Strategy for telling him about purchase! Truth or Lil Lie?

#16
I talked about this in a similar thread a few days ago, but may strategy until I got busted was to at least triple the price of the bag when I told my DH. As he started to get pissed, I would tell him I was joking, and bring the price down to about double! By the time that I got to the actual price...it seemed so much better than its predecessors, that he never was as mad as he would have been if I had just told him the actual price up front!! My strategy was uncovered, but it worked for a while!!!
 
#17
i don't want my bf to think i am so frivolous w/ my money so i always discount my bags by at least 50%. once in a while i'd tell him the truth if the bags were ~500 or so. i never tell him about the 1k+ bags... i dont want him to think that i'm going to break his bank one day because i might be a housewife.
 
#18
If he is truly significant in your life, you just can't lie. He has to be able to accept you as you are and if he doesn't know who you are, it's not a fair playing ground. Make him aware of your love of bags, try to explain the passion, and make it plain that it is what you choose to buy with spare money you have.

My husband is okay with it. Doesn't understand it totally but accepts it. His hardest part is the need of more than a few. He doesn't see why one purse very 6 months or so isn't enough.

But I have my own job, my own money, all bills are paid, we own the house, and no credit debt. If anyone is unemployed and using their S/O's money, that would be a big no no. Or if big bills are due and not getting paid or if household/or childrens needs are not being met then I would say that was a no no too. In "Our Purse World" being irresponsable AND impulsive are a bad combination. I say Truth to everything EVEN if he doesn't inderstand.

They do get over the shock after awhile, and my husband will even critique my bags now and tells me which ones he likes best. He's admitted to thinking the higher priced bags are far more worthy of the bucks than say a Coach or Dooney. And that is a big leap for him.

I happen to have a hubby who is very low maintanance and hardly ever buys anything for himself...so at times it make me feel bad. But it's his choice. He knows he can buy whatever he wants.
 
#19
Is he going to ask how much it costs? My boyfriend never asks. Actually, more than anything he's an enabler, in the past I haven't told boyfriends, its really none of their business, and even the ones who figured out that I was wearing designer goods (guys don't always notice) didn't really ever ask how much they cost. I think its different if you're living together and you're short on rent or something, but otherwise why would you tell him? I'm not suggesting lying, but unless you're relationship is to the point where you're discussing finances I don't see why he should ask or you should tell. I think the one boyfriend who asked I responded by asking how much his trust fund was and that ended the conversation. :rolleyes:
 
#20
pidgeon92 said:
My thought is this:

If this is a relationship that you think may lead to marriage, tell him the truth.

If this is a fling, it's none of his business since it is your money.
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irishgal said:
if the fact that you are a fashion horse and willing to spend for nice things is a deal breaker, he needs to know that now. And so do you.
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these ladies already said it better than i ever could. :smile:
 
#21
Well I just came up with a new one (for me anyway) last night. After I went on my crazy shopping spree at Elux (because I got scared of the price increase on June 1st for LV) I said how am I gonna get all this stuff in here?????? So, I went over to him and said, "I've been going over the checkbook and I notice theres a good amount of extra money in there, how would you like $500 dollars to buy yourself something nice?" He says YES!!!!! He would love that!!! So I think, "I am so in!". So, he wises up to me and says, "wait a minute, what did you buy now?" So I tell him about the price increase and how I would have had to pay so much more money bla bla blah. And he was ok with it!!! So, I think I've figured out, as long as he gets something too---he doesn't mind the LV purchases!!!!! Well, as long as I don't go overboard.
 
#22
We have a don't-ask, don't-tell situation. Actually, my husband is trying to understand the purse thing, but I realize he won't ever totally get it, so I just don't discuss it much. He doesn't really notice either.
 
#24
Yes, I totally agree. I don't think I have to tell my bf how much any of my clothes/accessories cost. He knows I love fashion and that I pay for it myself. I know he sometimes wonders if he can "afford" me ... but I don't feel it necessary to "reassure" him.


winternight said:
Is he going to ask how much it costs? My boyfriend never asks. Actually, more than anything he's an enabler, in the past I haven't told boyfriends, its really none of their business, and even the ones who figured out that I was wearing designer goods (guys don't always notice) didn't really ever ask how much they cost. I think its different if you're living together and you're short on rent or something, but otherwise why would you tell him? I'm not suggesting lying, but unless you're relationship is to the point where you're discussing finances I don't see why he should ask or you should tell. I think the one boyfriend who asked I responded by asking how much his trust fund was and that ended the conversation. :rolleyes:
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#25
sonya said:
Yes, I totally agree. I don't think I have to tell my bf how much any of my clothes/accessories cost. He knows I love fashion and that I pay for it myself. I know he sometimes wonders if he can "afford" me ... but I don't feel it necessary to "reassure" him.
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:roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao:
 
#27
I guess I'm a little confused about why you'd be afraid to tell him the price? :huh: Didn't you say it was your money that purchased the bag? I know what you mean when you say he doesn't "understand" but I definately don't think lying is heathly for the relationship even if you don't plan on seeing him long term etc.
 
#28
why does it matter?

i ask because my husband and i don't share finances, so i don't understand why women hide purchases from their husbands/boyfriends or lie about purchases or whatever. if YOU work hard for YOUR money, you should be able to spend however YOU see fit. i just feel like if i have to explain that to him then that's asking for permission, and i don't get down like that.
 
#29
blackbutterfly said:
why does it matter?

i ask because my husband and i don't share finances, so i don't understand why women hide purchases from their husbands/boyfriends or lie about purchases or whatever. if YOU work hard for YOUR money, you should be able to spend however YOU see fit. i just feel like if i have to explain that to him then that's asking for permission, and i don't get down like that.
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Well said. :yes:
 
#30
sonya said:
Yes, I totally agree. I don't think I have to tell my bf how much any of my clothes/accessories cost. He knows I love fashion and that I pay for it myself. I know he sometimes wonders if he can "afford" me ... but I don't feel it necessary to "reassure" him.
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I agree w/ sonya.

I don't volunteer the cost of those things. I don't police him nor do i care about his purchases.

My mom does her "secret shopping" eversince I was a baby. She just buys and keeps it in her closet. I'm pretty sure he knows, but it's never an issue. I only get upset when she says she's buying Chanel for me and it's really for her... LOL :rant:
 
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