Rant: Dads reaction to my being harassed by people who I do not know.

  1. Warning: this rant may seem trivial to some but if you have time and would like to help, read on.

    In another thread I mention how I just moved back to the big city where my parents live (I used to live in the subarbs) and how almost each time I go out I am harassed by men I do not know. The harassment is usually not serious and includes catcalling, leering, grabbing my arm, randomly coming up to me and rubbing my back, disgusting peverted ways of saying hello in terms of voice tone and such things. Relatively not serious but I am a sensitive person and not used to such things and lately have been very upset by these occurances. My mother knows of these incidents but does not know what to say. I have been wanting to tell my father about this for the last few weeks as he is a smart man and often knows how to handle unpleasant sitatutions. Today, a family friend (another very smart professional man who always knows what to do) was over with his daughter who is a college student. His daughter and I began talking about these occurances and finally the family friend was informed of our experiences. I am so sensitive to these issues that, yes very unprofessional and adult-like began to cry. It have only moved to the big city 3 months ago. The family friend gave us advice such as taking self defense courses and said matter of factly because I am petite these things will happen and that I should be confident and speak out to the perpentrator next time. My father was present when we began our conversation of this topic (so he is aware of it now) but shortly after the conversation... he walked away seemingly angry. He knew I was upset. He saw me crying. After the close family friend left I asked him waht he thought. His reaction?? No sympathy whatsoever. All he had to say was wear less makeup and more clothing. I informed him I was fully covered from head to toe during all these incicents!! (which in all honesty I was) and he still said in an annoyed manner "HEY! You asked for my opinion and I gave it. You think I dont get harassed? What if I were like you and got scared and put off by little things like this, didnt go to work and just staying home all day?!!?!?" (I am currently unemployed and have been job searching the last 3 months)
    I told him "Dad you dont understand, your a GUY!! When I go out with you, things such as this do not happen to me!" His reaction? "Still, you need to grow up, youll never get anything done in life if you are so upset by such a little thing!"

    I was very obviously already extremely upset.. even before he had said that. It took a lot of courage on my part to even let him in on my life and know waht I was going though and he was very cold throughout. :crybaby: I have no friends in this city that I just moved to so I have no one to rant to. I do not know why he reacted in such a way. He had not an ounce of sympathy. Can anyone provide me any comfort or maybe answers to his reaction? Thanks everyone.
     
  2. I honestly don't know why he reacted that way but I want to let you know that
    what the guys did ARE serious. Not all of them but once they touch you, I consider that serious.
     
  3. Hmm . . . that's a toughie. Yes, it did sound harsh, but maybe what he's saying is that if you weren't doing (or wearing anything) that would encourage what people are doing, then you should stand up for yourself.

    Take a self defense class. If someone grabs your ass, call them out on it. Or scream loudly, "Don't TOUCH me!" Let them know that you won't take it anymore.

    Don't let a bunch of lecherous pigs keep you from living your life.
     
  4. While your dad was rather blunt , he was right about one thing . Don't let a bunch of pigs affect you like this .

    It does happen , and is extremely annoying . But trust me it's all in your attitude . I can shoot a death stare to some creep before a word is out of his mouth . In situations such as these , it's best to be a little *****y .
     
  5. i agree with your dad that dressing a manner that displays complete repct for yourself and also complete disregard for obtaining men's attention might decrease the amoutn of aggrevation that your encountering.