Rant: Why do some 'friends' distance themselves when ur doing good?

  1. HI ladies,

    I'm just ranting rather sadly or rather reflecting, why do some of my 'friends' delight in my troubles but when things are going good for me..they're not interested to know or they say nothing?

    Have you ladies had friends like that?

    And, I met this gf online somewhere, and at first felt we could chat a lot (I'm not from SD, so I don't have any gfs whatsoever here :sad:...

    Later, when things started looking up for me i.e. I got a good job while she was still unemployed..she seems to not seem so interested.

    I feel this is so prevalent amongst some friends..they love to listen to your troubles etc but once you have good stuff going on...they're a little 'disappointed'?

    Do you ever feel this way? Anyway, that's my little rant today...:sad:
  2. Yes, Mina,
    I know what you mean. Some friends love to hear from you when something is very wrong in your life and they hesitate to hear the good things. I think that is only natural and a sign to stay away from those type of people. They are not mentally healthy. Unfortunately, some people are not always happy for you success and fortune. you cannot make them feel happy for you. Just be strong and move on with your happy, successful life and try to find those who will appreciate you. It will be hard, but they do exist. Usually, it is confident, smart, independent men or women who will be happy for my success or happiness. Don't let it bother you!
  3. thanks gr8heart...guess i'm just feeling a bit down today
    and thinkng of those 'friends' make me feel a bit sick haha
  4. I hope you get to meet some people when you start your new job. Perhaps that will help. We are always here to cheer you on!
  5. I have started about a month into it..
    er..i have to say...my office is very quiet..everyone is always hard at work!
    not that i'm complaining..haha
  6. Because they can't stand it that your life is going better than theirs...Point. End of it.

    Get rid of those friends. I had some of those in HS...
  7. thanks lamiastella...
    what is HS if you dont mind me asking?
  8. oh yeah, I also told one of them that I'm getting a new CHanel jumbo flap (yippee) as a little gift for myself since I got my new job...
    and she said i was wasting money and that I should keep my money!!

    whereas she is unemployed and always wanting to go to casinos yet complain that she has no money to go out...
  9. ^^ HS = High School (at least, that's what I always thought)

    Personally, I would find new friends. I have dealt with people like that in the past as well, and I just don't have the time nor energy for drama... so, I gradually distance myself so it doesn't seem too obvious that I ditched the friendship right away. I don't sever ties completely... but I find that keeping myself busy with other things and making new friends is better than sticking with those who will only bring you down.
  10. thanks siworae...

    btw, who is that in your avatar? hehe
    I know what you mean..I guess today is just one of those days for me and these things just get exarcebated...

    i would usually ignore these things..and these 'friends'..
  11. Aww... it'll be ok. At the end of the day, you know you're doing well with your job and you def. deserve that Chanel jumbo flap! Some people are just bitter that things aren't going as well... they're the type that want to kick others while they're already down. It's probably jealousy and competitiveness... it's frustrating, I know. But hey, we're here for you! TPF is such a great support system...

    btw-- the picture in my avatar is of Korean actor, Joo Ji Hoon from his most recent drama, "Devil"... he was relatively unknown until he was cast as Prince Shin in "Goong" (aka Palace, or Princess Hours). So droolworthy... lol.
  12. Bc it´s so much easier to complain together !! Or do well together !! but when one is miserable it´s too hard for them to see their friend succeed, it confronts them to their own fears ??
    Also sometimes for example I know I need to be there much more closely for my gf if they are going through a rough time, and when they are doing better, except saying "I am so happy for you, you see, I knew it would work out etc...." I don´t need to be as much there ??KWIM ?? especially long distance gf, it´s not like you can just go and do stuff together- When there are problems to solve together it´s different conversation than when everything is doing fine-
    Not that I´m trying to defend her, just to see the situation in a possible different angle-
  13. It's because of jealousy and insecurity on their part. A true friend will support you through your successes and challenges both equally.
  14. I was going to say, those type of people are not really your friends. You need to find friends that are there in your joy (by being happy) and sadness (listening and a shoulder to cry on). Those are the kind of people that are friends. Not the kind that don't want to share you good news. Hopefully you will meet some people when you start your new job.
  15. Am I the only one who thinks otherwise? A friendship is two-sided...Even a really good friend will have trouble showing super happiness for you if they are in a difficult place now. Especially if you're flaunting it? I'm not sure of the situation, but sometimes I'm so happy for my friend but it doesn't show as much because I'm so upset about something. Eg. my friend got her heart broken after many years and I didn't mention my boyfriend and I doing really well too much because she really needed me for comfort not to make her feel worse at that moment.