Only 20yrs old..

  1. I've been thinking lately and I find it strange. I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year but it's definitely something serious and everyone knows it. Now lately I've noticed as my life keeps progressing forward, got my AA degree going for my BA, making a decent earning, settled with a great man, that maybe within a few years or so I might end up getting married and wanting a house.

    Is it strange or peculiar that I am already wanting all these things that might be years ahead of me?

    Also, when is it a good time/age to get married or move in together, before getting married?

    HAPPY NEW YEAR BTW :smile:
     
  2. I don't think it's at all strange to think and plan for your future. I personally am not a fan of moving in and/or getting married very young but I know everyone is different. I have been quoted as saying no one should get married until they're 30! But the reason for this is you are such a different person at 30 than you are at 20, and you know much more of what you want from life. Plus, you're most likely more financially stable at 30 than 20 and this obviously helps the relationship work better. But of course, do what works best for you!
     
  3. I would definitely move in with someone to see if it works before I get married. Two of my best friends have been together for 8 years, got married last year and had a baby. They are now 24 and 25 and very happy.
     
  4. lorihmatthews - ALOT of people that I know that have been divorced, seperated, don't have healthy relationships always say never to get married young and I don't want to jinx myself either. But I guess that has to do with people settling down with their first love as well =/ it all varies I suppose.

    I just want a house to call my own and being with my boyfriend does take alot of the stress I have, but it is smart to live at home even though you dislike it, just to save up lots :smile:

    deelove - glad to hear it worked out great for your friends. My sister and her boyfriend had been dating for 9 years before he proposed and they got married 2yrs later - but their patience paid off because they have a beautiful house now, even though my sister did want to marry much sooner. She is now 26 and he will be 28 soon, they need to give me some nephews/nieces! lol
     
  5. i met my bf in college, i was in my 3rd year, so i was like 21?
    and we both stay with our friends and renting a house, so i stayed in his house a lot, vice versa.
    then when i started to work, i gradually moving in with him.
    no words spoken, just i stayed a lot in his place, he was still staying with a couple of friends and we hang out together.
    then on our 2nd yrs relationship, he rent a house alone, and we started to live together.
    i never asked him about marriage, sometimes he asked but i still don't feel like to tie my self in law.
    now i'm 28, we were still living together, until a few months ago we're having a relationship problem and i moved out.
    we're still fixing things together but i don't want to go back living with him straight away.
    we'll just take things slowly from now.

    i feel so lucky to have lived with him for all those years, no matter how it'll end for us. you'll know a certain people in a different way when you live together, i think it helps to do this before marriage decided.
    some old people said that it's not good to live together before marriage because you might not get to the marriage phase.
    i think it's all not true.
    if you have lived together before marriage, you already know what you're dealing with and you can escape from that more easily when things didn't work out.

    but hey, that's just me :p
     
  6. i don't think it's strange. then again, i'm 22 and we'll be celebrating our third wedding anniversary in may (we've been together 5 years all told). i also grew up in a religious culture where very young marriages after only dating a short time is the norm. my husband will finish his degree in march and we're hoping to buy a house this year.

    we didn't believe in living together first so that cut a couple of dating years out....and probably saved our relationship! he's said a few times (not meanly, just as statement of fact) that he's glad we decided not to live together because he wouldn't have married me. :smile: we've been through some really amazing times and some not so amazing times. i am SO looking forward to sharing so much better and so much worse with him. :smile:

    all that said, it really depends on the couple. for us and our values system, marriage works. all the growing up i've needed to do (and will do) was better/easier because he did it with me. i never would have felt this close to him or let him help me like he has (and vice versa) if we'd merely been dating all this time. we bring out the best qualities in each other and i couldn't imagine not having him in my life every day. but i also know plenty of people that have been together twice as long as we have in very strong dating relationships....some of whom definitely should NOT get married yet.

    only you can decide what's right for you, your relationship, and your life. for us anyway, to quote when harry met sally: "when you finally find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
     
  7. I agree it's not strange at all! I'm working on getting my BA (should be done by this year) and I've been with my bf for coming up on 6 years now.
    I'm thinking about where I'm going to go for my Master's, where I'm going to work, etc. and I just turned 21 in November, so don't feel bad!
     
  8. It's not strange, but it's also good that you're thinking carefully.
     


  9. I don't have someone to live with at the moment, but if I did, I wouldn't want to!!
    Living seperately before the wedding is such a smart idea (but there are good reasons to live together too). It seems like if if you and your spouse live together before you're married, your actual wedding day/night isn't as special...

    it's different for everyone, but I've already chose not to live with my future hubby!
     
  10. I met my husband when I was eighteen, and we got married when I was 22, and had our son immediately. We just celebrated our 10th anniversary, and I wouldn't change a thing about the way my life has worked out. I am so...glad that I had my kids early, as my friends are just having children now. When it came to me and my husband, I knew he was the one for me...so why wait???? P.S. We did live together before we got married!!
     
  11. I lived with my boyfriend over the summer while doing an internship near his area (we are long distance), and it only made us want to be together more. It's a personal opinion for everyone, but I think it is okay to live with your man. We plan to find work near each other after we graduate, and live together until what happens. We are honest about our relationship, have good and bad moments, but really love each other and respect our own space. It doesn't matter what age you find someone.... when you find him, celebrate and cherish it! All the best of luck to you!
     
  12. My bf's wife left him with a 3 month old and a 3 yr old when he was 25. I think getting married/having kids when very young is a bad idea in general. JMHO wait until you are 27-30. :yes:

    (again.. jmho!! )
     
  13. I don't think it is strange at all!! I was one of those kids who knew exactly what I wanted at a very young age, I was married when I was 19, my hubby was 25 at the time, we have now been married very happily for almost 4 years, we both have excellent jobs, and a very settled. A lot of my friends thought I was crazy, but I really didn't give a **** because I knew I was happy. I knew he was the love of my life the first time I saw him (I know that is so cliche'), so I didn't hesitate. We didn't live together before we were married, we both come from very religious families, and I am glad we didn't, but I have lots of friends who have moved in with their BF's and are very happy. I think everybody just moves at their own pace.
     
  14. i'm not a proponent of marrying young - i've had so many older and wiser friends advise me against it that i can't see how it's advantageous. if they're the right person for you, then what's the harm in dating a few more years while you mature and learn about yourself and your relationship before your bring the law into your private life? you just might learn some things that make you realize that you weren't right, which is what happened to me and my ex. we were together for about a year and a half, and we lived together for the last 6 months. i'm glad i lived with him, because it made it obvious that the relationship was not right for me.
     
  15. oh. not that it matters...but i'm 23 not 22. i keep forgetting i had a birthday six months ago. :shame: mental block perhaps? :smile: