Really Annoyed with myself!!

  1. I've been pretty good lately about staying positive and just managing how I react to stress, but recently, I've fallen back into bad habits I thought I had at least made some progress in. Basically, besides opening my store, I also participate in fashion shows and am learning alot, and working part time 4 nights a week. I had a last minute request to ddo an advert for a function I was involved with, 2 friends and a family member needed my help-and it was serious enough that I had to stop what I was doing, to help them-but all this has put me behind in marketing a liquidation sale I'm having tomorrow!!! I have the ad out the room rented, but I still don't have my website online with what's available, i have to still inventory every bag, and have a picture, and pass out flyers because the ad was too small. Ihave some people who are going to help, but they aren't web savy to help me with the posting pics, etc.

    If I didn't take the time I did for everybody else, everything would have been done by Monday.Now its Tuesday, and I'm just getting my bags inventoried. I love to help people-but I'm frustrated about saying "no" when my deadlines push against some one elses's crisis. Iguess I'm disappointed in myself, and it still doesn't help that I still get easily tired and I'm about 75% healthy from last illness.

    Sorry to be a downer, just had to get this off my chest.:sad:
  2. Realize you can't be everything to everybody and you are going to have to learn how to say no. It is probably the hardest thing to say to people but the easiest was is to just say No-I can' excuses needed. Congratulations on your store. That must be exciting but very hard work. I think you should put the store first and let others know that this is your priority......You need to take care of yourself, please find the time to do something special-take a hot bath tonight before bed.
    I wish you the best.
    Good luck.
  3. Ive been there....

    And trust me when I say that you have to put yourself first, when you have responsibilities vs. someone else's....

    I think that unless its life and death....anything that others needs to do for themselves that I take on for not actually helping them at all. They will only be taking advantage and its not fair nor is it healthy for all involved.

    Ive learned to be sympathetic and supportive, without taking on the burden upon myself.
  4. I hear you. I really have a rough time saying no, especially to close family and friends. And I end up exactly where you are right now! So hopefully the rest of the ladies will have some advice that I can take for myself too. Good luck!!
  5. Thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement. I understand intellectually what I need to say, but somehow I can't seem to say-I can't do this right now, or call me after this is done. There was only one situation that was a true emergency, the other two could have waited.

    I'm just going to have to practice saying "no," without explaining in the mirror until I can get used to saying no. I think I overestimate myself also, and just realize I'm only responsible for me and not the whole world.

    I think that this issue has come from people who were close to me or I knew-that lost their lives to domestic violence or suicide. The guilt of-what if I had known, what if they tried to tell me and I didn't realize it still haunts me-most recent was a school mate who was murdered in front of her child last year. I think that may have pushed me back to trying to be available to everybody. I've always felt like a people pleaser, but maybe I just need to deal with my grief/guilt. Thanks for letting me vent.