Should I get a new OB?

  1. I posted this question in another thread, but I think that I should start a new thread since it's essentially an independent and unrelated question:

    I am currently 26 weeks pregnant. I recently asked to have a discussion with my doctor about epidurals. My doctor asked me what I wanted to know about them. I asked her to give me the pros and cons. She sidesteped the question by saying that it's a philosophical debate. So, I proceeded to tell her the little I know about what epidurals. I was hoping she would correct any wrong info I may have. Instead she got very offended by some of my misinformation and told me to take a lamaze class to educate myself. Once I become more educated on the subject matter, I can have an educated discussion with her.

    I thought that that's what my doctor is for- educating me on medical matters? Is it right for her to expect me to be "educated" on medical matters before I talk to her? I am a lawyer, not a doctor. Why would she have this kind of expectation of me? DH found her tone to be quite condescending, and I was quite put off by her. Should I look for a new doctor? (I have to admit that I have no medical common sense what-so-ever. So she may have been frustrated by my lack of medical knowledge. Maybe it's more me than her?)
     
  2. It really depends how comfortable you feel switching doctors at this stage. Maybe check with your friends and family or call your insurance company for recomendations. You were not asking anything out of the ordinary; your OB is supposed to help you with information, Lamaze is great but I want my OB for information first. I switched Drs at 4 1/ months for insurance reasons, I had no problem switching over the records and ended up loving my new doctor. She delived my next baby too. Best of luck to you and congrats on your baby.
     
  3. If you are feeling dismissed, you should. I had to switch at about 16 weeks, I think? Since I am high risk and I had lost two pregnancies prior to this one, my doctor refused to give me good prenatal care until she felt the pregnancy was viable. I fired her and got myself a fantastic doctor who listens, and this pregnancy has been a lot less stressful. However, if this is your only issue with her, and everything else has been great, I would give her another chance. It's hard to find a good doctor anymore, and frankly, this fantastic doctor I have now was mine for 9 years(insurance just temporarily dropped him, and picked him back up when I was looking to fire her). At first he had the worst bedside manner ever, until he got comfortable around me. Turns out he was shy.
     
  4. I agree w/ LVMom:yes:
     
  5. I'm going through the same thing at the moment. I need more personal attention than what is given at my very busy OB office. I'm going to keep my doctor but make an appt. with another to see which I like more. Only problem, this new one is very good, but a little over an hour away... much longer in heavy traffic times. It's basically relying on what he says about the distance factor. But I wish you luck. If you feel uncomfortable, you should try out someone else. You may or may not like the other more, but at least you will get the reassurance that you need. It's your right.
     
  6. If this is the one and only issue that you've had with your doctor and you're happy with your care overall, I wouldn't switch. If you know absolutely nothing about what's going on with your body and what's going to happen in a few months, she may have been a bit frustrated.

    Before asking questions to my OB, I always tried to research a bit on my own and then talk to her about it, sharing what I learned through reading books and online articles and then she gave me her opinion and helped me find the right choice for me.
     
  7. Look, you have no obligation to know the pros and cons. Her job is to make sure you receive adequate care and whether she likes it or not, to educate you. Shop around. If you have friends in the area with a different doctor, see what they had to say. The last thing in the world you want is to feel uncomfortable asking questions or to have a bad experience when the little one arrives. Labor and delivery is tough to begin with, having an ob you don't like or trust is added stress you don't need.
     
  8. You should be able to trust your OB, if you feel doubts I'd say go shop around. But I also agree that if this is the only thing that's causing you doubts about your OB, give her another chance. I asked my OB about the use of epi and she said it's a very personal choice, remember to keep an open mind. But then she also told me she has 2 kids and she got 2 epis, so there you go, she was pretty open about her own personal experience which I like.

    I have high school friends who are doctors themselves and they used epi when they delivered. One of them said that most docs she knows didn't hesitate to use epi. Not to try to sway you one way or another but just to share with you what I heard.

    Good luck!
     
  9. If your doc makes you feel dismissed you should consider switching. Try having another conversation with her though since you are already 26 weeks.

    I just had to switch docs 2 weeks ago because I got no personal attention and I HATED IT! Pregnancy is stressful as it is w/o having to deal with extra nonsense from the person that is supposed to be helping you.
     
  10. i think that so many parents have differing opinions on epidurals, that the doctors try to let them educate themselves on the pros and cons

    otherwise they could get into some very heated discussion, i think they are reluctant to tell you which way to go

    if you are comfortable in other ways, i would stay the course
     
  11. Wow! I would be pretty peeved by that actually. Where are her manners? to be honest, for me, I would switch. It's one thing if she doesn't want to influence your decision, and it's something else if her tone was condescending and seemed rude.
     
  12. SWITCH!! It's not too late. Your doctor should always make you feel comfortable. DH is a doctor, and he says that it doesn't matter how busy he is, he is in a service industry, and that is what should be provided. It may seem daunting now, but you'll be glad you did it.

    Good luck!
     
  13. [quote=Silvia;3828671]Look, you have no obligation to know the pros and cons. Her job is to make sure you receive adequate care and whether she likes it or not, to educate you. Shop around. If you have friends in the area with a different doctor, see what they had to say. The last thing in the world you want is to feel uncomfortable asking questions or to have a bad experience when the little one arrives. Labor and delivery is tough to begin with, having an ob you don't like or trust is added stress you don't need.[/quote]

    First of all, I totally agree with Silvia^^:yes:

    A good ob should not only be someone who is well experienced & good at what they are doing, but he/she should be reliable and comfortable with for their patients.

    So it doesn't hurt to just starts looking around for any recommended ob who is available to take you at this stage now(I know I would if I were you). Cos you'll never know..you might just be lucky.

    But don't get too stress if you don't. Just take it as it's hard to find one perfect ob..;)
    Take care. :smile:
     
  14. i think that if you're not happy with your doctor, then maybe you might want to look around for another one that you feel comfortable with and trust. it's hard to find the perfect doctor, but i think it's wrong for a doctor to be condescending.
     
  15. WTF!! I would look for someone that makes me feel comfortable enough and answers all my questions with no doubt.