Sick of Spending/Consumerism/Shiny Pretty Things

#16
I started feeling like that when I graduated college, and realized that I had accumulated so much stuff and had to literally throw/leave/donate over half of my stuff. Since then I've been more picky about what I buy, and I've stopped buying on impulse. I'll think things over for a few days to like a year (lol for the really expensive stuff) before I buy to make sure its something that I really will wear/use alot and do actually want to have for a few seasons to come. Its actually made my wardrobe so much better and more useable.

I'm starting to get into the "must buy while on sale" mentality again, and I need to stop myself! Your post helped me remember this. Thanks Intlset!
 
#17
Great thread!...I'm going through the same thing right now. I'm a SAHM and started selling to 1) get rid of some of the junk in the basement and 2) get rid of all the Coach bags that I accumulated over the years so that I can make some $$ to put towards my IRA. When I started selling, it never crossed my mind to buy anything but once I started cruising on-line, I discovered LV and Balenciaga and then my IRA funds basically went down the drain.:tdown: I was selling to fund my "new" addiction and they are much more expensive than Coach. Just last week, I wanted to buy some new X-mas decorations for the front of the house and DH said we couldn't because, he needed the funds to pay the bills... and that's when it hit me. He works to pay off the mtg., gas & electric, food, clothes, etc and what do I do? I spend my money on designer handbaags. I was so ashamed of myself:shame:. DH works long & hard to support me and my sons and also because he wants to retire when he's in his mid 50's and all I can contribute is nothing because I'm spending the $$ that I make selling to fund more bags. Fortunately, that's my only addiction but it doesn't make me feel any better about myself. As of last week, I swore off impluse spending and just buying what I know I will actually carry and I can proudly say that I have no desire to purchase anything....I have seen the light! :yes:
 
#18
Wow. Great thread.

I have been experiencing these exact feelings for several months now. I look in my closet and see all the clothes hanging with the tags still attached and purses sitting on my shelf unused in their dustbags. It honestly makes me feel ill.

What's funny about reading this post now is that I started "clean-sweeping" my life a week ago (like the show on TLC). I'm sick of seeing all of this junk around that I do not use. It makes my life feel stressed and cluttered. I literally only want to keep the things that I actually use. I narrowed down my collection of designer denim to about five pairs (from about 20). Truth be told, I probably don't need all five pairs!

I agree with you, when did we decide that this is the standard of living? The more I think about global warming and the wasting of resources, the more it makes me not want to contribute to the production of more items/things/junk by buying new products all of the time.

I hear you, too, on the comment about buying into the idea that you can "buy the person you want to be." That comment has my name written all over it! For the past year I've been fighting with the idea that if I just buy the right pair of sunglasses/the newest Seven jeans/the perfect party dress that I will somehow be the girl who has it all together. In reality, I know that I'm incredibly lonely and self-conscious living away from my friends and family across the country and that I would gladly trade in half of my wardrobe (I have to wear something, of course!) for a great group of friends that I would have for the rest of my life.

I think the feelings you're having will pass, but at least you're aware of the impact consumerism is having on your life! So many people are content to live this way (or are completely unaware, like all of the vapids-for-role models we see nightly on Extra or Entertainment Tonight). Now you can figure out what you can do to make things better :smile:
 
#19
IntlSet said:
Do you ever look around and think, "What is all this junk?" I have seriously run head-first into this realization lately...

Yes, absolutely! I ebayed/donated a bunch of things last year and need to have another round just to feel less cluttered. I end up with so many things that I rarely use. It does start to feel like 'junk' when you feel overwhelmed by it.

Honestly, I look in my closet every morning and see so many expensive clothes/bags that I thought would be "so worth it" and that I would "wear forever" and that I thought were "investment pieces," but that never turns out to be the case (for me). And now whenever I see all these clothes/bags/furniture/whatever that I thought were just so great, I just feel DUMB. I feel incredibly stupid that I bought into this consumer dream that I could somehow buy the person I want to be.

