So... What would you do? bestfriend/dating/issues... ugh

  1. Uuugggghhhh. This bothered me all last night. My best friend and I went out to my boyfriend's place. She had met him and his brother at my 19th b-day dinner and whatnot, but this trip to their place was just to hang out (watch So You Think You Can Dance, bake some cookies, hit the pool)... but it got weird. Like... she was all over his brother and whatnot and my boyfriend was busy playing poker (it's what he does for a living) so I was kind of left sitting in the basement all by myself. Anyway, my boyfriend doesn't understand why I don't like the idea of my best friend and his brother (who I consider a friend) possibly dating. I just don't like it when two friends of mine who don't know eachother magically start dating. I always feel like I'll be stuck in the middle and when things get rocky again, I'll be in the middle. Not to mention now when I go over there I'm either A) Going to see her 24/7 or B) Hear about her 24/7 from her brother. Am I going crazy? Because last night I was pretty ticked. So... what would you do? Get over it? Try talking to someone? I'm just completely lost. My friend is a MAN HATER. I've known her since freshman year of high school and I've never known her to date any guy, bring a guy to any formal dance in high school, and she always hated every guy I dated to the point where she'd tell me to my face. This is weird... help me out ladies! :shrugs:
  2. Hmmm Well my best friend dated my brother at one point, and let me tell you, nothing good can come of it! lol I was stuck in the middle, and would hear different things. Plus she would come over to my house all the time and never say hello to me...which pissed me off. So I actually began to resent her because of it. I know its a bit of a different story. But I get where you're coming from. Kinda like George on Seinfeld...he doesn't want the two worlds to mix.
    BTW all is good now between everyone, but it definately affected our relationship.
  3. Did you tell your friend how you felt? What did you boyfriend say when you told him it wasn't a good idea? I've had things like this happen to me before for most the part I really just had to get over it. They started dating.. I got to see less & less of them b/c they were always together. Then, my best friend & I just stopped talking, so that was what really bothered me. My boyfriend always came over w/ his best friend (so close they were like brothers) & my very good friend would come over my house every so often. One day they were there at the same time & my b/f best friend & her just hit it off from there on. They would come over & see each other & then started doing things on their own by themselves. Which was kinda mean b/c when we went out we invited them w/ us just to be nice b/c we cared about them both like family. Well, this was awhile ago & I'm not dating that boy anymore but boy sometimes I do think about him! Good luck Katie.
  4. I agree with Danica. No good can come from it! I would feel extremely uncomfortable with the situation. I don't even want different groups of friends to meet each other and date! If anything ever went wrong, it would be awkward for all parties involved! Hopefully, this was a one time thing and she'll back off your bf's brother. Maybe you could bring something like that up to her randomly one day. "Wouldn't it be weird if __________ and ________ went out?!" And then maybe she'll realize...hahaha
  5. Sounds like shes getting too close for comfort. Id be pretty bugged by the whole situation. Your friend should have been more considerate towards your feeling. Im trying to be positive but I cant seem to see how this would work out (her dating your bf's bro). Its too weird and awkard. Hope it works out for you. PS: your pic reminds me of Lisa Loeb. Which is a compliment by my standards. :wlae:
  6. Well I tried to tell her how I felt but everything I said it's like she had something else to say that made it seem "okay" and at that point I just kind of gave up. When I told my boyfriend he didn't see the issue... but he's also not the one who had these two people as seperate friends and would be caught in the middle.

    I honestly don't know what good could ever come from this. These two friends are polar opposites and he's into some things that she has always been quite strongly against (ie his drug habits). She had it already stuck in her mind that she can change him and I just sit there and think, "What the heck are you trying to do?" and I don't know if she's doing this because she feels alone and wants to be dating someone too or what but you don't suddenly meet someone and start planning how you're going to change their lifestyle...
  7. That's exactly how I'm feeling... she's getting too close and way too fast. Going to their house was MY gettaway... and now it's being taken from me! *sigh*

    Thanks :smile:
  8. I wouldn't feel comfortable either. Just plain weirded out. You know what this reminds me of? If you know the show Seinfeld, there's this episode where George's two worlds are colliding? It's when Elaine gets together and hangs out with Susan and he's weirded out by it.

    No advice though. =(
  9. Well I've been on both sides of this.. and Danica is right.. NOTHING good ever comes out of it. I've dated one of my friend's brother and she was just really mean and uptight about it and I couldn't understand why. She just quit talking to me altogether which was really frustrating for me bc I thought she'd be happy for us. I never put her in the middle of anything or stopped being her friend but she slowly started to distance herself away and refused to talk to me. I dated her brother for a few years anyway and just stopped being friends with her. I could never understand why she just stop all communication with me and just left it at that.

    And theeen I actually had two of my best friends date each other.. and that ended dismally. At first it was really great & three of us used to hang out all the time. Then whenever one of them got in a fight I got stuck in the middle... and whenever something happened between me and one of them, the other one would stick up for their SO. It was awkward for all three of us and the two of them would stick together and I ended up feeling really out of the loop. None of us are on speaking terms anymore.

    I hope things work out for you Katie.. and definitely be honest with your friend and have a long talk about how all this is making you feel. Having your feelings out will make you feel better and it may prevent some giant falling out from happening in the future.
  10. Thanks so much, ladies! I'm going to make attempt #2 of talking with her!
  11. Interesting. He might have this problems, and you can inform your friend... but ultimately, I don't think its any of your business. If she's a bright girl, she'll figure out what he's all about by herself. I often think that expounding on someone's potential mate can cause more problems for all parties. If I were in this situation, I would tell her about his drug problem, but keep my opinions to myself unless asked.
  12. So I tried... I IMed her because she wasn't answering her cell and I got this...

    Katie (2:33:35 PM): you're entitled to do whatever you want to do. But let me tell you, it's weird as hell for me and I don't want to get caught in the middle of anything

    Sarah (2:34:24 PM): I have no idea if anything going to happen... especially the distance, and the fact that he probably won't ever call me

    Sarah (2:34:39 PM): its my luck like that

    Sarah (2:35:59 PM): this doesnt come along often for me katie... a boy that might actually likes me, instead of me going stag to every dance and being a third wheel and being single at every moment of my life

    Sarah (2:36:45 PM): seriously, i'll just let you cool down... not like he's ever gonna call me.

    Katie (2:37:42 PM): It doesn't come along because you don't chase it, Sarah

    *sigh* I'm just lost. She doesn't ever attempt to even meet guys and the only reason why she went to things solo is because she never wanted to find someone to go! oooof. I'm done.
  13. I would get over it. I didn't plan for the two of them to get together, but if they did, I would be happy for them and keep out of it. You can't control who you fall in like with.
  14. I don't see it.
  15. Looks like I'm the odd one out here.

    I don't think who your friend chooses to date is any of your business (and I mean that in the nicest way possible). Nobody including yourself has any right to tell her who she should and shouldn't date and if two consenting people want to date each other then nobody should feel the need to interfere.

    I do understand why it might make you uncomfortable and I can see why you'd be against this situation but in the end it's not up to you and it's really not your place (or anyone elses) to tell voice their opinions about her love life.

    Good luck with whatever decision you make!!! :shrugs: