Please all mommys advice.. Would you leave your child home alone? (Long post)

  1. I dont have much family here and DH's parents live in LA, we live near SF. Every summer my cousin would helo me to watch my daughter, she is nine years old now so it was good for my cousin to use DD as a sitter as well beacuse she has a 24 mo baby that LOVES to be around my daughter. And I would babysit her kids too, we were doing each other a big favor.

    Last christmas, my cousin moved back to my aunt's house, and I hate to say it but yes, my aunt is mean... everyone tha knows her does not really like her because she is very rude, unpolite and cruel sometimes. So I asked my aunt since she owns the house and she said it was fine but I needed to pay, and I totally agreed. and I know she needed a little exta money to pay the mortgage. Needless to say DD was a big help for everyone, since doing chores to keeping the other kids bussy.

    Everytime I called during the morning to check on my child and asked for everyone, her answer was auntie and uncle are working, B is in school, M is working too and F is sleeping so nobody was really watching the kids right?. so aunt is selling the house I dont really know why but she wont be paying any mortgage for the next three months, I feel like she doesnt need any money anymore so she doesnt care and she had my uncle called me las week and say "hey everyone here has a bad cold so don't bring your daughter". even tho they got her sick the week before so she is sick anyway.

    So, I dont really have anyone else to watch her and I will be taking some days off these week until she goes back to school. We live in a gated community so is kind of safe but I am stil scared of living her alone. we did it a few days last week and today to go to work, we told her 100000000 times not to answer the door or look trought the window or answer the phone (only If we were calling, we have caller ID) and hubbys friend come over to pick up something and I do trust him a lot but still you know, and she opened the door and let him in :wtf:. DH was soo mad at her and I was mad too, but she doesnt think she did something bad.

    do yo leave your kids home alone??
     
  2. I wouldn't. She already demonstrated that she doesn't apply the rules in some cases. It isn't that she isn't responsible or doesn't understand your rules or why you have them, but at that age, she doesn't necessarily have the judgement to apply them the way they were intended.

    For example, they recommend that parents never let a child swim alone until the child is at LEAST 9 years old, and even older for many kids. Again, it isn't because they cannot swim or because they cannot understand the rules; it is because they do not have the judgement to always do the right thing.

    In both the case of being left home alone and swimming, a error in judgement could be fatal (not to be extreme, but we all worry about some nut gaining access to our homes, even in gated communities). I am not saying that no 9 year old should be left alone under any circumstances, and I do not have a 9 year old myself (my eldest is 7). But again, she already did the thing you fear most: she opened the door. I just wouldn't risk it anymore right now.
     
  3. I was left home alone at 9 for about 15-30 minutes at a time and it increased from there as I got older, but I also had an 8 year old brother. I was also the responsible one, so it worked b/c there was a backup, my parents could trust me and we followed their rules to the letter. It doesn't sound like your daughter is ready, though, because she let your husband's friend in. I'm 28 and the world is a different place, and I don't think I'd be comfortable leaving a 9 year old alone now. I hope you find a good arrangement, and soon.
     
  4. No. No matter how mature she is, or how bad your predicament is, she is still not old enough to be home alone or to always correctly handle any situation that might come up. It may even be against the law, I am not sure though. I really am sorry about the bind you are in and I am not being judgemental. I hope you find a solution soon. Best wishes.
     
  5. I have a 9 yr old and even though she is very responsible I would never leave her alone. Your dd has already broken the rules.
    Don't risk it. Place an ad in the paper for child care or look in your local market bulletin board.
    Good luck
     
  6. 9 is way too young IMO.
    I won't do it until at least 12. . . and then we'll consider it.
     
  7. I think you answered your own question... she was given rules and could not follow, she can not be left home alone. 9 seems pretty young to me.

    sorry about this all! good luck figuring it out!
     
  8. thank you all.. like I said I will be off this week so I can be with her 'till she returns to school the 20.
     
  9. Oh I wouldn't. But my circumstances are a little different. My oldest is 11.5 years old, but she'd have to watch her 8, 6 and 4 year old siblings which I would NEVER do at this age. It's just too much. I think she MIGHT be good by herself, but I don't feel comfortable. I just work it out to have her with me or I just don't go. We don't have any family members except my MIL who is quite elderly and doesn't come over but every couple of weeks.

    I would wait. I'm sorry - I think it'd be best to find someone to watch her. I'm sure she knows she did the wrong thing, but it doesn't matter. She still opened the door...
     
  10. Would it be possible if you can arrange something with the parents of your child's friends? Perhaps, you can have playdates on the days you can't watch her and then the days you are off, you can switch and take care of her and her other friends. Be creative, they can perhaps have sleep-overs, bake cookies, watch DVD's, play at the park, day at the zoo, etc.
    Hope this helps.:heart:
     
  11. In many states, it is illegal to leave children under the age of 10 home alone. Not only is it dangerous, but if someone calls CPS, you could be in huge legal trouble.
     
  12. I won\'t leave a 9 year old alone at home. It makes her very vulnerable to dangers which we may not be able to foresee.
     
  13. No. I try to find someone to watch my son, else I either take him with me or stay home. Sometimes it is hard as I don't need a sitter but here are some options I use:

    1. A student from a nearby college - they are usually free during the summer and appreciate some spending money. Leaving a note on college notice boards or putting an ad in a student newspaper gets lots of response.

    2. A SAHM mom of his school friends. Most moms are willing to help out especially if only for a few days. Sometimes I arrange for reciprocal sitting; otherwise I pay.
     
  14. No, it's just too dangerous. Even though you live in a gated community.....it doesn't mean that it's 100% safe. I have 2 sons ages 10 & 8 and I live in a town where it's considered to be one of the safest in the state but I still drag them everywhere with me even though it takes me that much longer to do things. Better safe than sorry......good luck!:balloon:
     
  15. I totally agree, but I have to add that it's possible that a 9 year old could be at the maturity level to handle staying at home alone, but this is the exception rather than the rule.

    As for the age, I would say it depends on the child, but I wouldn't consider it before 11.

    My mom left my sis and I alone in the house at 9, and while we knew better than to answer the phone or door without her around, we felt scared. We didn't feel ready to be in the house alone and anxiously awaited her return. It felt like a lot of stress to be "in charge" of the household, and my sister and I didn't enjoy it.

    Every child is different, but it's better to be on the safe side.