This is a great point! Actually there are some bags (other objects, like cars) that I strongly associate with a complete lifestyle, but the object isn't going to get you there. I thought I would use certain 'classic' pieces more then I have. I really just have to get things that fit into my lifestyle and where I am in life, not into some fantasy world. I would love to open my closet and see things that I wear and love and only those things!

Thanks for hearing me out. Anyone else feel this way?
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Another issue for me is affordability, not do I have the money in the bank, but does it fit into my whole lifestyle and my fiscal goals. I think to do well you always have to cut back somewhere and keep track of spending. I just haven't met anyone who spends on everything (although I'm sure they exist). For me clothes, shoes, and bags are my weakness, I cut back in other areas and make sure to invest/save.
 
#20
If folks are going into debt or despair :sad: due to spending, I do think it is time to sit and reevaluate priorities. Don't be too hard on yourself though. :yes:

As for me, I stick to two rules to keep spending under control and keep me feeling happy about my little handbag hobby:

1) Mine is a "working collection" - if I don't wear it, it is out. I give myself three chances to wear it and then off to ebay. No excuses. This is true for new bags or even old favorites.
2) Only keep what makes me feel 100% fabulous. If it is just so-so, it is off the ebay or given away as gifts. I have sold off some gorgeous bags, but they just weren't gorgeous on me. This also works for clothes and shoes too...

I thought about a one-in/one-out policy, but it is way too strict. I know that works for some people though.
 
#21
I think at this time of the year especially, we are all bombarded with messages to consume things. So I think a lot of us are seeing/feeling the pressure of this right now.

I personally go through phases. I buy a lot of stuff, but then I sell a lot on eBay. Or I donate items too. For me, I don't necessarily feel guilty about buying things, because I feel I have an "out" by being able to sell items later. Also, thanks to inventions like eBay I am able to buy higher end items at lower prices. I usually never pay retail for anything.

I think the main thing is just to keep everything in moderation. I don't need every Louis Vuitton bag ever made. I don't need to have 100 pairs of Prada shoes. It does sound good to have all those things, but in the end, I would probably only use about 10% of what I had.

I don't necessarily maintain the one-in-one-out rule, but if it doesn't fit in the closet, I make room for it by getting rid of other stuff. So due to my lack of storage space I keep myself in check.

On the flip side, I don't believe that denying yourself is a good thing either. If you love it and can afford it, then buy it. If you can't afford it, then don't stress yourself out by getting it anyway and then worry about paying for it.

The truth is that there is enough to go around. If you are a good person, are honest, nice to others, good to yourself, etc., you're already on the right track. And that's independent of the coffee you're drinking and the bag you're carrying.
 
#22
The pressure to spend and consume comes from everywhere- the news, the government, the entertainment industry. Every day I watch the stock market news and every day they are seriously focused on how strong the "consumer" is. Unfortunately, the US (and global) economy are dependent on a strong consumer environment. Back in the 40's (way before our times), they used to tell people that to keep the economy strong, they should "open a savings account and save money for lean times", now they tell us that to keep the economy strong, we need to go out and buy. When did this all change?

No wonder I feel like a hamster caught in a wheel of buy and spend! I've definitely been trying to find fulfillment in other ways besides shopping, its a hard habit to break though.
 
#23
RealDealGirl said:
I've definitely been trying to find fulfillment in other ways besides shopping, its a hard habit to break though.
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Gosh, that's an understatement! I know exactly what you mean. I look around in my apt and I wonder, where did all these things come from and why did I need them??? And then I head online, or turn on the tv and I'm hit with an urge to purchase purchase purchase again. :Push:
 
#24
I totally see where you coming from. I too have these realizations from time to time, but I always manage to rationalise that it's "normal", or rather something that "I" want and thus I shouldn't compromise my taste.

