Recently divorced and dating again at 30...any good advice?

  1. So as a few of you may remember, I finalized a divorce that was a long time coming last month. We had been separated for over 9 months and I decided not to prolong the inevitable any longer. I have been "off the market" for over 10 years. Dating is a foreign concept to me. I am dating stupid.

    You know the cliche you'll meet someone when you aren't looking? Well, that is kind of what has happened to me. I absolutely had zero intentions of starting to date again--I did not want to invest the time nor did I have the energy after the divorce. However, I met someone very nice and we just "clicked." We've been dating for a little over a month now and it has been great! But...I'm still very unsure of how exactly to proceed. When do you address the "big" questions? ie: what is he looking for-a casual dating relationship or something more serious? Etc, etc.

    I hate to sound like a total moron, but what are the "rules" of dating these days? Or are there any? I'm only 30, but I feel like it has been an eternity since I had to go through all of this. Does anyone have any good advice to share?

    I hate feeling like a dorky 14-year old, wondering if he's going to call or if he likes me...:rolleyes:
  2. I have two friends just like you and the best thing is to get out there. If someone asks you out, go, even just for coffee, you have nothing to lose but maybe an hour of your time. Not every date will be wonderful, but the worst that can happen is you don't get along, you go your separate ways (before anyone says it, I know there is worse, but let's face it, it's not the norm). If you're interested in someone, ask them out, even for coffee. Give it a shot, you're worth it! Give anyone that's not awful a shot, you just might be surprised. Good luck!
  3. Just have fun, you deserve it. I'd wait before you ask him alot of questions. If he's around your age, he's probably thankful you aren't telling him your biological clock is ticking since you already have a child.
  4. I was back in the dating game again in my forties.

    I always ascertained upfront what they were looking for. I did not ever want to find myself in a situation where I developed feelings for someone who wasn't on the same page I was...or vice versa.

    I'm happy to say that I'm back out of the dating game. And I don't miss it in the least!
  5. Just go get him...grrr! :queen: You are a great person and I will send a couple extra prayers for you! God will bless you! Best of luck to you! :heart:
  6. Two words that will change your life--Brazilian wax!

    LOL Seriously, though, be guys who are worth dating, ya know?

    And have fun! You deserve it!! :smile:
  7. I'm almost 35 and never married so I have a lot of experience with being single. :smile: I have no clue what the "rules" are. I guess I've never followed any really. I just sort of let things evolve on their own. I can't even find a man I want to even go out with once though so I'm probably not the best to give advice.
  8. Just be yourself and have fun. Don't try to rush things, and don't go into every relationship thinking the outcome must be marriage. A friendship is an amazing outcome too!
  9. don't rush anything just take your time, and really get to know him, I wouldn't bring your child around until you know he will be in the picture for a while, I was always guarded with my boys I didn't want to answer the question why isn't so and so around any more so it was always a good long wait before anyone met my kids.

    Take your time and have fun this is your time for self discovery as you have been tied down for so long you may have gotten lost and you may just need to find out who you are again!
  10. There are no rules, per se. Just be yourself. At this point you've been seeing this guy for a month, so it seems like he's interested. Let things happen and don't second guess yourself. You should be able to tell if this guy is genuinely interested at this point. Is he calling regularly? Is he asking you out regularly? Is he making plans with you for event in the future (say a month from now)? These are all signs that he likes you and want to continue to see you.
    Aside from that, just get out and be seen. Find a place you like, then make sure you look available. Be nice to guys who buy you drinks, but don't waste your time if you're not interested. "Hey, thanks for the drink, it was really nice talking to you, but I need to run outside to make a call". If you see a guy, make sure you look at him, smile and hold his glance a couple of times. If he's interested, he'll approach. In the end, have fun. I loved being single and had a great time dating. Don't go out with finding a man as your priority. Go out to have fun. When a guy sees a confident girl who's just out having a good time, it's an attractive quality.
  11. When I was dating my DH in his 30s he said the nice thing about dating older is that you don't worry about rejection. If you ask someone out and they say no, it barely bothers you anymore because you have so many other things going on in your life. Now that I'm in my 30s I know what he meant.. Although I'm not on the market a friend of mine is newly on the market again and one just got engaged - they all agree that your self-confidence is a lot higher in your 30s and you feel good about not taking any cr*p.

    I hope everything goes well with the new guy!
  12. No real advice, just good wishes:flowers:

    Enjoy yourself!
  13. I couldn't have said it better....this is great advice!!!
  14. Wecome to the 30's! They are great! Just take good care of you! You deserve the best and do not settle into anything, too fast. Enjoy dating! Enjoy yourself and focus on your well-being by taking care of you by doing things you probably did not have a chance to do during your relationship. Try new things and meet new people!

    Good luck and keep us posted on your adventures!
  15. just have fun and enjoy yourself.Dont rush into any relationships just yet either.Treat yourself to girlstuff...(manicures..pedicures..waxing..LOL)and have fun discovering the new single you.Everyone is different....just go at yer own pace and HAVE FUN!!