Roommate situation (advice needed)

[blue_green]

I need some advice concerning my roommate situation.

I wanted to live in a 2 bedroom apartment this year, and decided to live with a friend of mine from undergrad. I did the apt hunting and she signed onto the lease, under the assumption that she would live with me for 1 year (while she took a year off and volunteered w/ a public service organization) and then she would go to law school... and I would get a cat (she's allergic) and stay in the apartment.

Our lease ends May 31, and I think her program runs through mid July. We never really talked about what would happen, but I can vaguely remember a few things we might have discussed casually in the beginning. Assuming I would be going home for the summer, there was the possibility of her saying the summer in the apt (and us splitting the rent) or if I decided to leave, she might try to negotiate an extension to the lease for an extra 2 months (which she'd pay herself I guess?) We never really finalized anything, or discussed what would happen if I found a new roommate who needed to stay for the summer, or what would happen if landlord wouldnt rent on a monthly basis.

She's also in the middle of the law school app process and has not heard from any schools, so we don't know if she will be staying in town or moving out of state.

Fastforward to now - I have a roommate lined up for next year (my bf of 5 years, but don't want to make an issue out of that) and it turns out I will be in town this summer. Ideally I'd like to stay in my apartment and have my bf move in when his lease ends at the end of may. However, it gets complicated because I don't know what will happen with roomie.

These are our options:

Roomie stays in town for law school:

- roomie ideally moves into a new apartment in June when our lease has ended, we all live happily ever after and bf moves into the apt when his lease ends and signs a new lease with me

Roomie moves out of town for law school:

- I sign a new lease on our apt, let roomie stay past the end of our lease and BF finds somewhere else to be for the summer and moves in when she leaves (probably not an option as BF would be signing onto the new lease and would want to live there, and that was part of the appeal of staying in town this summer)?

- I sign a new lease on our apt, let roomie stay past the end of our lease and BF moves into my bedroom which we'd share for the summer until roomie moves out

- I sign a new lease on our apt, roomie subleases a place for the summer, and bf moves in when his lease ends

- bf and I find a new apartment (boo) and roomie subleases an apt or tries to negotiate staying an extra 2 months and pays the full rent of our 2 bedroom apt herself?


I realize now we should have talked all of this out beforehand, but what was she expecting me to do with regard to finding a new roomie? if my new roomie needed to be in town for the summer, where else would they go? our lease DOES end may 31....

i also dont know when its appropriate to bring this up. should i wait until we know where she is going for law school? that could be another 2 months, and i kind of want to know if ill need to go apt hunting...

what do you think i should do?

 

[decocritter]

Are you in a tough apartment market? What City?

It sounds as though you were expected to find a new room mate or both leave at the end of May. I think that needs to be discussed. You may need a coin toss if it is a great apartment.

This is sticky. You won't know till you have more facts.

 

[decocritter]

You are also better off being honest with her. Lay it all out on the table. Let her know you want it to work out for all.

It is understandable that someone with a 5 year relationship would want to go on with that, over a room mate arrangement. Part of growing up.

It depends on how good of a friend she is. And how serious of a boyfriend he is.

 

[blue_green]

Well the way we planned things when she signed onto the lease was that I would stay in the apartment (since I have 2 more years of school left) - and that's how we planned furniture purchases and stuff when we split up what we each would bring. It was assumed that I would find a new roommate for the next year, but we didn't really address what would happen if the new roommate needed the apartment before July 15.

What makes it complicated is that our lease ends May 31, so if I don't sign on to keep the apartment next year it's likely that she'll have to move out and sublease for the summer anyway, unless she wants to pay full rent for the summer and the landlord is willing to let her do that.

I wish her program ended at the end of May.. it would make things so much easier!

So the general consensus is that I should bring this up soon, and not wait to see where she gets into for law school?

 

[mshel]

You just have to sit down and have a talk w/her so you can eliminate a lot of 'what if's' and...stress? Aren't you feeling stress from all this? TAlk it all out then go from there. (If she stayed for awhile and bf moved in, could you make it work for all of you and split rent 3 ways...or is money not an incentive/issue/problem?)

 

[blue_green]

If bf moved in for those 2 months it could be OK - he sleeps over here sometimes as it is. (it's a 2 bedroom/2 bath apartment). However, I don't know if she'd want to do that and it gets complicated because my bf has a lot of stuff (5 guitars, 2 amps, a keyboard, a large fishtank, a desk) and it certainly wouldn't fit in my room and I'm not sure where we'd put all of it!

Also, we were hoping to get a kitten this summer and roomie is allergic.

I guess we can always look for another apt, but it was so stressful last time and I don't want to deal with that during finals. I'm afraid that if I moved out it would put roomie in just as bad of a situation (paying double rent or having to sublease anyway) but once our lease ends I'm not really under any duty to sign a new yearly lease just so she can stay for the summer and pay half rent....

agh

 

[Blue824]

Basically, you just need to talk to her and be honest about it. Tell her that your bf asked you to live with him and you think that'd be a great idea and then ask her if she knows what her plans are for the summer. Even if the conversation is awkward, you're going to have to do it eventually. Since you're the one on the lease, you'd have the choice to stay there. If she really likes the bldg, she can maybe see if another unit in the bldg is available. I think the bf moving in could be awkward and more stressful... it is one thing when the bf is spending occasional nights over, but different when he's part of the dynamic. I think a lot of your stress will be relieved once you talk to her and just get everything out!

 

[blue_green]

Update - I casually brought things up with my roommate today, just mentioning how I just realized lately that we never really resolved how things were going to work out for this summer, and asking what she was thinking. She also hadn't really given it much thought and had been assuming that I would renew the lease, that she would stay for the summer and then I'd have a new roommate move in after she leaves, not realizing that almost all of the leases around here end May, with a few in June, and that a future roomie would need somewhere to go for the summer as well.

I mentioned that I had been in talks with a few friends, all whose leases ended in May and would need a place to move their stuff for the summer, and that as of right now I'm planning to live with my bf next year, and his lease ends in May too.

I said I was hoping to stay in the same apt bc with finals and stuff (as a first year law student) I really wouldnt want to have to deal w/ apt hunting and moving at that stressful time, but that I wanted to try to figure things out early in case I did need to look at other apts. I also said that I was worried about what would happen if I did find a new place, because then she'd either have to pay full rent + full utilities for our apt for the summer if my landlord would even let her rent it on a monthly basis, or sublet for the summer anyway. I also mentioned that my friend (in the building next door) is looking to sublease her 1 bedroom apartment for the summer, which might be an option.

We didn't really address anything too deeply, but hopefully at least she's thinking about things now.

It would be great if she could sublease the apartment next door - my friend would be thrilled to have someone nice and responsible (and would give her a really good deal), the apartment is fully furnished with utilities included, my roommate could continue to use our gated lot (which opens up to that building as well) and we could help her move. Of course, if my roomie decides to go to law school in town next year this is all moot (and she could move right into her new apt) but we wont know until the end of April (finals week) - and I dont need to be stressing about housing on top of exams.

I reaaaaaaaaaaaally dont want to move, and my bf doesnt want to sublease a place for the summer because he'll be working full time and has a lot of stuff that's difficult to move (a giant fish tank, a bunch of musical equipment, etc)

If you were in my roommate's situation what would you think is fair?

 

[teemmmbee]

oh god I was in that exact situation like 7 years ago! It was my apartment to begin with though, she was never on the lease. I had a 2 bdrm and put an ad in the paper for a roomie. She answered along with about 20 other girls and I ended up picking her. So DH and I start dating and he spends the night alot, she travels alot for work so she's hardly there. Then comes the point when DH and I decide to live together. We approach her about her moving out (since she was never on the lease) and all HELL breaks loose!

This is a very touchy subject and must be approached delicately. It seems like you kinda gave her some great options. Let her mull them over for about a week then sit down and make a final decision.

BTW, DH and I ended up getting our own place in another city (boo hoo) and I signed the lease over to her. But it was better in the end. We got a 1 bdrm with air cond and central heat for $200 more than the 2 bdrm HOLE we had at the beach w/NO AIR AND NO CENTRAL HEAT, just one of those wall heaters.

But we did miss the beach!

 

[blue_green]

oh god I was in that exact situation like 7 years ago! It was my apartment to begin with though, she was never on the lease. I had a 2 bdrm and put an ad in the paper for a roomie. She answered along with about 20 other girls and I ended up picking her. So DH and I start dating and he spends the night alot, she travels alot for work so she's hardly there. Then comes the point when DH and I decide to live together. We approach her about her moving out (since she was never on the lease) and all HELL breaks loose!

This is a very touchy subject and must be approached delicately. It seems like you kinda gave her some great options. Let her mull them over for about a week then sit down and make a final decision.

BTW, DH and I ended up getting our own place in another city (boo hoo) and I signed the lease over to her. But it was better in the end. We got a 1 bdrm with air cond and central heat for $200 more than the 2 bdrm HOLE we had at the beach w/NO AIR AND NO CENTRAL HEAT, just one of those wall heaters.

But we did miss the beach!

How did things work out? Our situation is a little different since she is on the lease, but since I did the apartment hunting and I signed the lease before she agreed to move in (and since I knew I'd be here for 3 years while she said she would only be here for one) we both considered it to be "my" apartment.

We're also not trying to kick her out before the lease ends, we just want to sign a new lease when this one expires. She doesn't want to sign a new lease - she doesn't even know if she's going to be in town, but she was hoping to be able to stay past when our lease runs out.

I really hope she thinks the sublease thing is a good idea - it will help out my friend who really wants to sublease (she's taking a non-paying internship in another state for the summer, so if she doesn't sublease she's throwing money down the drain, plus, she's scared about subleasing to a total stranger), it would work out really well for me and my bf, and i think it would hopefully be ok for my roommate too (it's just the building next door, fully furnished, utilities included, she could keep parking in our lot, we'd move all of her crap, and it would be cheaper than our current rent)

Plus, she only will need june/july, and we start classes again in august so my friend would be coming back early/mid aug, so it works out well.

do you think its unreasonable to hope that my roomie would take the sublease? moving is a pain, but she'd be moving again anyway and she could either leave some stuff in our apartment and just use the fully furnished sublease, or she can put some stuff in our apt storage, or just move twice..

 

[queen]

get something down in writing with the bf before you make a lease with him. just in case problems come up you both are protected if you have a plan. it will be more difficult dealing with that if it comes up than this situation with your roomie.

 

[blue_green]

Haha I'm a law student and I will be sure to cover my ass - we've been together a while and I don't anticipate any problems, but I will make sure to have him sign that I get the apartment if we can't live together, etc.