Out of The Mouths of Babes.....

  1. Hi Folks:

    I just love it when kids speak their mind - and below are a few of the cute things that they say....

    Do you have any great examples of the funny things that have come out of the mouths of your babes??


    HOW DO I DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

    You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it like you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming - Alan aged 10

    No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you are stuck with - Kisten aged 10

    WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

    Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then - Camille aged 10

    No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married - Freddie aged 6

    HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

    You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Dereck aged 8

    WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

    Both don't want more kids - Lori aged 8

    WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

    Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough - Lynette aged 8

    On the first date, they tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date - Martin aged 10

    WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

    I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. - Craig aged 9

    WHEN IS IT OK TO KISS SOMEONE?

    When they're rich - Pam aged 7

    The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that - Curt aged 7

    The rule goes like this, if you kiss someone,then you have to marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. - Howard aged 8

    IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

    It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. - Anita aged 9

    HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IFI PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

    There would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? - Kelvin aged 8

    HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

    Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck - Ricky aged 10

    _______________________________

    OK - Your turn!

    x
     
  2. Not mine, I don't have any, but I've compiled some:

    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]"yesternight"...[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica]any night in the past.[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]"meep meep runner road"...[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica]the road runner.[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica]"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]yestersmorning"...[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica]any day in the past.[/FONT]

    I asked Woody, age 4 1/2, to check my cucumber plants.After looking at themfor several seconds,he yelled,[SIZE=+1]"MOM! This isn't cucumbers! It's a[/SIZE][SIZE=+1]pickle plant!"[/SIZE]


    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]when he hurt himself, I asked if his back hurt....[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]he came out with, "Actually my spine is sore." - 5 year old Lachlan[/FONT]

    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]After being in trouble came out saying... [/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]"I polygize, I polygize." - 3 year old Connor[/FONT]

    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]When Brandon was 3 years old, he used to annouce [/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]when he was hungry, "Ma, I'm on empty!"[/FONT]

    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]One morning as I was getting ready for work my 2 year old son[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]was singing, "Baa Baa pink sheep have you any wool?"... I said, [/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]"Brandon, you are suppose to sing Baa Baa Black sheep." [/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]He turn around with the most serious face and said, [/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]"No mama, its a girl sheep."[/FONT]

    Everyday after work, I pick my daughter up and carry her with me to cheerleading practice ( I am a coach). Well a few weeks ago , taking the same route, we passed a dead skunk. She said, "awwww mommy is he dead" I replied "yes he is" She said "poor skunk. The next day we came by the same spot and she said, "awww mommy its still there. I said "yes he is, but he is okay." She was so sad cause he was still laying in the street. A few weeks passed and we did not come that way. Well yesterday we came that way and she yelled "MOMMY HE'S GONE", I said who, She said the skunk in an excited voice. I said yes he's gone. She said he's gone to heaven right? I said yes he is. Then she paused and said. "OH NO!!" I said what's the matter. She said, "I sure hope Jesus dont smell that old funky thing." I was laughing so hard that I had to pull the car over to catch my breath.


    "If Grandma's going to Heaven, why does she need clothes?" - My second cousin Jonathan at my grandmother's wake. I told him it was because Grandma wanted to look nice for people seeing her for the last time.
     
  3. Every couple of days I document some conversation's I've had with my kids, word for word.
    I've compiled about 750 pages.

    My daughter is 5 and my son is 2.


    Henry: (laughing to Sal) Look at that lady's tummy in her PANTS!

    Henry is in his car seat pointing at an obese woman. Her thighs are so fat that it looks like she has has two testicles the size of small bean bag chairs swaying at her knees.

    Winona: Henry you cannot laugh out loud at people's bodies. Everyone is different and you could hurt somebody's feelings if you talk about their body just because they are different. Some people have tummies, some people have big boobs, some people have wheelchairs, some people have scars, some people have no legs...

    Sal: ... people with no legs can get fake legs that are metal and you can do everything with a metal legs that you can do with a real legs except shave it, right Mom?

    Winona: Yes Sal that's right and you can do things with metal legs that you can't do with real legs.

    Sal: Like what?

    Winona: Take them off. So do you understand Henry? Henry?
    Henry: Mom, can I have a cupcake when I get home?

    Winona: Sure.
    _______________________________________

    Sal: Mom, Braedon and I are building a studio.

    Winona: What kind of studio?

    Sal: Everything. TV, plays...whatever. We are building our own so that we can act out whatever we want and can be the bosses.
    We are going to have a room in the studio that only our friends can go into. ONLY FRIENDS, and we will have some really top secret stuff in there, like costumes no one else can see.

    Winona: Are you building this in our yard?

    Sal: Braedon's backyard. Why are you asking me?

    Winona: What are you building it with?

    Sal: Bricks.
    And we're going to have some silly songs and do silly acts.
    You wanna join?
    Winona: Is it a club?

    Sal: Yeah.

    Winona: Cool.

    Sal: Can I have some Pepperoni?

    Henry rushes into the room: MOOOM THE SPECIAL FACE SOAP WENT DOWN THE DRAIN! COME-AND-SEE!

    Winona: It's okay.

