should i be pissed? i think i should...

  1. hey you guys, i need some feedback about a situation i found myself in last night.

    one of my coworkers has been saying that she wants to 'take me out for my birthday' for about a month now (my birthday was in decemeber). i don't really like this girl - i won't go in to it, but she has a lot of significant personality flaws, and most people at work avoid her. she thinks, for some reason, that i'm her best friend, which is more than a little irritating, but i try to be nice to her because hey, everyone needs someone to be nice to them.

    so after some prodding, i agreed earlier this week to let her take me out last night. she tells me to call her after dinner, so i call her about 9:30 and ask her where her and i are meeting up and when. well, turns out it's not just us, it's us and her boyfriend and her other male friend. i thought that was a little odd, since it was supposed to be for my birthday and neither of them know me AT ALL, but whatever. i get there and offer to drive us downtown because i have the biggest car, they all already smell like beer, and parking spots are HARD to come by. i figured, naturally, that she had been telling me it was for my birthday that her or one of them would stay sober and drive my car home.

    so we head to the first bar and order a drink without so much as an offer to buy me one. she stood right next to me while i ordered and paid, and then as soon as i got my change back, she was like 'awww i was totally going to buy that for you!" ....then why did you just stand there and listen to the girl tell me how much it was, not move, and after sort of an uncomfortable pause while i was waiting for you to chime in, WATCH me pay for it?

    the other two drinks i had i didn't even bother thinking she was going to pay for. not after that performance. and i only had two others because it quickly became apparent that the three STOOGES i was with were all going to get completely trashed and we would have no one to drive us home.

    to try to shorten this up, they were also very rude to an old friend that i ran into that wanted to have a drink with me, they complained about going to a bar that i really wanted to go to to get ONE drink, the girl and her boyfriend were making out for half the night, and the extra guy she brought along was WAY older than any of us, was obviously staring at girls that were way to young for him, and half the time was leering at me. they *****ed because i wanted to stop drinking and get some food so i could be sober to drive home, no one offered to pay for me meal (which is fairly customary for the DD around here), when i got out of the restaurant they complained because i wouldn't let them go back to the bars to drink for the last 15 minutes that they were serving, and one of them blew smoke into my car (i have a very strict no smoking rule) when we were getting in to leave. i almost dropped that little twit right there, and if my car smells like smoke this morning, i will track him down and drop him.

    oh, and at the fairly crowded restaurant, the two guys were LOUDLY yelling about various inappropriate sexual things and getting looks from the people at other tables. i tried to be nice and not *****y all night, because then i wouldn't look like the bad guy, but i finally told them to quiet down because they were bothering people.

    there were a few other little things, but that was the jist of the night. i drove their rears around, i paid for my own drinks and food, and i basically babysat them. and she was telling me the entire time that it was for my birthday. i wouldn't have gone if i knew that i would be paying for everything, because i can't afford it right now.

    am i right to be pissed? or am i overreacting? i'm seriously ready to not be the person that's nice to this girl anymore.

    i have to see her at work in two hours and i'm ready to eat her alive (although i obviously won't make a scene at work), so any advice on how to handle this would be appreciated.
     
  2. Tell her that you didn't expect the night to turn out the way it did. If she asks why, you could tell her that you didn't know it was her+all the guys you didn't know, and you didn't enjoy it very mcuh.

    She might tell other people that you were not appreciative enough when she 'asked you out for your birthday', though.


    However, as you won't miss her friendship, who cares??
     
  3. I would be mad too.. Frankly, I would have left their asses at the bar & drove myself home. They could get a cab to get themselves home.

    If she asks about it today, I would just be honest & say that you didn't appreciate everyone getting drunk & having you pay for everything when the night was supposed to be for you. At least now maybe she won't ask you to do anything anymore!
     
  4. She sounds like a complete idiot. You tried to be nice to her and the other Stooges (too funny!) but they're all clowns.

    At work, I would speak and keep moving. She's a waste of time.
     
  5. I'd be very upset, too. She had no consideration for your feelings, and basically used you as a chauffeur. I don't think I'd ever go out with her again, and only be cordial to her at work. She doesn't sound like she knows how to be a friend, to self-centered.
     
  6. It seems to me like they made it be more their night than one that's supposed to be about your birthday.

    Yeah, I'd be pissed off, too.


    When you see her, just very politely thank her for the evening, but honestly tell her what bothered you.
     
  7. I would want to drop her on her head. Say thanks and leave it at that. No sense in trying to talk to someone who won't listen and you know you will never go out with her again.
     
  8. Oh, I'd be pissed too! I wouldn't even waste my time with her at work. If you run into her, nod and move on.
     
  9. Hell yeah you should be pissed.

    As far as how you should handle work. I'd pretty much ignore her. If she taks to you, give very short answers and don't go into much detail. Then find a reason to walk away. After a couple of weeks of that, I'm sure she'll get the hint.
     
  10. That would make me pissed too. I'd probably ignore her too, like Charles said, that's just how I am in those situations. If she starts getting annoying and doesn't take the whole ignoring/don't want to talk hint, tell her that it wasn't what you expected and you really didn't appreciate having to be teh DD when it was supposed to be a celebration of your bday. I'm surprised you held out the entire night, i totally would've left early and let them find their own rides home. Sorry you had to put up with them!
     
  11. What a nightmare.
     
  12. I do agree with Charles... just ignore her as much as possible... You behaved like a lady, it's just incredible what she (they) did to you :cursing:

    Just let go, don't waste your energy and IGNORE HER from now on!!!
     
  13. It's no wonder most people at your work avoid her. I would have been SO pissed, especially as you went out of your way to be nice to her.

    If she asks, just say the evening was okay, but you drove and spent a bit more than you expected to....

    And moving forward, be polite but no need to be more than that. Treat her as you would any other co-worker you aren't too friendly with.

    Let us know how it turns out.
     
  14. WOW....Id tell her exactly what a loser she is..first of all..THEN avoid her like the plague.THEN id spend the rest of my days giving her my famous evil eye..LOL
     
  15. I would tell EVERYBODY at work what happened