Somethings definitely in the air....

#76
bchleo said:
...Obsessing over hurting other's feelings all the time gets silly and counterproductive to the aim of a forum (somewhat free sharing of ideas).
Click to expand...

I wouldn't say I'm "obsessive" about hurting someones feelings but for me, personally, I do think kindness is more important than getting my point across. I would never want to be perceived as a jerk in person so I would not want to be perceived as one here either. Otherwise, anything I would be trying to say would be overshadowed by the way I'm saying it. KWIM? To cite an extreme example, it would be tantamount to a activist group going to destructive measures to get their point across - no one is paying attention to the message, just the method.
 
#77
chag said:
Me too!! My husband has even been acting weird. So this evening I just let him have it. Full throttle LoL!! His eyebrows were so high I thought they would fly off his face but at least he got the point.
Click to expand...
I picture it being sort of like this Chaggy
chair.gif
LOL!

I know in New York the weather was so cold and weird until this week, spring seemed to be non-existent. It made for a lot of cranky NYer's (and we're born cranky to begin w/).

We have to remember the pf is a mix of older (me) and younger people. Everybody's views are welcome but if they come from an angry, confrontational place you will find that people will be missing your point and focusing on your tone instead.

To be honest, the outpouring of support I've seen for various pfers that have had a rough time as of late, melts my heart. Also, Mary's Sunshine committee is such a selfless amazing idea. I try to focus on that stuff.
 
#79
bagnshoofetish said:
I wouldn't say I'm "obsessive" about hurting someones feelings but for me, personally, I do think kindness is more important than getting my point across. I would never want to be perceived as a jerk in person so I would not want to be perceived as one here either. Otherwise, anything I would be trying to say would be overshadowed by the way I'm saying it. KWIM? To cite an extreme example, it would be tantamount to a activist group going to destructive measures to get their point across - no one is paying attention to the message, just the method.
Click to expand...
I totally understand where you are coming from. But I believe that if you know that you don't have any malicious intent in your heart, you shouldn't be particularly concerned over the way you frame your opinion.

Very few people are actually being mean in their responses to other people's posts. Most responses that others take as unkind or rude are really just misunderstandings (again, all as a result of the internet medium's lack of context found IRL). The easiest way to not make this issue a big deal, IMHO, is to ignore the "tone" (which is oft misunderstood anway) and focus on the post's contents.
 
#80
bagnshoo, i just read someone's post in a different section and i'm so irritated by it and totally tempted to post why i think. which is that with that the person needs to review their sense of self entitlement! but i'm not going to do that. but yeah maybe it's something in air + the fact that i've been having sleep problems. i get grouchy and short when i have sleep problems! grrrrr
 
#81
I think it has to do with the tax season (it's over finally... and now on to next year's!); lots of schools are about to end their academic year in a month or two so the students are stressed and tensed about exams/projects/etc. And the weather has been really weird lately! It rained yesterday in LA in the middle of April and it's almost summer and it's not hot yet. And I woke up with a flu! My friend in Texas told me it was snowing there last wk or was it the wk before.
 
#82
I mainly stick to the LV forum and I know there we have some notorious TROLLS. lol :dftt: :dftt: :death:

Definitely not naming names, but "they" never fail to be mean and disagreeable to everything! Makes me wonder how people that assy could have ANY friends. lol

I guess there are some people who don't like things about me and my answers in threads also tho. To each his own.

I'm not sure about the rest of the board. I sometimes am too sensitive and will type out something but try to read over it and possibly delete and just not post at all if I feel it would hurt someone's feelings or start a disagreement.

Everyone needs to post by the golden rule! lol
 
#83
bchleo said:
I totally understand where you are coming from. But I believe that if you know that you don't have any malicious intent in your heart, you shouldn't be particularly concerned over the way you frame your opinion.

Very few people are actually being mean in their responses to other people's posts. Most responses that others take as unkind or rude are really just misunderstandings (again, all as a result of the internet medium's lack of context found IRL). The easiest way to not make this issue a big deal, IMHO, is to ignore the "tone" (which is oft misunderstood anway) and focus on the post's contents.
Click to expand...

thats all fine and well. but I myself will continue to re-examine my own posts. its not a big deal to me to do that.:yes:
 
#84
I've been a little out of sorts this month (April)...taxes...new quarter at work, stress (good stress which is motivating but it's still stress), BF and I each getting over bad colds, and two trips this month (our Laguna Beach vacation then me off to Nashville for a week the following week). Whew, makes my head spin!

As far as catty posts, well we all have different styles. Someone who writes something in a very direct style (for example) may come across as offensive to some but not offensive to others. Posts that are personal attacks and trying to pick fights are just silly. You bet I've been tempted to go off on a few but it's not worth it to fuel the fire.

Oh and I'll join everyone in the chocolate martinis - cheers!

Hugs,
Pursegrrl
 
#85
bchleo said:
I don't know. I guess I don't see disagreement as a threat as much as others do.

This is the most argument-free, flame-free forum I've ever participated in, esp. with its size!

It's inevitable, though, that as a forum grows and a wide range of ideas are expressed, there are going to be more noticeable disagreements.

Newgrl, about the people being argumentative: I think it's all a matter of perspective. While communicating on a message board, it is impossible to sea a person's facial expressions and gestures, all things that contextualize a comment and help determine our response. Some people see certain statements as "combative" while others may not. The key is not to get all tripped up on what people say. We still have the real world.
Click to expand...
bchleo said:
Here's my perspective on this, which I tried to develop in my original post. To you, a comment might be "nasty or cruel," but for others, that's just the way they are accustomed to talking. Or maybe the comment seems nasty and terse although it wasn't intended that way--- if you guys were standing face to face, it wouldn't seem nasty because you have the context of their facial expressions/gestures.

That's while I feel we shouldn't be so quick to be offended.
Click to expand...
very well said, i totally agree.
 
#86
I tend to stick to the Balenciaga threads, and the ladies there are lovely and supportive. I don't think I've ever heard a bad word said in that area. Which is great, as I joined the forum to talk with like minded people who have a passion for designer handbags.

Occasionally (like now) I wander to the Playground area, and have on occasion found threads that have degenerated into arguments. I tend to leave these threads, as the forum is a form of escapism for me, and I don't really want to get involved.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top
Back