    Henry: Yeah, you can just wash your face with my soap. Mom, for Christmas I want a holding plastic penis. A MONSTER penis! As big as Dad's.

    Winona: Okay.
     
  4. [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]I was looking in your site and thought that I might add[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]something my son who is now 22 years said when he was about[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]six or seven. He came rushing in and asked, mummy, how many[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]testicles does an octopus have, well you could imagine how[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]hard it was not to burst out laughing, but I managed it, and[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]said I'm not sure about that but they have eight tentacles.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]My wife was just finishing a bath and was standing in the[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]tub reaching for a towel when our son, Mikey, walks in.[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]She quickly grabbed the towel and rapped it around herself.[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Mikey looks at her and says, "I'm not interested in THOSE!"[/FONT] [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]I was having one of those really bad days where everything just[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]went wrong. I was driving down the street and my son Joey who[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]was 2 at the time, was driving me crazy with all of his questions,[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]his favorite word was, "why". Momma why this, and momma[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]why that. I finally told him "Joey if you ask me "why" one more[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]time I am going to punish you. After a few seconds, he looked[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]at me with the most serious look on his face and asked me[/FONT]
    [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]"how come?" At least he didn't ask why again![/FONT]
     
  5. Caitlin, I love that your cousin asked why Grandma was wearing clothes!
     
  6. My youngest brother is quite a few years younger than I am. I still vividly remember when he came downstairs to watch TV with me (around age 3 or so...I was 11) and one of his eyes was stuck shut from having a lot of dried sleep in it. He looked at me and said in the sweetest voice "<pursegrrl>...my eye broke." It was so touching! So I got a warm washcloth and gently got his eye "unbroke" again :smile: .
     
  7. [FONT=arial,helvetica]A Children's Science Test

    If you need a laugh, then read through these Children's Science Exam Answers:


    Q: Name the four seasons.

    A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.


    Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

    A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large

    pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.


    Q: How is dew formed?

    A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.


    Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)

    A: Keep it in the cow.


    Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

    A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this

    fight.


    Q: What are steroids

    A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.


    Q: What happens to your body as you age?

    A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.


    Q:What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

    A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.


    Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes

    A: Premature death.


    Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)

    A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the

    five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.


    Q: What is the fibula?

    A: A small lie.


    Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one...)

    A: Nearby.


    Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."

    A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome


    Q: What does the word " benign" mean?'

    A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

    [/FONT]
     
  8. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

    She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"


    Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."


    The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"






    The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

    "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

    A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."




    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

    "Yes," the class said.

    "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

    A little fellow shouted,
    "Cause your feet ain't empty."






    The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

    "Take only ONE. God is watching."

    Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

    A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.





    A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

    As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.


    The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."


    The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

    Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
     
  9. :roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao: :roflmfao: !!!!!!!
     
  10. I was at Home Depot, with my 3 kids...my son was 5, at the time...my daughter 2 1/2, and my youngest was a baby. It was a horrifying shopping experience...just trying to keep them all where they were supposed to be. I got to the checkout, and was trying to concentrate on paying when my 2 year old started loudly saying, "Mommy, mommy". I didn't turn around, but told her to hold on a minute, as I was busy...next think I know she says, "Mommy, your butt is Sooooooo.....BIG!!!". Then I did turn around, and she was standing behing me with a tape measure pulled open. All the people in line behing me were cracking up, and I just gathered my bunch...and left with a little less dignity than I had arrived with!!!
    When my son was 4...we would take him to Sunday School, and always gave him $$$ for the offering. We would tell him, "Honey, this $$$ is for God". After church one day, we passed a lady on the stairs...and my son was AWESTRUCK. He whispered to me, "Mommy, there is GOD!!!". Turns out she was the lady collecting the offering...
    There are so many that I am not remembering, and I wish I had made a notebook like the person above :sad:(((
     
  11. My cousin Joseph aged 3 was talking about his new 'Rosemary Beans' instead of saying his rosemary beads.

    At the pre-school where I work last week:

    1) A 3 year old told a story about her Dad and then said "I was laughing my head off". It sounded so funny come from someone so tiny! Especially with her posh little accent it sounded like she was saying "larfing".

    2) A little boy pointed to another boy in front of the other boys mother and said really loud "that's not a boy!". It was so embarrasing and I found it really heard not to get the giggles. It was because the other child had had an accident and ended up wearing pink trousers (the only pair we had) he also had quite long hair.
     
  12. I come from a big family and a HUGE extended family...so I am always hearing hysterical things:
    - (after eating a huge meal) "I am SO FULL...F-O-O-L!!"
    - My baby cousins (aged 3 and 5) were taking a bath together...the 5 yr old brother looks at his sister and asks his mom "Mommy, why does Haley have two butts...one in the front and one in the back!!!"

    There are many more...but those are my faves :yes:
     
  13. My seven-year-old son is crazy. He always talks about God and has a ton of questions. His most recent questions were:

    Does God have hair?
    Does God have a moustache? (WTF? I don't even know anyone with a moustache!-LOL)
     
  14. OMG Two butts~ LOL:roflmfao:
     
  15. Fashion_Hunter: thanks for posting these quotes! They were very humourous and enjoyable to read! Very cute, lol! :lol:

    It's always wonderful to see things through a child's eyes! :tender: