Sorta bummed...

  1. This is a silly complaint, but I'm bummed, so I'm gonna complain! :nuts:

    I haven't seen much of my boyfriend recently because he's currently living out of town (moving back soon, though), and things have been fairly rough between us the last month or so. It's just hard not being able to see each other much. I'm a grad student on a limited summer stipend, and I've put almost all the spare cash I have into visiting him this last month (I've even sold bags to cover bills). Now I'm completely broke until Wednesday, when I get paid :yahoo:

    Anyway, my boyfriend does have money, at least enough to come see me. He passed through this week on his way to see some friends and he was very excited because he was going to take me out on two dates, one Tuesday (which we went out on and was fun, very casual) and one tonight. So he just called me en route to tell me he'd be here in about 2 hours but that he'd spent all of his money while visiting his friends (I'm talking about a LOT of money, like $250 over 2 days, and he was staying with them, this wasn't even food or hotel money) and now we can't go out! So I'm trying to get some ingredients together to cook dinner because neither of us can afford to go to a restaurant. So I know this is partially my fault because I'm too broke to pick up the slack for my boyfriend, but he knew that, I told him. Is it unreasonable for me to be upset? My date night just turned into a lot of work and stress!

    Before you think that my boyfriend's a deadbeat, he did just graduate from law school and he starts work in a few weeks, so that's not the problem really. It's just this interim period while he's unemployed and I'm not getting my normal stipend that sucks. Still, I've been working so hard to be responsible this month, I sorta feel betrayed. All I know is on Wednesday I'm freaking going to the Coach outlet and getting something pretty, to h:censor: ll with saving all my money for the boyfriend!!
     
  2. Look out for #1, YOU, coz no-one else will!
     
  3. BF's priorities are seriously misplaced. I wouldn't put up with that nonsense because it's symbolic of how you rate in his life.

    My 2 cents worth.
     
  4. I have to agree, #1 comes first.
     
  5. I would be PISSED!!! You come first!
     
  6. Yeah, I'm starting to see that his priorities are definitely not where I'd like them to be. I don't know that this relationship is where I'd like it to be either, frankly.
     
  7. Sounds like your head is trying to talk to your heart. Listen to it. That's a good thing.

    Never settle. Ever. Life is too short.
     
  8. Take it from someone who has experienced this throughout the course of my marriage....his top priorities do NOT seem to be you. Listen to your head and not your heart, and weigh all of the positives and negatives in your relationship. You need to establish boundaries while you have the chance. I learned that far too many years into my marriage when my husbands love and mistress became his job......
     
  9. Good Advice above. You seem headed in the right direction. Do for you and follow your head. Look out for yourself. There's always time for love when you're so young.
     
  10. hmmm....I'd say to listen to the others, BUT at the same time you don't necessarily need to give up on him -- just explain your standards! Don't start a big fight tonight when you are just reuniting. Wait awhile, then explain -- nicely, but clearly -- that you really did not think it was nice/loving of him to let you down on the night of your date by spending all of his money.

    I'd bring it up later. Just have a good time now. Everyone will have money soon, so that will be less stressful (I can relate to the lame grad student stipend experience!) and it will be a better time to discuss priorities.
     
  11. I don't think this is your fault at all. Yes, you have a right to be upset. Any normal person would be. Just don't blame yourself!:flowers:
     
  12. I agree with MandM....good advice everyone, but don't fly off the handle!
     
  13. Hmmm this is weird advice i'm hearing.

    I would wait for him to come over and you can make dinner together. Spending quality time does not equate to spending money. You can have a lovely evening eating spegheti and ragu and watching a movie. ;)

    Now if he had called to say he was cancelling on you to spend time with his friends, then the story would be different.

    Seems that money is a bit tight for both of you at the moment, but things will be picking up sooner or later. If everything else in the relationship is ok and he is treating you like a princess (not monetarily), then stick with it and hopefully it works. If he's a jerk and you are looking for an excuse to dump him, then listen to the PF ladies advice: YOu come first

    my 2 $0.01's
     
  14. Don't jump to conclusion that fast. Does he do this to you all the time? Maybe he just got carried away this time. Sometimes guys get carry away when they're around their "homeboys". :upsidedown:

    You can still have a fun and nice evening together w/o using money. Sometimes my BF and I will stay in, pop in a dvd and eat last night's leftovers or ramen for the evening.
     
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