People who do not write thank you notes- a bit of a gripe

  1. I am new here and I recognize some names here from the eBay forums and I can already tell I will like this forum a lot.

    I was reading the wedding posts and I just felt the need to rant a little.

    Has anyone noticed how no one writes Thank You notes anymore? My mother and I have both noticed this has gotten really bad in recent years.

    Example: my husband's nephew got married last July. We gave the new couple a VERY large sum of money as a wedding gift. To this day we have not heard a word from them. I realize they have a year to write cards, but I feel that 8 months is too long.

    Also, I have stopped buying birthday and graduation gifts for the children of other family members because we never get an acknowledgement of any kind- not even a phone call.

    I read your posts here ladies and I get the feeling you were taught the same way I was. I can remember writing thank you notes to my grandma when I was in kindergarten. My father insisted upon it, and I still write them to this day.

    As my Mother says, "Nice matters". Why does NICE not matter any more for so many people???
     
  2. I totally agree with you. I wrote my Thank You notes for our wedding shower and our wedding pretty much right away (within a month or so). I got tired of waiting for other's Thank You notes and you do feel that they take things for granted even if they are family. I don't know what to do with Thank You notes that arrived 3, 4, 5 months later and the message just sounded so generic. Who made up the rule about having a whole year to thank people? Yeah way back when the pony was to deliver the mail it was probably acceptable but in this day and age, a quick email would have been nice too.

    And I feel the same way about buying gifts for the children in the family too. It's like it's expected and there is no gratitude shown whatsoever, it's like they don't really need the gift? Anyway, I still enjoy giving, but I just enjoy it more when it is to people who appreciate my gifts.
     
  3. For weddings, it's mostly because it's not about being bride anymore, it's about overindulged Bridezillas who think it's their birthright to have an overblown, expensive-for-everyone, IT'S-MY-SPECIAL-DAY!!!! wedding.
    So who cares about the guests and gift-giverss?! As long as they fork over the dough.
     
  4. I wrote a Thank You for every graduation present I received (college and high school). I plan to for my wedding. I would be miffed if I didn't receive a thank you when I had given a wedding gift.
     
  5. Thank you so much for these posts. You don't know how this has been ANNOYING me. My Mom and I talk about it often. Oh- and check this out: my nephew who got married, well his mother (my sister in law) sent an EMAIL to family and friends several months before the wedding telling everyone to give the couple MONEY ONLY...

    How incredibly TACKY can you be???

    Oh and you bet I'm miffed. The money we gave them was enough to have purchased a Couture handbag or at least started a Birkin fund.... grrrrr
     
  6. He could have send the wedding registry as an attachment? ;)
     
  7. I always write thank you notes....even for car rides. My coworkers yell at me for it cause they get overflowed with cards.
     
  8. I just think its gone too far. My Mom told me she received an invitation to an anniversary party for some old friends. The children were organizing the party and want the guests to PAY for their dinners. I mean, come on? If I organize a party, if I can't afford to pay for the food then maybe I need to downsize a bit? Next thing you know we'll be receiving invites to weddings asking us to pay for the buffet too. :weird:

    I did tell my sister in law that I was not happy about the fact that our gift was not acknowledged. She made excuses that they were "busy". My response is that I'm BUSY TOO, in fact, I AM BUSY AND WORK FOR THE MONEY THEY RECEIVED.

    Ughh. :mad:
     
  9. I agree with all the posts here. I have not received a single thank you note for any of the wedding presents (some of which were very generous) that I gave out during 2004-2006.

    It's especially irksome when you see how much people appreciate receiving a handwritten thank you note with a personal message. Does the lightbulb just not go off that as much as it thrilled you to receive one, it would be a nice gesture and graciously received in turn? Sigh...
     
  10. I haven't run into this yet. I was unable to attend a wedding and sent a gift. 1 month later a picture and thank you arrived.

    For anyone who doesn't send a thank you, Ignorance is bliss!
     
  11. I don't always have the time to "write" thank you notes, but I always take the time to either call or e-mail my thanks. I feel really bad :sad2: about it.

    On a related note, my local Kate Spade store always sends a personalized, hand-written note whenever I purchase something. The other day, I actually got a note apologizing for my returning something!
     
  12. Suli,

    The thing that matters is that you make the EFFORT. What I am talking about is people who just care about the greed involved in receiving the gifts and don't bother showing any appreciation.
     
  13. i would never dream of not writing thank you notes. phone calls to people i am very close with, and thank you notes to most everyone else.
     
  14. How about people who DO write thank you cards, but only to certain guests and not others??


    My bf has large extended family here, and everytime there's a child's baptism/bday/birth, or a wedding/bday of other family member, I'm expected to get a gift for them (their tradition = never show up empty handed). Now, I'm a poor student, but I've managed to buy nice gold earrings, or pendants, or whatever's on their registry for them.


    And they have a logbook to take notes as to who gave what, when they're opening presents. Yet only the "family" and "friends" get thank you cards, to date, I've never gotten any acknowledgement. Perhaps it's cuz I'm not same ethnicity as bf's family? I don't know. I'm about to quit from going to his "family events"
     
  15. Lyn,
    Have you talked to your BF about this? I would frankly be enraged at such a snub. When I was younger, I probably would have quietly sucked it up but now that I am over 40, I don't care what people think. I say what I feel. I would not spend a dime more if I were you!!

    PS: Waving to you up north from here in Seattle today.