So irritated! gr

  1. I feel bad because my boyfriend is doing his best but sometimes I really just hate his brother! His brother is REALLY selfish. His dad works as a fisherman - so for the last 3 months he's been prepping and pumping in about 80k on his boat to do his test (that happens every 4 years). ** And it doesn't help that his dad is almost 60, sprained his ankle a couple of months ago, and his other son (who's the big guy in the family) won't give him an hour of his time! My boyfriend has his degree in IT so he does all the computer stuff but he really doesn't know much about the mechanical parts. A few weeks ago his brother (Let's call him Dennis) said that he would help his dad on the boat. Mind you, my boyfriend has been on the boat helping his dad for the last 3 months every single weekend - all weekend. So this one time that they ask Dennis (he's a bigger guy) to do some of the heavier stuff. He agrees to but last minute says 'he has to go to work'. We find out later that he actually went to the island with his wife (who also does not do anything) because she's was sad. She just had a 3 month vacation and the 2 weeks off again! So everyone decided never to ask Dennis because he makes a big deal about it and then lies to get out of it leaving his dad helpless.

    Well this weekend was suppose to be my birthday weekend. My bf had plans of going to a really early breakfast and followed by a full day of events that were surprises. Basically he stayed at my place and about 8 I dropped him off at his so he could 'get **** together' and shower and we're god to go. He got a call from his dad and he said today really isn't a good day. He's been there every weekend so you'd think that it would be OK for him to be busy for once. But nope, his dad had a fit saying that he's never helping out when in reality out of his whole family of 5 kids he's the only one there on the weekends. It is about 1 pm here and I'm still waiting for him. He had to end up going to run around and get things for his dad because Dennis again BAILED OUT! He found out that this was suppose to be something Dennis was suppose to do and that's why it was such a last minute thing. Now my bf is rushing around getting things so he can come back for my birthday he was going to get his dad something at the store, he ran into Dennis and his wife!! So he was caught red handed not where he said he was going to be.

    I mean it's not my bf's fault because it's not like he can say NO to his dad. But his brother knows that today was my birthday day and that he had all these plans. And even when he told his dad that today he really needs to get out because of my birthday he just makes a fit saying that he's never there helping him which is so untrue!

    I'm just so irritated at the way some of the men in his family act!!!

    *thanks for letting me vent*
     
  2. Hey Gal


    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!:balloon::flowers:



    Sorry to hear about the change in plans... always disappointing =(

    and having such an irresponsible brother/SO-IL is really annoying and frustrating!! what i'm kind of disappointed in is your SO's father saying that he never helps him when he's the only one doing it.....

    i think he needs to talk to his dad and not get taken for granted or pushed around... you know?

    so sorry that you have to deal with the last minute change in plans and all that. these things are rough =(

    but i hope he'll be done soon and you guys can still celebrate your birthday =) and you can always continue the celebration through to sunday =)
     
  3. Hi there,
    first I wanna say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

    i dont know what to say about the whole situation, but your BF's brother is really irresponsible!!
    Hope he can get things done fast, so he could get back to you and celebrate you bday!!!
    have a nice bday party girl!!!

    :party:
     
  4. I'm late to this but a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

    Your BF sounds like a lovely caring person. He is a very responsible guy hence he is always helping out his pa. However, it must have hurt him to hear his own father say he is never there to help out.

    If your BF is OK with all of this then I don't think much can be done to change anything. Only your BF has the power to change this situation. He probably can't do anything to make his brother help, but what about his other siblings?
     
  5. Everyone's points are very good.
    And Happy Birthday!
     
  6. You have an awesome bf. I know how you feel...I have a very selfish brother...my own blood! He is 25 and still lives with my parents and doesn't pay bills..or help around the house. Just think that your SO is a stand up guy..try to be patient and support him. Hope things change for the best. ;)
     
  7. Happy late birthday!! I know what it's like having to deal with in laws and your own family but your bf sounds like he is really trying hard to make everyone happy...

    hope things work out!
     
  8. Well the day didn't get any better as we were suppose to check into the nicest hotel in town and go to the spa. They lost our reservations and we ended up just going out for dinner. It was a pretty bummer day but all in all wasn't too bad. I guess I was just disappointed because I was so excited.

    This may be for another thread but he's not OK with it. He's like all I do is help around and then later on I get punished for helping too much when I can't.

    Basically the house hold that he comes from is that his dad is a war vet (Vietnam) and his dad literally risked his life to get his family over here. They started out with 7 dollars in his pocket and now has a million+ dollar boat. So it's really a touchy subject for them all. I think my BF feels that he's obligated to do these things, but his siblings don't. Other than his brother he has 3 sisters and a BIL. Because his brother always bails and he's like the last resort how does he get out of that? His dad is so unreasonable sometimes and you can't tell him that you're 'busy' when you don't have work. And he feels so tied down because it's like how do I get my life started when every single weekend I am helping him and not myself. It's really aggravating for me to watch and I can't do a damn thing to help the situation. =T
     
  9. ^Oh sweetie...I'm sorry your bday didn't work out the way you hoped.

    I really don't have any advice...my fiancee's family is a bit, uhh, unique as well. I have just learned to be there for him and to let him deal with his family.

    Hopefully this situation will change for the better...it just might require alot of patience :sad:
     
  10. I'm sorry you almost had your birthday spoilt. Sounds to me like his Dad's got a preference for his brother. Otherwise, why would he let him get away with it all and then have a fit if your SO can't be there to replace him?

    I'm glad you understand that it's his family and he can't really say no (points for you!). But he needs to have a talk with his Dad about this whole situation. Maybe not throw dirt on his brother, but point out how he's been there every weekend and such. Hmm.. maybe do throw a little dirt on how his brother's always bailing out on him. Hopefully that'll shed some light.

    Have a happy birthday!