Parent telling you what to do all the time?

  1. Dad is living with us again. So here it is one week and I feel like I am about to loose my mind..... He just complains about everything I do. The kids are spoiled, they have too many toys, throw their toys out, they fight, they whine......... My daughter is dealing with stomach problems for 2+ months and I am still dealing with her feeling sick then OK (gastro. doctor appt. is in August) so eating with her is happy to see her eat, wait and see if her stomach hurts and baby her when she hurts so bad and is upset that she is in pain. It does not upset me if she wants to eat a certain food (as long as it is good for her) or if she decided she is done with her meal, but I get send her to bed without eating.......don't give her anything more to eat.......
    Today is was "the front door needs fixing, call the guy who installed it", the storm door sticks a bit so the door does not blow-kind of a suction thing. We were 15 minutes early at McDonalds for lunch service, so I wanted to go to the dollar store to get some things for the house, got a lecture on not buying things for the kids which I wasn't. The the pout because I did not buy his paper right away for him to read in the car, he is not happy with my paper I have to go buy him one for his part of the state everyday........Then I went to buy paint for my daughters room, he lectured about how long he had to wait in the car. He refuses to get out of the car except to eat at McDonalds......
    Of course the list goes on and on with what is wrong in my house.
    I try to be so kind and nice but I feel like I just get this verbal abuse attack that my kids even pick up on.
    I need to vent.....:sad:
  2. Maybe he's just feeling a little like he doesn't have control and he's trying to exercise it on you ? Have you thought about confronting him about this ? I mean, it might get to the point where it melts down into an ugly screaming match. Anyways, I do hope your day improves !
  3. Why is he living with you?
  4. You gotta lay down the ground rules right away....

    "So glad to have you with us, but, here is what I need from doing this, no doing that...etc."

    Good luck with this situation. Remember the longer you let it go on, the worse it will get!!
  5. I'd like to know this too- is this your home and he's your "guest"?
  6. I totally know what you are going thru. My mother lives around the corner and she delves her wrath over the phone about what I should and shouldn't do for my kids. We had it out just yesterday and I feel your frustration. I get angry because she tells me what I'm doing wrong and she didn't do it for me and my sibling in our upbringing. But not to steal thunder from your thread, I feel your pain and frustration from a parent that interfere's too much sometimes.
  7. Dad can't live alone so he rotates houses. He gets waited on by me all day long since we work from home. I mean there were times he wouldn't leave the room and got all meals served. I have stopped that long ago. my 2 siblings work and at one house he has to make all his meals and do everything for himself. I really try to do anything for him because he is my dad and I love him and feel he is old and deserves to be spoiled but it seems like nothing can make him happy. Then one sibling who does nothing for him and talks really bad to him ( you want a paper I will drive you and you go in the store and get it yourself) is treated like she is God and can do no wrong. I guess I am having a hard time with verbal abuse because I really don't fight back and my family feels like they can take advantage of me. I mean I get "you gave me the wrong size spoon for my food to the wrong cup......" I think I am under so much stress dealing with trying to find a answer to my daughters stomach problem (we were up all night last night) that lack of sleep and worry spilled out to other areas and I just feel like everyone needs to respect each other. I am the only sibling that has children and they are my priority in life.
    I don't do well with stress, my best friend who has stage 4 breast cancer is on my mind all the time, she is a second Mom to me (my Mom died 4 years ago of cancer). I will see my friend in 3 weeks, she is coming to stay for 17 days and I am so excited and happy to have her here. She tells me I do too much for people but I have always been the nice one.
  8. Wow! Tough situation. You need to tell your father that even though you'll always be his daughter, you're a grown woman and that is YOUR house and if he wants to stay there, he needs to respect your authority just as you did his when you were living under his roof.

    Let him know that you are a capable woman (thanks in part to him) and he just needs to let you do things the way that work for you.