Should I go?

#31
Can you talk to her about it, casually?

You can bring up anything to a good friend. Ask her if she really wants you to come along.

If I could not talk to my friend about her decision, then I would not go.

I would just distance myself from this 'friend.'
 
#32
Thanks all so much for your advice, I'll let you know what I decide. In response to a few things- I'm pretty sure its a relatively large wedding- friends and family. She didn't try to explain to me why I wasn't invited, and if she'd just given me a reason why, I probably would have been ok with it. When I got the invite to the hen's night (yes, I'm Australian!), apparently she said that she's understand if I couldn't go. I think she knows that I was offended, and maybe this is her way of trying to make it better, but I'm concerned the whole night would be awkward. Anyway, I think I have a pretty legitamite reason apart from all this- I have exams this week for uni and I'm pretty tired.

Again, thanks everyone so much for your advice, it's good to know I'm not just being stupid for feeling uncomfortable about it!
 
#33
Why on earth would you be invited to a bachelorette party but not the wedding? That makes no sense. I wouldn't get upset, though, until asking her for an explanation. If she can only afford close family and friends, that is understandable.
 
#35
singerangel said:
Hi all,

This seems to be a good place to ask for advice, so here goes. A friend of mine (who I see once every few weeks) is getting married and I wasn't invited to the wedding. (This was after she was telling me all about her plans and how stressed she was) Naturally, I was offended. A couple of days ago, a hen's night invitation was passed on to me and I'm told that when she gave it to them, she looked kind of sheepish/ feeling bad about it.

The question is, should I go to the hen's night? I was really hurt by her not inviting me and I think it would be really uncomfortable to be there with everyone talking about wedding plans and what they're going to wear and such, when I'm not even invited. My mother thinks I should go, to show I'm still friends with her, but I'm really hurt about it and she obviously doesn't think of me as a close friend like I did her. Please help!

TIA!
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Id say no. You are hurt, and in a sense overlooked, so I don't think it's fair of you to come and dote on her if you were excluded. Typically if you aren't invited to the wedding you aren't going to the Bachelorette Party or Showers. She either doesn't know that bit of etiquette or didn't really realize that you were offended or hurt by being excluded after her going on and on about the plans for so long.

The fact though that she gave that "disclaimer" about not being offended if you don't come...that's just her polite way of saying "yea sorry I didn't feel like paying to feed you at my huge celebration, didn't realize that it would hurt you to be shown how little I value you as a friend even when you value me much more, here's your consolation prize, I don't actually expect you to come so don't feel to bad about it".

Not cool. Not cool at all...
 
#36
merika said:
Agree. I thought that most people were invited to the wedding whereas only a few people close to the bride were invited to the bachelorette party. It would be very funny if you just went to that and not to the wedding! And if it is such a low cost affair that she cannot invite you, how come she's issuing invites to a hen night?
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^ possibly bec the hen night she doesnt pay for, that is if this is about money issues. but generally, I agree with Merika and Lamiastella. you can still be friends, but obviously you aren't that close, so why go to the hen night?
 
#37
I doubt that I would go, but I think it would be good to talk to her or a mutual friend about it; planning a wedding is a lot of work and maybe things got a little crazy, and she could have very well not realized that she didn't invite you.
 
#38
IF your going to be more slighted by the mention of wedding plans than having a good time out with her and other friends than don't go. However, if you can seperate your own hurt and slight from that and go to support her and have a good time than by all means go.

But before you amke that decision you need to find the maturity within yourself to let go of your hurt and anger and to choose your option with the best feelings, love and intentions for this friend in your heart.
 
#39
If it was THE last event on earth I would still not go!! I really dislike rude people like this...

(unless she gives u a good reason then please disregard my last post...)lol
 
#40
I wouldn't go just because even if she does have a good reason not to invite you to the wedding, that still doesn't make up for her not inviting you herself to her Bachlorette party. If she had invited you herself then I think you should go but since she had another friend do it for her then why waste your time.. unless you have other friends going and just want to go to hang out with them then by all means go! LOL
 
#41
I would go

I had a reind who got married I went to college with her I found out she invited one friend to the whole wedding thing but only invited me to the reception yeah I was a bit upset about it BUT it turned out the other girl didn't turn up at all and she was really happy that I turned up even though it was the reception so if this girl is truely your friend you should turn up that's what friends do
 
#43
If I were in the same situation it would depend on my relationship and circumstances, but my initial reaction would be to not go! I feel like the bachelorette party should be treated the same way as a wedding shower.... you don't invite someone that isn't invited to the wedding.
 
#44
I think she invited you as a "consolation prize" for being left out of the wedding, reception, shower(s), etc. I wouldn't go if she doesn't consider you important enough to attend the other events, especially if she's having a large wedding.
 
#45
Something Similar A Few Years Ago......

One Of My Sorority Sisters (Who Is One My Dearest Friends) Was Throwing A Surprise Bachlorette Party For Another Sorority Sister (This Was Her 2nd Wedding ((Very Small ~ Parents & Siblings...A Couple Extra ~ Not Me & My Husband)), I Went To Everything For Her 1st Wedding ~ Which Was Really Large). I Hadn't Seen This Sorority Sister (Getting Married) In A Few Years (We Had A Lot Of Fun In School ~ But, Both Living Our Own Lives).....Anyways, My Dear Friend Who Was Throwing It Asked If I Would Go. I Went. We Were The Only Three From Our Sorority Days There. It Was A Blast. I Even Gave Her A Wedding Gift, @ The Dinner. She Was So Happy I Was There.....& We Stayed Close.

See I Went To So Many Different Things For Different People....Now That I Am A Little Older ~ I Definitely See Things Different. I Would Be Shocked If A Dear Friend Didn't Tell Me About A Wedding (Don't Worry, I Have A Couple Of Those Stories, Too!....Another Time!!!).....But, Kept, Talking About It.

If It Means A Lot To You, I Would Definitely Think About Asking About The Wedding.

You Have To Do What Is In Your:heart:......I'm Here If You Need To Talk!:flowers:
 
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