Stalker-ish man - should I move?

  1. Hey everyone... I have this dilemma and am not sure what to do. I can't decide if he's harmless or scary...

    I just moved into a building in a pretty good/safe area in Hong Kong. My apartment is great, and incredible for the price, was only able to get it through connections. So all around, it's the perfect place for me, had it not been for my "stalker."

    I have landline provided by the building. He called me three times in two weeks (that which I picked up, too lazy/scared to pick up the other times when it rang - couldn't have been my family because of the time difference) asking me to meet him downstairs (he knows where I live!) or my plans for the day or whatever. Because he knew my name, number (only my family knows my home number), and address, I knew it had to be a doorman. And low and behold, I'm pretty which one it is (very distinctive accent, looks at me weird whenever I walk across the lobby, only three doormen - certain it's not the other two.) To make the situation worse, he's on night duty this week, the doormen has all the keys to the apartments, and my door only has one lock. I'm actually pretty scared.

    So I complained to management but they aren't very willing to fire him. I wonder if it even matters if they fire him, since he'll still know where I live and hold a grudge.

    What is your opinion on the situation? Am I overreacting? Could he just be a bold, over-friendly, socially-inept guy? (PS. he looks forty-fifty, and I'm in my early-twenties. He should leave me alone no matter what) If I move, I'll have to pay at least twice what I'm paying now, most likely even more... that's pretty much the only thing holding me back from moving. I really value any advice you may have. Thank you so much.
  2. Stalkers can get very dangerous, especially if you reject their advances.
    I'd say you better speak again with the management and with the police as well. What's the legal situation in HK? Is stalking punishable by the law? If it is, you have more leverage on the management. If you are not comfortable with all that, ask a male friend, better of the burly variety, to lay down the law to that guy.
  3. I say get another lock (or two!) installed on your door ASAP. I don't know if the doormen having keys to anyone's apartment is standard practice in HK, but I know I would be extremely uncomfortable to know that someone other than me had keys to my apartment. I wouldn't even give my own mother keys to my apartment. :nogood:
  4. If you have complained to the management and they have refused to take action then you should talk to a lawyer or the police. Start documenting every call, every time he talks to you, etc. Also, see if you can set up a hidden camera to see if he is breaking into your apartment. Hopefully when you talk to the police they will have someone who is an expert on stalking. I'm afraid that if you move he will just follow you to the new place, but maybe not.
  5. I would def. talk to someone more official that can actually be willing to do something, if in HK stalking is illegal. It's really creepy that he's actually calling you. Do you get that sick-to-the-stomach feeling when you see him or he talks to you? That womanly instinct is almost always right, at least in my life it has been. It seems that you do get that feeling since you've gone to management. I would try talking to them about it, letting them know the real extent to the situation (the calling, invitations, etc) and if they don't do anything about it, don't be afraid to get the cops involved. It's their job, and your safety matters!!! Keep us filled in!
  6. It's a shame the management didn't help you. That is inexcusable. I agree with Florasun and would speak to a lawyer or file a complaint with the police.

    They have the means to determine whether the guy is a harmless pest or a stalker. In any case, please be very careful and aware.
  7. You need to call the cops. ASAP.
  8. call the police.

    whoa. thats really creepy.

    just a couple days ago there was a attacker around my neighborhood. like 4 blocks away to my house. i was really creeped out. they finally caught him, after 11 attacks (in the NoVA area.)

    lock yur doors, get extra locks. close yur windows too, and check yur closet. LOL
  9. You are in a sticky position here! If he is dangerous & you have him fired you could still be in danger. This behaviour is not acceptable at all. Do you think you could speak with him, find out if it is him & try to reason with him? It is always better to try to resolve these things amiably. I am afraid if he is nasty you will have to move & change all phone numbers etc. Good luck, not a pleasant way to live in fear like this!
  10. The very first thing I would do is put extra locks on your door! Then go talk to management again and tell them if they can't help you youre going to the police, and will let them know exactly how unhelpful management has been.
  11. I agree with everyone, get a safety lock or two on your door. Have you told him to please not call you again?
  12. The owner is putting himself in a bad position by not firing this character. I would talk to the police & file a no contact order if possible. that might take care of getting him fired.
  13. I agree with all the advice given so far. Too many weird people out in the world and it's better to be safe than sorry.

    The management is setting themselves up for a HUGAE lawsuit by not taking this seriously. I hope this is resolved soon.
  14. Id either call the cops the next time he contacts you OR move ASAP and not give a forwarding address to the building. That's incredibly creepy and unsafe. Especially with the doormen having keys to all the units.
  15. Oh Dear. Please call the police and keep a record of everything that has gone on so far. You may need to provide records of the harrassement.

    Please take care of yourself!