Settling the check at group dinners...?

  1. I love eating out with friends, and we usually split the bill by the # of people at the end of the meal. (I've found that when everyone itemizes, we always end up short, so splitting it evenly seems to be the easiest.) This was may be the easiest but I feel like I end up subsidizing everyone else's food...I typically have one glass of wine (any more than that and I wake up feeling like crap) whereas everyone else will have 2 or 3drinks. I don't get appetizers or dessert because I'm trying to keep the volume/calories in check, but everyone else gets an appetizer/salad and then there's usually a few desserts to go around at the end, plus coffee or whatever. The restaurants we go to are in the $30/entree, $10/appetizer, $12/glass of wine, $8/dessert range so it's not cheap. I have never said anything about this but I'm starting to get really annoyed by this...should I just suggest cheaper places? Suck it up as the price of spending time with friends?
     
  2. It takes juggling on the part of your server but could you suggest separate checks for everyone next time? When I dine out with my friends, we always tell the server at the beginning (while we order) that we want separate checks. We all only pay for what we order.
     
  3. I always have them split the check. I refuse to pay for other peoples dinner unless it was stated before dinner that I would pay.
     
  4. my friends and i do split evenly or separate checks. we do the separate checks on more expensive places or if we have a lot of drinks. i try not to get annoyed by covering more than what seems my share. i like to think of it as it'll eventually even out amongst my friends.
     
  5. I used to be quiet about this sort of thing; the folks who order the appetizers and lots of drinks are happy to have the bill split evenly but it isn't fair to those who don't place big orders. Now I speak up and say that it isn't fair to me to subsidize other's orders.
    I feel like my true friends will understand; those who don't like it don't have my best interests at heart anyways.
     
  6. I think it depends how many you are !! If we are 10 +, we split otherwise we are also always too short !
    But since we are rarely more than 6, we pay for what we had, that is possible to keep track of. And since we usually have bottles of wines, we divide that per who had wine.
    Otherwise I agree it´s not fair, do you feel you have girlfriends who might feel the same ?
    Also I don´t know how it is in US, but what we do we all pay by credit card, sometimes the waitress writes off the bill as we say what we had.
     
  7. Ask to have the check split. I serve at a restaurant with similar prices, and it's not a big deal to me when people ask. I'd just make sure to mention it at the beginning of the meal
     
  8. this works best for me, as well. it's best to tell the server at the beginning of the meal so that she is able to enter everything in separately and keep track of who gets what throughout the meal. this saves the server and everyone else the time and trouble of trying to itemize the bill after the dinner. and forget trying to gather the total amount separately from everyone. it's always short b/c people don't account for tax and tip. i think it's easiest for everyone to handle their own bill.
     
  9. That's good to know, I always thought waiters/waitresses hated to split bills so I was reluctant to ask (but maybe it's just a hassle when it's a big group or when people ask to split after the fact?)

    I guess I've also been reluctant to ask to split the bill because I didn't want to look like the only tightwad at the table. But I am a tightwad (hey, how else am I gonna save up to buy all these bags?!) so I shouldn't feel bad about that :p
     
  10. The girls that are ordering all the apps, drinks etc. should have the class to throw in more money than the ones who didn't. But I guess if they don't then seperate checks is the way to go.
     
  11. Sometimes most restaurants won't let you have separate checks. I gather you would have to itemize the bill for the whole entire table and let everyone else know how much they owe including tip.. you'd have to break out the calculator.
     
  12. I hate when that happens too. Usually I'll say something, especially when I'm one of the people that ordered more expensive things. I wouldn't let my friends pay more because of me. What you can do if you don't want to look like the cheap one at the table, is tell your friends at the beginning that you're getting a separate check because you're paying with debit card. Then ask them if they all want separate checks, or if you should just get your own check. 99% of the time everyone will agree on separate checks, and if you eat with the same people all the time then this will become the norm. I do this if I'm going to eat with people that I don't know very well. With my closest friends we always agree to just pay for what we had.
     
  13. I try to get a separate check when it's a large group of people because of the reasons everyone mentioned before (itemizing always ends up short, mainly). Unless of course, I'm buying.. but I don't usually invite more than 2 people.
     
  14. I hate this stuff lol.

    For me it really depends on the friends, and what we ordered. If we are splitting alot food, unless one person drank alot more, then we usually split it. But if one person ordered something significantly more expensive than everyone else then we all pay for what we ordered. It also depends on the friend im with, some people always split and some people always pay for their own.

    What really bothers me is when I'm on a date. In my culture it is more common for the guy to pay, but in the country that I live and thus date the men in, it is more common to go dutch. So what usually happens is each person tries to conform to the others culture, I insist to pay for my own and he will insist to pay for me. And it's always awkward.
     
  15. I hear you!! Im a vegetarian, and my meals are always at least £10 / $20 cheaper than my friends, but i always have to pay extra! It does annoy me tbh!
    I think I may start saying, i will just pay for my own meal, i dont really like the idea of someone else's meat, if it was extra veg then I wouldn't care! Lol xx