Still Standing

caitlin1214

tPF Bish
O.G.
Jul 7, 2006
29,110
780
Anyone remember this show? I used to watch it when it aired Monday nights on CBS and now they show reruns on TBS in the afternoons.

Watching it again, I realize how much of a lovable oaf the father is, but I guess that's what makes the show so funny.



High school sweethearts Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple working to raise their three children responsibly and not lose sight of their own youthfulness. As parents who came of age in the 70s, they raise their three children more by the seats of their pants than by the book, trying to do things a bit differently with their kids than their parents did with them, trying to be cool parents. But now they have a teenage daughter, Lauren, who wants a belly-button ring and a son, Brian, who they can't pry away from his computer long enough for him to raise a little hell and enjoy his youth. Thank goodness for the youngest, Tina, who still worships them both.
(tv.com)
 
Linda: Paul thinks that the secret to a truly fulfilling relationship is being totally honest with each other at all times.
(Bill and Judy laugh hysterically)



Brian: Dad, is the TV busted?
Bill: Nope, I'm reading a book.
Brian: Is it a book about TV?



Judy: What are you doing?
Bill: Jeez, I'm just reading a book. You're all acting like that time I ate a salad.



Judy: What happened last night?
Linda: A lady doesn't kiss and tell.
Judy: Honey, a lady doesn't wear last night's cocktail dress to a pancake breakfast.



Bill: I still remember our first time, when you got that look in your eyes and said those three magical words: "what the hell."



Judy: You told a boy our daughter liked him and then you paid him to call her?!
Bill: Tah-dah!
Linda: For your next trick, why don't you pull your head out of your ass?



Tina: Where do babies come from?
Bill: When a mommy and daddy love each other very much, and there's nothing good on TV, they drink a magical potion brewed in Milwaukee.



Judy: Your son need some advice. High school's tough.
Bill: No, it's not. It was a blast.
Judy: That was us, we were cool. Look at him, he needs help.
Brian: Mom, I'm sitting right here.



Bill: You never told me you were on the debate team.
Brian: Yes, I did.
Bill: No, you didn't.
Brian: Yes, I did.
Bill: Oh, you're good!



Brian: They're leaving me in charge to make sure your homework is done.
Lauren: Okay, but if I get done early do you think you can teach me how to play chess?
Brian: Really? That'd be great, Lauren.
Lauren: As if! Checkmate, loser!
Brian: Funny, Lauren. You're going to need that sense of humor when you're serving cocktails at an indian casino.
Judy: Hey, I'm sure wherever Lauren ends up serving cocktails, it'll be classy.



Bill: I promised to take my family to the planetarium.
Bergner: (cackles) I'll be bowling while you're looking at a bunch of fish.
Bill: Planetarium, Bergner.
Bergner: All right, plants, whatever.



Tina: I wanted to see the stars.
Bill: Well, you still can. Close your eyes real tight and rub 'em with your fists.
 
(Linda walks in carrying grocery bags)
Judy: Bill, help her.
Bill: Why? Sixteen therapists couldn't.



Tina: Mommy, you forgot to wake me up for school.
Judy: Let's run upstairs and play the 'let's get dressed real fast game.'
Tina: Like you and daddy do when I come into your room 'cause I can't sleep?



Bill: Your mother and I have told you a thousand times not to play hockey in the living room.
Brian: She's not here, dad.
Bill: In that case, Tina and I are the Blackhawks.



Judy: (letting Brian drive) Keep your hands on the wheel at all times. 'Ten and two.'
Brian: Really? 'Cause dad's hands are usually at noon and his nose.



Judy: I'd better start dinner. Linda and her new boyfriend will be here any minute.
Bill: I thought I'd fire up the barbecue and grill tonight.
Judy: It's freezing out there! You're gonna be standing out there, all by yourself, while we're in here getting to know Linda's new guy, and—oh, okay, I can see where you're going with this.



Brian: Oh, no, I was praying it wasn't you.
Bill: What are you talking about?
Brian: Some kid said they saw a hooker and her parole officer walking around and I said, "please don't let it be my parents."
Judy: How could you think it would be us?
Brian: It is you!



Principal Bodin: I didn't think you'd written the note, Brian. An honors English student (turns head towards Bill) wouldn't have used the word "hot" twice in one sentence and misspelled "bodacious."



Judy: You know what they say, "lightning strikes twice."
Mrs. Cutler: That's actually not what they say. Brian can explain it to you.



Judy: There's nothing funny about your sister being in honors science.
Brian: You want me to stop laughing, but you keep saying it.



Linda: It's so nice to see you guys have finally taken an interest in junior high. Only took you 25 years!
Bill: When you have kids, I'm sure you and donor sample 3256 will feel the same way we do.



Judy: Can you turn it down? Brian's trying to study.
Bill: Come on, Judy, you think Journey's wife tells him to turn it down?



Sandy: Yo, Judes, I'm sick of hanging out with your boring-ass sister.
Linda: It's only been ten seconds, and I can hear you.
 
Bill: Come on Judy, let's go brain storm.
Brian: That'll be a light drizzle.




Judy: You kids shouldn't drink alcohol. It's dangerous and makes you do stupid things.
Bill: [laughs] Hey, Judy, remember that time when I was a senior in high school, and got so drunk that I...
[Judy glares]
uh, fell to my death?




Bill: This family supports each other.
Lauren: Since when?
Judy: Okay, it's something new we're trying.




Judy: Lauren, do you have any idea what your brother's been doing with all his money?
Lauren: Apparently, not hiding it as well as I hide mine.
Bill: You have money?
Lauren: No.




Judy: Don't you think there's a little double-standard there?
Bill: Not at all. I have one standard for Brian and another different standard for Lauren. That way, they each get their own.
Judy: I was gonna say that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, but I wanna wait to hear what you have to say next.
 
Oh my goodness! I became addicted this summer! Bill and Judy remind me of my sister and her husband. They have the same juvenille parenting skills!