I have no idea how I'll end up later though, when I can't spend my entire income on luxury goods, travel and similar.. I'll probably be depressed for a while.

I don't know why shopping and new items themselves are so ... .intriguing.
 
#25
IntlSet said:
Honestly, I look in my closet every morning and see so many expensive clothes/bags that I thought would be "so worth it" and that I would "wear forever" and that I thought were "investment pieces," but that never turns out to be the case (for me). And now whenever I see all these clothes/bags/furniture/whatever that I thought were just so great, I just feel DUMB.
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I tried to tell a few posters this, in the Chanel forum. When they were talking about having their bags "forever." These posters are a lot younger than me and I was explaining that they think now they will love something forever, but their tastes will change. Or fashion will change. Those Chanel/Prada chain bags that looked so right in the '80s looked really wrong in the '90s, for example. They weren't impressed by what I said.:lol:

I bought into 'investment dressing' in the '80s and now realize that clothes in particular have no resale value. Bags do a bit more, but they get kind of musty and that lowers the resale value. Jewellery has the best resale value, but only if it's a well loved brand name.

I'm not sick of everything of course. I still love my original Cartier rings and one or two vintage Chanel bags, but a lot of the stuff I'm just sick of. You try wearing the same thing for 25 years and see if you still love it the same way. Sometimes I put something away for a few years and get it out and they're lovely to see again. I just found a slouchy wool Donna Karan cardigan/coat that suddenly looks right again.

Just buy what you need (and love) and use it all the time in order to get your moneys worth. Maybe you should sell some things now, whatever you don't love at the moment, to make yourself feel better. That way you don't have to constantly be reminded of any mistakes.
 
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#26
I question myself about this issue a lot. My nice things make me feel confident and pretty when I wear them, but I wonder why I don't feel that way without them.

A nice handbag makes me walk taller, and my lovely jewelry makes me feel stronger inside. I don't get the same feeling when I'm in sweats and a t-shirt. I prefer the "dressier" me to the other me.

I honestly don't know the hows and whys behind it all. But, on the opposite side of the coin, I am grateful that I can afford the things I have and I do appreciate everything. I am most indebted to my DH who makes it all possible.
 
#27
I would never spend $200 on jeans, because denim is so common I feel it should be cheap, and I will not be convinced otherwise. That's not the point, the point is that everything you buy for whatever reason doesn't have to be the most expensive choice. If you get into the frame of mind where you don't like paying a lot for something that's going to last for a few minutes while you drink it or you know you're really not going to appreciate that next expensive designer bag then you'll spend less. I hate giving my money away too frequently and then it's undeserved, and especially hate being surprised by the high price of a beverage, to be honest I turn away if it's going to annoy me that much. Don't let the ultra-costly things you occasionally buy raise the bar for all the other items, too.
 
#29
Great thread.
I always thought expensive things would make me happier, but it didn't. It may make me look better, but I'm not truly happier.
I also just realized how much junk I have...I just realized that I buy EVERYTHING in at least two different colors. How many sweaters does a person need?
 
#30
"Do you own your things, or do your things own you?"

It is a fine line that some of us cross. When your house is cluttered, and your bank account is emptied, things do little to comfort you.

Even if you can afford these things, do you find you are using them as an emotional crutch or to replace aspects of unsatisfactory relationships or a bad job? Do you go shopping when you can't stand to be still with yourself? Or do you use shopping to avoid dealing with your real problems?

Advertising and Media Hype have never been stronger, and as some have mentioned, interest in Celebrity tends to take your focus off of you. But none of this is real. Most Celebrities don't live this way either.

I need more intellectual stimulation, book club, a course, some new friends (not that I don't want to keep the old ones) and a renewed appreciation for all the things I do have.

I have also been going through closets and cabinets, and trying to purge. I have 20 years of consumerism around me. I will keep the things I love.

I don't want to actively collect anything anymore. I want to travel, and am more interested in book, movies and conversation.
 
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