scary/very sad situation ..advice?

  1. ladies and gents i need some MAJOR advice. i just got a phone call from my dad telling me to get dressed we're going over to my older brothers house. im like ok, why? it turns out my brothers wife was just raped.

    this is my biggest fear in life...what do i say to her. do i act like i know what happened. i feel worse for my 12 year old niece ( her daughter) this is such a tough situation and i get all nervous even typing about it. this has always been my biggest fear and now its hit extremely close to home. i know its most important to be very supportive and understanding (believe me i do) but im really scared to see how shes holding up ...help:heart:

    im sure my brother's reaction is to hunt down and kill whoever this was. i just hope they were smart about it and contacted the police ASAP. :amazed:

    ill be on in a couple hours to see what you guys have to say. thank you guys for listening. it means alot
     
  2. OMG..I am so sorry.Just be there to support them.Let us know how she is..AND AGAIN,,I am so sorry for her.
     
  3. Wow, that's horrible. Like Jill said, be there to support her. I hope they find that horrible person.
     
  4. OMG, that is HORRIBLE!!!!!! :crybaby: I'm so sorry for your sister-in-law!!! What happened - did it happen at her home or was she out somewhere? How scary and sad!!!!

    wow, I don't know what to say...it's so horrible. I'm sure everyone is really scared and nervous about how to approach her. I would try to be calm and definitely supportive and try not to let your nervousness show. She's probably gonna need lots of hugs and shoulders to cry on. Have they told your niece what happened? She might not know or understand, and maybe her parents would appreciate help caring for her, too.

    all the best to her, you and your family to support each other...and hopefully they'll catch and castrate the mother:censor: who did this!!!! may he fry in hell!!!!!:rant: :rant:
     
  5. OMG how awful!! My heart goes out to your sister-in-law and your whole family :sad: I think it's hard knowing what to say in those type of situations, so don't feel obligated to say something profound. I would just give her a hug, offer to help her around the house or with errands, and just let her know that I'm there for her if she needs anything.

    Just make sure she knows that you all still love her no matter what. A lot of rape victims blame themselves for what happened and they need to know that you don't think differently of them and will be there to support them through the ordeal.
     
  6. That is shocking!!! Is she okay (physically)? Was it a random attack?
     
  7. Wow. I'm so sorry. Just be there and listen and give hugs. Your unwavering support may just be the rock the family needs right now. Stay strong and let us know how you're doing.
     
  8. That's terrible - my thoughts are with your family. I would just try to be there as much as I could, especially for your sister in law and your niece.
     
  9. My thoughts are with your family. :sad:

    I volunteer with a Domestic Abuse Organization and Women's Assault Organization, I would be happy to get any pamplets sent to you and also help if you need to find a free counseling service in your State/Area.
     
  10. thanks ladies. im heading out now. im sure on the ride over my dad will fill me in. i know they were out of town for the fourth im pretty sure it happened in Ocala during the holiday. definately a stranger to the family. ill fill you all in in a couple of hours.
     
  11. I am so sorry to hear this- it is awful. It will be hard on you and stressful and upsetting, but your SIL and brother need you there for support- they desperately do need you. Just be there for her and your brother and neice the best you can. Let us know if you need anything from us. I hope she is ok- and her family- and you all.
     
  12. OMG. I think all you can do is be there for her with a shoulder, an ear, and an open heart. I can't even comprehend what she's going through. I'm so sorry.
     
  13. Omg this is an awful situation, youve just got to be so supportive towards her and be there 24/7 if she needs you.

    This happend to a friend of mine *best friend at the time* a few years ago when she was 15, its so awkwar you have no idea what to say or do and she just kept braking down all the time, its soo upsetting because you cant stop it hurting them. It got worse when the police dropped her case because he gave her a false name, age etc... and then she saw him a few times in the city and just fainted.

    Big hugs, and all our wishes to your SIL.

    Hannah xx
     
  14. My first thought...do things that can help your SIL and brother.

    For example...can you cook? Make some food that you can take over to make things easier on her. Make extra and stuff her freezer. Pop over for a visit and do a little quick cleaning...like the bathrooms,kitchen etc. One big thing would be to pick up your neice and spend time with her. Take her out (if you drive) or spend time at home with her.

    All of this will show them how much you care and how you love them all. I say do as much as you can to make it easy on your SIL...eventually, she will talk more with you to help get through it.

    If you can...maybe buy her a small present that would mean something to her. Just express your love in as many ways as you can.
     
  15. I am so sorry. I can't even imagine what your sister in law is going through. Just be there to support her and let her know it's not her fault. Being raped is such a huge fear of mine.