purse party

  1. I've only been a member for a short period of time, but I just love it here. Everyone is so nice here. Thanks for making me feel welcome!

    I have a problem with a friend. First of all, I apologize if this is long.

    I got a call from a college friend last night, inviting me to a purse party. I've heard about purse party before and my understanding is purses sold at these parties are fake :hrmm:. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

    So I asked my friend about it. She admitted that she didn't know if the purses're real or not, but she didn't really care. "It's all for fun, you know?," that's what she said. I told her that selling fakes was illegal and that I would not be comfortable participating in that. I wasn't rude about it, I simply told her what I thought, but she got offended. She said that not everyone could afford the real things and just because I could, I shouldn't judge others who could only afford the replicas. I tried to explain that I wasn't judging anyone, I simply did not want to participate in something I was not comfortable in. She called me stuck up and spoiled, and hung up on me :cry:

    I've known her for years.. we used to be really close, but over the years, we have grown apart. We do meet up once in a while to catch up. I feel horrible about what happened. I tried calling her back but she's not taking my calls. Honestly, I was not judging her or others, I was simply stating my opinion.

    I would really hate losing a friend over this :cry: What do you guys think? Was I wrong? How would you handle a situation like this?

    Thank you!
     
  2. In the United States the hostess can get arrested for hosting purse parties. She can be forced to pay damages in the tens of thousands.

    The FBI does get involved in raiding purse parties because the profits do help fund organized crime, and terrorism. This is not to say that the hostesses are directly aware of this connection; but, the people who provide the purses to the hostesses are aware of this connection.

    Stay away from Puuse parties, they are illegal and criminal.
     
  3. Wow, I've never heard of these. Your friend will most likely call you back once she realizes she over-reacted. If not, your friend is pretty immature. She wanted you to do something illegal and you explained your reasons for not wanting to go carefully and maturely. Maybe give it a while and then call her to do something else that could be legal and fun?
     
  4. If your supposed "friend" wants to lose a long term friendship over something as trivial as this, then she needs to get a life. I mean come on! If she wants to get snippy and resort to name calling, then she wasn't a true friend from the get-go. Did she have anything that was troubling her before that made her snap at you since you were the innocent bystander? If not, then don't feel like you have to gravel at her doorstep. You attempted to call her numerous times to no avail. Her loss...you were just being honest and if she can't handle that, she needs to get over it. If friends can't respect a difference of opinion, that just shows their maturity level or lack thereof.

    You've done your part, now the ball's in her court. She can get over it and continue the friendship or hold a grudge like an immature 8yo.

    I feel this way b/c I've been burned like this before so it won't happen again. Our time is too precious to be graveling. I know she's a close friend but obviously there's a reason why y'all have grown so distant. That's exactly what happened to my friend and I too. Stick with the true friends you have b/c those are few and far between and way too priceless. Take some solace in that and don't lose any sleep over the fair-weather friends that come and go w/ the breeze. :amuse:
     
  5. Thank you for the advices. You are right, Jasanna, there's nothing I can do. I don't know why I'm so hung up on this. I guess I was just shocked by the name calling.

    To be honest, I didn't know much about purse parties, just thought the purses were fake. Thank you Loganz for the explanation. I'm definetly staying away.
     
  6. Loganz is right, it is illegal, I have read many articles where officers attend the parties undercover (as friend of a friend) and they confiscate and charges are made. This is a hard situation since it really isn't about you not supporting her, fact is, you just don't want to take part of something illegal. That IS the right thing to do, don't feel bad about that!

    I would just let her cool off and write her a nice little card (especially since she is not taking your calls). Say something like, "Dear so and so, Thank you so much for inviting me to your Party. You know I love purses and I love spending time with you but I read that these parties are illegal and I hope you understand that I cannot take part in it. It has nothing to do with the purses, I love a good deal as much as the next girl, I just cannot jeopardize the risks involved.

    I do hope you understand, it has nothing to do with you or the bags. Your friendship means more to me than anything. I will give you a call in a few days and maybe we can do lunch."

    I don't know, something like that, I just woke up, my brain hasn't fully kicked in yet. :smile: Good luck! Don't worry about it. If she is going to trash your friendship over this, then it is best you found this out about her. But I can't imagine she would if she was mature.
     
  7. ^iliabags - that is a great idea, the notecard!!
     
  8. That really is a great idea. Thank you so much for all your help everyone :love:. I feel a lot better. I was just worried that she was right about me being judgemental.
     
  9. If you go the card route, I really would emphasize the potential risks of engaging in the activity (i.e. arrest, fines, the connection between organized crime/terrorism and counterfeit goods). I think that might make her realize that it isn't because you're a snob. Maybe she'll reconsider her position on hostessing purse parties.
     
  10. If she wants to make a huge deal out of this and possibly ruin your friendship by resorting to calling you "stuck up" for not participating in an illegal activity, let that be her problem, not yours. Just because she is attending this party, doesn't mean she has to criticize you and hurt your feelings for not wanting to attend the party. She is probably not aware of how the counterfeit industry works, and thinks that fake bags are just like the real thing, but at a less expensive price. Most people do think that, they see no harm in buying a fake. But, there is a lot more to it than that.

    iliabags' idea about a note is nice, it would show her that you're willing to put this behind you and move on. I hope things work out for you!
     
  11. i saw on the news recently, near me a woman is facing 8 years of jail time and over 200,000 in fines for having purse parties. and i'm glad they prosecuted her.
     
  12. I certainly could see that feeling a bit of a sticky situation. I really don't think it would offender her, I would think the reaction is one more out of knowing what she is doing is wrong, legally if not morally, and your reluctance to participate just make her defensive about it.

    It really doesn't sound like you said anything unkind or inappropriate. I think in general in life, if someone knows they are doing something not right, they get very defensive when something makes them aware of it, even if its not said or implied.
     
  13. What i toke from it was u didnt want to go , so if she is up tight about that , than of well.........K.I.M. ( Keep It Moving ).. Dont make time for petty stuff ........And i never heard of purse parties
     
  14. sounds like she's insecure, which is totally not your problem. good for you for sticking up for yourself and not lowering your standards, it is indeed an illegal activity (and a tacky one at that). if she wants to be immature about it, there's nothing you can do but assure her that's it's not about money and hope she understands eventually.
     
  15. Why dont you find a news article about that women who is going to jail and send it to her. That will shut her up!

    Selena