Question about grief

  1. A few years ago, my grandmother died. We were very, very close and I took her death pretty hard. Strangely, I never really grieved the loss. I was afraid that if I ever cried for her, I would never stop.

    Fast forward a few years....

    Recently, I suffered another loss. It did not affect me as profoundly as the death of my grandmother. But it did hurt.

    So here is the strange part. Since this most recent loss, I can't stop thinking about and missing my grandmother. It's almost as if her death were still new.

    Is it possible that one grief can bring a buried loss to the surface. Is that how it works?
    Thanks for reading.
     
  2. It is possible because it obviously reminds you of the passing of your other loved one and how you felt. But since you never really let those emotions out from when your grandmother passed, they are surfacing now. Those are my thoughts.
    I am so sorry about your losses, hang in there! Let the grieving process run its course, and if you feel you need to cry, cry! Don't keep it all inside, just let it out. Talk to friends or family also. *Hugs*
     
  3. This is very common, and is likely to happen again, with the death of a loved one or a pet. Grief is a very personal experience, and no two people experience grief the same. Also, don't let others tell you how to grive, meaning how long, etc. I hope you feel better soon.
     
  4. la miss, first off I am very sorry for your loss.

    This happened to me too with my Grandfather. I was a teen and my Mom was beside herself. It was almost as if I had no room or right to grieve in the face of that.

    Later, a school friend of mine was murdered and it overwhelmed me with grief about my Grandfather.

    Grieve when you can, it will come as it will. Give yourself space and time and permission to do what comes naturally to you, no matter how different it may seem.

    :flowers:
     
  5. I felt that way just yesterday.

    My father died last July. I went to a funeral yesterday at the same cemetary. Since they were both military funerals...it was practically identical to my Dad's.

    I was truly overcome with emotion and have spent today grieving my father. It feels very much like the grief I experienced right after he died.
     
  6. Wow, la miss, I'm sooo sorry for your losses. It is totally possible that you never really mourned your grandmother, and maybe those hidden feelings keep coming back. But I'm pretty sure, at least for me, that funerals always bring back memories of when we lost loved ones. I guess it's sort of like empathy. Because we know what it feels like.

    I also lost my grandmother about 7 years ago, and we too were very close. She was like a second mother to us (also to my sisters). Every major holiday or family event always makes me feel bad for a little while, because I wish I could share it w/ her again. I just recently got married, and I can't even express how much I wanted her too be there. And everytime I go to a funeral, it's like going through the motions of hers again. Some of the same feelings come back.

    So I can definitely relate. I'm sorry for the rant. Anyway, I really do think that when someone experiences a major loss in the family, funerals and such will remind them of the time of loss again.

    Again, I'm sorry for your losses, and if you ever need anything, you can always feel free to PM me! (((HUGS))):flowers:
     

  7. Oh Kat, I'm so sorry! (((HUGS))):flowers:
     
  8. Thank you all for your support and comforting words. I'm feeling a bit better. The grief feelings still come in waves but less frequently than before.
     

  9. Thanks...that means a lot.
     
  10. if someone had a huge significance in your life i dont think you ever stop grieving completely.
    my uncle died in 2001 and then this year we had another 2 deaths in the family, i grieved for the recent deaths but also for my uncle, it brought back memories and emotions i had forgotten about. and made me reflect on what happened in the past.
     
  11. I heard a shrink once say that a signifiant loss in your life is a wound to your soul. If its not allowed to heal (grief), it'll wait out the time until you do.