Regarding Teenagers....Safe Sex or Abstinence??

#16
My parents never really taught me about sex. (As it is with the 'how babies are made' question, they gave me books, told me to read them and they'll answer any questions.)

I think parents need to teach kids that sex isn't bad. It's just important to find the right person. (So I'd say both: abstinence as well as safe sex.)

My parents never sat me down and said, "It's REALLY important to us that you wait until marriage." But I do remember, when those stories come up on the news where teenage girls have babies and abandon them, my dad felt the need to say that should I find myself in a situation like that, to not turn to anything that extreme as the girls on the news. That they'd support me and help me. (It was weird of him at the time to say that, but it was sweet of him to point that out.)

Funny story: My dad was driving me back to college after Thanksgiving. It was my freshman year. The car was dead quiet and all of a sudden, he goes, "Speaking of sexually transmitted diseases . . . " I said, "Daddy, thanks for the thought but I've had sex ed in both my freshman and junior years of high school. But thanks anyway."

I'm waiting, but not necessarily until marriage. I just don't believe in one night stands. (And I want my first time to be something other than awkward fumbling. If I wanted that, I could've had sex in high school.)
 
#17
Safe sex because no matter how hard you try to teach abstinence, there is always a chance that it won't happen and something could go wrong.

Better to err on the side of caution than to pretend that your advice will always be taken.
 
#18
The way my parents taught me was to abstain. That came with religion and school. But my mom also talked to us about it- about the dangers and risks of sex (pregnancy at the wrong time, STDs, etc) so I really got the best of both worlds. My mom was amazing talking to us about it all and understanding how teenagers work.

I will approach it as the same way as my mom. I think if you chose to teach abstinence you can not leave out information about sex etc. I still remember my mom telling me one time, "I prefer you wait until marriage, but if you are going to do it, I want you to be pretected and aware of what is out there"
 
#19
kathyrose said:
Mine never talked to me about it but we don't really talk about it in my culture. Taboo. So it depends I think.
Click to expand...

Mine too!:P But I think it's best to first teach abstinence when they're young and then later on introduce them on the importance of having safe sex when you feel they are in that stage. I mean, we've all been teenagers before. :P

We have to be realistic that most, not all, teens will go through a stage of curiousity and do have sex either out of situation, curiosity etc. A guy pal of mine, his mother always told him when he turned 15:

"Whatever you do out there, remember 2 things:
1. Always use condoms
2. Don't leave a bun in the oven "

I thought that was cool of her. :roflmfao:
 
#20
I taught my daughters both. I also told them that if they DID want to have sex, to talk with me first about safety, contraception, etc.

I'm glad my daughters and I can talk openly about the subject. I could NEVER talk about it with my mom, and I wish I had had someone explain things to me.

When my older daughter met her BF, and after they had been together for a while, they talked about having sex and she told him she had to talk to her mom first! :wtf: Freaked him out at first, until he realized how close we (my daughter and I) are. :lol::lol:
 
#21
My parents never talked about it. But when my mom figured out htat I wasnt a virgin anymore, she asked me nicely , and then decided to EDUCATE me on protecting myself.

She can't stop me, so might as well HELP me make sure I know what I'm doing.

She said that " in case u were ever to get pregnant, u cant say I never told u what to do!!"
 
#22
My parents didn't talk to me about sex at all. I learned about abstinence from going to a catholic high school, and learned about safe sex in sex ed classes. The one thing I wish I was taught was the emotional side of sex. Like, when you know you are ready, how to say no, what to do in situations where someone is pressuring you for sex. stuff like that.
 
#23
My parents never mentioned it. I mean my mom tried once but I was just like, "I know I know!"
We had a bunch of medical dictionaries I used to read when I was bored and I pretty much knew what was coming and what to expect before it happened. I kind of taught myself I guess. And even now, though I'm incredibly close to my parents, the subject never comes up. I guess they just figure I'm being responsible and making my own educated decisions. I was never (and still am not) one of those kinds of girls who did anything "risky" and neither are my friends so I think that makes my parents feel more secure.
 
#24
I would go for safe sex. I'm a teen myself, and thank god my parents have never tried to bring it up. People have needs, and I see no reason why I should make my kids opress those needs as long as they're safe. However, when I become a mother I'll probably hope that my kids won't meet the opposite sex until they're 40 or something. lol.
 
#25
My parents didn't really talk to me about sex...my mom started talking to me about safe sex (well, mostly not getting knocked up) around the time I was about to leave for college. But at least we talked about it.

I think it is SO important to talk to kids about safe sex--both birth control and STDs--even if you teach abstinence as the best thing. I think educating kids about safe sex and advocating absitnence are NOT mutually exclusive. I think covering all bases (uh, no pun intended...) when talking to young people about sex will show them that they can approach you if they need anything, even if they broke their abstinence and might be pregnant or be infected with an STD. Providing moral guidance is important, but kids also need to know they will have your support no matter what.
 
#26
In my household, we have an open relationship with my parents. Both my mom, and dad has taught me about abstinence, and safe sex. I think parents should teach both just in case because you never know wether or not kids listen.
 
#27
I'd have to say both. Personally, I would prefer if my children waited until they were mature enough to handle the consequences that can come out of having sex - but I would also teach them about safe sex.

My parents never really talked to me about sex. I just found out on my own. I lost my virginity at 17 to a sex-crazed midshipman at the US Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD. Although I don't regret it, I do wish that I had actually SEEN the situation before diving into something as big as that. I was just too caught up in the fact that "Hey, I'm dating a super hot guy that girls in my HS want and he's sleeping with MEEEE!"....
 
#28
Abstinence.

I'm not religious. But I used to live in SF. So many of our family friends died of Aids. It's a very ugly way to die.

There is no such thing as safe sex. All you can do is lower the chance of getting Aids but you can't take it to zero.

I'm not having sex until I get married. I'm not risking my life. We will both be tested every 6 months for at least 2 times.
 
#29
My parents taught me that I should wait until I was sure I had met someone that I truly loved, and that I was old enough to handle the emotional aspect as well as any consequences. I knew, therefore, that sex was out of the question while I was in HS. My Dad also made it clear in no uncertain terms, that I would regret an unintended pregnancy in so many ways (they would have made me terminate - girls in my circle didn't pop out babies while they were but babies themselves). My parents taught me to respect myself, and that a boy who pressures you doesn't love you, he only loves what you could do to him! I was almost 20 when I first had sex - well old enough, and I had met the man I will marry, had known him for well over a year, and knew we loved each other. We talked about protection and unintended pregnancy, as neither one of us wanted to ruin our lives.

Many of my friends who experimented while in HS had their little hearts broken, and one even ended up having to get an abortion - too heavy for someone so young. This only reinforced the way I felt at the time. I would try to instill the same values in my children - male and female. Remember little girls don't get pregnant on their own!
 
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