sexually assaulted

  1. Yesterday I experienced the most scary thing in my life ever. I went to Amsterdam with my mother to buy her a bag for her 50th birthday. We were passing a very crowded part of the city and walked to a jeweller to check out their Bvlgari stuff in the window. When we were about to walk away this guy walked up to us, almost knocking over my mother when he grabbed me in the crotch. I was shocked and hit him in the face with my Fendi spy, which obviously wasn't heavy enough since he wasn't really reacting. We ran but he came after us, pushing me to the window of the shop, rubbing against me and screaming 'I want to **** you', in English (I think he was Italian or something). My mother beat him like craze with her paddington bag, which, even with the huge padlock, wasn't heavy enough to make him go away either. Now I've had breast implants 3 weeks ago (afther having thought about it for 3 years - this was not a Pamela Anderson-type thing, I just wanted to feel like a woman after having been completely flat for 20 years). My mother of course was very afraid he'd grab me there and something would go wrong. Luckily I wasn't hurt too bad, but this guy just wouldn't back off. It looked like he was on drugs or something (which, insanely enough, is quite legal here in the Netherlands). The scariest part was that this happened in the middle of the day (about 3 pm) and there were hundreds op people on the street, passing us by, hearing me scream and just walking on! I felt so powerles. After what felt like hours, but really only lasted 10 minutes max., we got away by running into the jeweller store (after having had to knock on the door for what felt like another hour or so). They locked the door and my attacker ran off. The SAs inside gave us some water, my mother cried and I was really to upset to do anything but sit there. The SAs did not want to call the police since they thought it wouldn't help anyway, and I don't really think they understood what had happened, since a female SA asked me several times wether he wasn't after our bags because they were very expensive. I told her it was sexual and that he'd had several chances to grab our bags, but she reacted a bit weird. Finally we left and went to my father who works just around the corner.

    The worst part is that I'm starting work (holiday work) monday the 16th and it's like 5 minutes from that place. I'm going to be there every day for the next 2 months, but I'm scared. I've just moved out of my parents house to live closer to university (in Leiden, the Netherlands). Luckily I'm at home with my parents now for summer vacation, but I'm a bit scared to go back to my own place now. I don't know what to do or how to react when it happens again. Have any of you ladies out there had the same experience? Do you carry a weapon of some kind (like pepperspray)? I'm still a virgin and I have no experience with men whatsoever; I'd more or less waited for mr. right to come along before I'd let someone touch my private parts. I feel awful and dirty, what can I do to get my confidence back? Please help! :crybaby:
  2. File the police report! Have a male family member escort you to work for awhile if this is possible. Take care, God Bless. So very sorry this happened to you. By the way it is not your fault that this person is deranged. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!
  3. Go straight to the police and file a report. I'm very sorry this has happened to you.
  4. My GOSH! How terrifying was that?! I can't believe (well, I can too...) that this happened in broad daylight with so many people around and that NO ONE even tried to help out!!

    Honestly, I would never again walk in that area without pepper spray in my hand, with your finger on the sprayer. I'm hoping this was some random crazy who will soon be locked away, but I'd be ready...just in case. There are nuts everywhere, but you've been attached in that particular area once now and you can be a little more prepared in the future. I know this must have scared you witless, and I am so sorry.
  5. Oh my goodness, Gracie. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I agree with Purse, do file a police report. Do you remember what the man looked like? Even if you think it might not help your situation, you will be able to help somebody else who may later be attacked by this guy by filing a report with his details and stating that he has done this before.

    Please don't feel like this is your fault, because it's not.
  6. POLICE!

    I have had a few scary encounters - one entailing a guy trying to get into my flat in the middle of the night (NEVER EVER live on the ground floor as a single gal!!!!!), and I have called the police (it didn't help one bit bec I didn't have the guts to pull the curtains away but at least I reported it). another was a guy attacking a friend of mine and me in public transport in front of loads of people - I know what you are saying: it is scary, especially as there were grown men who didn't help us. if it has taught me one thing: you have to look out for yourself always.

    you are in a shock situation right now, especially as you felt safe around you. from my experience, you will be looking over your shoulder constantly for the next few months - I am not saying this to scare you but to tell you what most likely will happen so you don't think you are losing it. it took me years to switch off TV and light when I was staying by myself in a flat/house for sleeping at night, and nothing had really happened. (the only funny part of that story: I had watched a US police show that night and US and UK police numbers are quite similar... still, I hit the wrong number in my scare and of course couldn't reach anyone....)

    the problem is the feeling of powerlessness - I understand. but always know: you are NOT powerless, you were just unprepared - i.e. you did not expect that. I am not suggesting to arm yourself or anything like that (ok pepper spray maybe), what I mean is: when you know this can happen you will be far more assertive and he might be scared away next time. having said that: if he was on drugs....

    this is not an excuse or anything but the problem is that foreigners that come to amsterdam think anything is fair game. this is wrong and BS of course but they probably haven't ever experienced anything like coffee shops and amsterdam red light district in the middle of the day, so they think anything goes.

    I am sending you big hugs - if you find yourself very scared and afraid to go outside: please go see someone. you may experience post-traumatic stress etc and it is very difficult to manage that by yourself.

    (Sorry for the long post)
  7. That is disgusting I´m so sorry. File the report.
  8. Thank you all for your kind replies, I'll go see the police this afternoon when my mother gets home from work. I think they can get me some sort of victim help or something, so I can talk to someone and perhaps get some help and advice on how react next time. I'm sure there will be a next time, my aunt works in the centre of Amsterdam at a hotel and is assaulted all the time. She's just called to say she got me some pepperspray! That will make me feel a bit more secure I hope...
  9. So sorry to hear that, tell the police! Hugs to you!x
  10. I hope you'll be ok. =) Contact the police like others mentioned. :smile:
  11. Wow that's awful :tdown: I'm so sorry to hear it.

    I'd never have expected that in Amsterdam, it seemed so laid back to me

    I'm so sorry to hear this happen to you, i live in the center of amsterdam, may i ask you were did it happend? i advice to go to the police and file a report. pepperspray is ilegal in holland the best is to carry a small deodorant spray and works the same (adivce from a police friend of mine)
    please dont feel afraid.... i know is dificult but dont let this MotherF**** to ruin your stay in the netherlands.
    *** HUGHS ***
  13. oh my god i am so sorry you had to go through that! That is shocking and scary. Good thing you were with your mum and not on your own. i hope you are ok xxx
  14. SweetDutchGirl - it happened at the big jeweller at de Dam opposite de Bijenkorf! I live in Abcoude and have been visiting Amsterdam frequently since I was very young. This has never happenen to me either, but my aunt says it happens more often than we like to think. So you too be careful! Now about the pepperspray - I know it's illegal, but what else can you do? I guess deodorant works and probaly does scare some people (when they're not on drugs or alcohol). I've ordered a rape-alarm, which produces an incredibly irritating noise of over 100 decibel. That'll get me some attention in the future!

    ILoveMyBug - I guess it happened just because Amsterdam is so laid back. Tourists who have never used drugs before try it in Amsterdam and they think all Dutch women are sluts or something. Add that to the fact that most insane things are alowed in Amsterdam and you get this kind of result...

    Thank you all for being so sweet! I feel a lot better now :smile:
  15. Yep I suppose that's true! I've only been twice so far, once I was in a big group from work and the second time I was with my 6ft4 SO. We're planning on going again soon and I had thought about spending some time on my own doing the shops, not quite so sure about that now though.
    I hope you continue to feel stronger :smile: