose hair trimmer. Sometime you just need to enjoy the telemarketers and bother them back.

    P.S. He often asks them for their telefone number, address and credit card number while he selling them, his product. HAHA.:nuts:
  2. Too funny!
    I love to let them give thier whole entire yada yada, as if I really like their idea. And then after they have exhaused every effort, simply say "No thanks" and hang up.
    Dont hate me!!
  3. Thought you and your boyfriend might enjoy this one, Minnie:nuts:


    The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with

    "Is this Karl Brummer". Not sounding anything like my name, I asked who is calling.
    The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that. Then I asked him if he
    knew Karl personally and why was he calling this number.

    I then said off to the side, "get some pictures of the body at various angles and the blood smears",

    I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this murder case.

    I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and
    could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.

    The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I then told him we had located his position and the police were
    entering the building to take him into custody, at that point I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

    My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes.

    My meal was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long time.
    :lol: :lol:
    Wish I ws brave enough to pull this one off!
  4. :lol: :lol: :lol: Here's some tips I found online (long I know):

    1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

    2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my car won't start..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.

    3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

    4. This works great if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company..." You: (Wait for a second) With a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"

    5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

    6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

    7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends...would YOU be my friend?"

    8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get blood out? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?"

    9. Ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

    10. Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to their fellow employees.

    11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang-up.

    12. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number, you will call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Hang up.

    13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

    14. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

    15. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.

    16. Tell the telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

    17. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

    18. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder...louder...louder...

    19. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write DOWN EVERY WORD.

  5. We once kept one of them on for over an hour, I was in tears, laughing sooo hard! Those are good.
  6. i hate them. i'm one the do not call list, and still, i'm being stalked by these government grant people who will not stop calling.
  7. I actually worked as a telemarketer for one summer in high school --> worst job EVAR. This is gonna sound counter-intuitive, but all these tactics actually make the job more bearable. You normally get a curt no and then they hang up. The kind of antics described here break the monotony of the day and make the job more fun.

    Weird, huh?
  8. Well I am glad we are providing some relief for these poor souls.
  9. awww, its just their job. :smile:

    Its annoying, but someones gotta do it. I'm usually polite but say I'm not interested.
  10. I don't have the time to deal with them I either don't answer or hang up.
  11. What a hysterical sense of humor. Does he ever use the name Mike Hunt?
  12. haha. my number has been on the do-not-call list for quite some time now so i never get the calls anymore. i like that list angelica posted.. i have to do that sometimes with my friends!
  13. Oh you know Mike too? lol:lol:
  14. I'm on a do not call list from the phone company, but THEY sometimes call to try and upsell services. Usually, I let them talk and then tell them nicely thanks but no thanks.

    However, I recently had one who wanted to sell me faster ADSL + VoIP + television, etc. for a massive price, where as competitors are cheaper and when I told him I wasn't interested, he went all "Listen lil lady, you don't know anything about computers and the Intarweb", I started being annoying and asking all the dimbat questions I could to waste his time.
  15. That's hilarious. However, i usually just put them on hold then hang up later. My mom is always super polite to them for some reasons, she thinks it's "rude" to just hang up.:wacko: So she usually lets them finish what they want to say, then "Sorry, i'm not intersted."