On early miscarriage...

  1. Did you, or someone you know, have an early miscarriage? If so, share your story so other tPFers going thru this might be able to relate... that includes me, too! And feel free to post information/facts that may be helpful to those of going thru this ordeal.

    Here's my story: 10/28 – Was late for my period so I did a home test and found out I was pregnant! It was utterly unexpected and definitely unplanned because my DH and I were already perfectly contented and incredibly blessed with our 6 yr. old DS and 3 yr. old DD. Plus, I’m 38 and he’s 52 so we were ready to enjoy traveling and I was going to get my Master’s possibly PsyD or PhD in Psychology. But life can be unpredictable… so with further verification via urine analysis at Planned Parenthood, we eventually grew more and more accepting and even excited at the prospect of adding another member to our family.

    Deep down, I was very concerned about the effect an anti-depressant (Cymbalta) and ADD med (Strattera) may have had on my developing fetus. Altho I did stop taking the meds cold turkey as soon as I found out on 10/28, those drugs were already in my system when I conceived either on 10/14 or 11/14. And right now, those drugs are considered not safe to take during pregnancy or while nursing. So as much as I wanted to be competely happy about the pregnancy… I was really quite worried.

    12/12 - My first OB exam for this pregnancy. Needed to find out exactly how far along I was… not sure if first day of my last menstrual period was 10/1 (12 weeks pregnant) or possibly 10/29 (7 weeks). Important to know because at my age, certain tests for genetic counseling can only take place between 11-13 weeks.

    My doctor checked my fundus (top of uterus) and cervix to try to determine how far along I was, but could not determine it. Then she took out the Doppler for a heartbeat check. Unfortunately, we did not hear a baby’s heartbeat (which was probably good, for my sake).

    I was then sent over to the nearby hospital for an ultrasound, and possibly even an internal ultrasound to determine how far along I was. After dealing with a very rude and sarcastic female ultrasound tech (more on her behavior later), she left the room and then about 15 minutes later the phone rang in the room I was in, tech returned to hand the phone to me. It was a doctor from my obstetrical practice. He told me that I had miscarried.

    My DH could not attend either the OB visit or ultrasound because he had to pick up our other kids. Only the ultrasound tech could console me. She determined that I was 8 weeks and 2 days into my pregnancy. And she gave me a little picture. When I got home, I sat the kids in front of some video and had a heart to heart with DH. I think he’s much more upset about this than I am. But after talking and reading him some facts and myths about the cause of miscarriage... he's feeling a little better now.

    12/13 - Just came back from my pre-surgical appointment with my obstetrician. I'm electing to have a D & E (dilation and evacuation) tomorrow morning.
     
  2. thank you for sharing. Miscarriage used to be so hush-hush, but it is a part of life and SOOOO common.

    I had one "true" miscarriage and several chemical pregnancies. My true miscarriage came after we were trying for 6 months. It seemed to take FOREVER to get pregnant after being successful our first month with baby #1. So, after our 7th attempt, we were successful and even though I had a positive test in front of me, it didn't feel right. I just knew it wasn't good.

    I happened to find out I was pregnant the 2nd day of our vacation (just like with my first pregnancy) so that was nice as we were with family and we could tell them, but two days before we left, I started bleeding. I was 6 weeks 1 day. I wasn't bleeding heavily or passing tissue, but I knew it wasn't good.

    We came home and I called my doctor. She said that I had miscarried and to call her again if I hadn't stoppe bleeding in two weeks. Two weeks later, I'm still bleeding (sometimes dark, sometimes red - but always bleeding). I had kept temping too because she said if my temps got over 99 degrees to give her a call (first morning temps). And, my temps were the same.. 98.8, 98.7, and so on. My body was acting like it was pregnant. I was also tired, but not the SAME as with my first.

    Finally, my doctor said to come in to the emergency room to be checked as she didn't have the means to do so (This is in Ontario, BTW). They did a blood draw and a pelvic exam and the ER doctor said, "Well, you are pregnant." And I said, "No, I'm not. I might have been, but I'm sure I've miscarried, but not completely." He didn't believe me. My HSG was like 150,000, but for 8 weeks 4 days (which I was) that number should have been triple that (or more). But the ER doctor seemed unconcerned.

    The ONLY, ONLY reason I was able to get an ultrasound was because I am RH negative. He said, "Call this number and schedule the Ultrasound." I go home and call and they said they had an opening in three months. I kid you not!!! (This is what universal health care in Canada is like). I call the doctor back and she said to go back to the ER and demand an emergency ultrasound to determine if the pregnancy was viable or to see if it was a molar pregnancy or a missed miscarriage.

    So, back I go the next day. Again, another doctor sees me and says, "Well, you've miscarried. Why do you need an ultrasound?" I tell her, I have been bleeding for 2 weeks and 4 days, my morning temps are still high and I've passed no tissue. Something isn't right. Again, she saw no problem.... only when she saw the RH negative did she OK the ultrasound.

    Now, the first day my husband wasn't with me, but the second day he was, but they wouldn't let him in the exam room. I NEEDED him in the exam room with me, but nope. So, she does an internal and there's a sac, but it's empty. I have a placenta growing and it's trying to tear away for a miscarriage, but it needed "help". So, I hear the call from the Tech - no heartbeat... what a way to find out a MUCH wanted pregnancy isn't going to be even though I knew already... there's still that glimmer of hope, you know?

    So.. I go back down and they offer me a D&C or a series of pills. I opt for the pills. I had NO IDEA what to expect, but I didn't expect BIG pieces of tissue... that was the most startling. I was at work (my most busy week of the year) and passing TREMENDOUS amounts of tissue (and blood clots)... gross and scary.

    The actual loss of the baby (which maybe never even formed) was far less than what the miscarriage was... so bad.

    Unfortunately, we experienced another 2 years of infertility and after the miscarriage it took a good year for my cycles to become completely normal again. It was only when we said "enough trying" and were about to go back to using birth control again, did I become pregnant. A MONTH After selling all the baby stuff! Go figure.

    He's now 2 years old and 8 months
     
  3. I didn't catch that this is happening THIS VERY MINUTE!!! I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know you weren't planning it and that you were worried about the medication, but that doesn't mean that this baby and this pregnancy didn't mean a LOT to you.

    I know when I was pregnant with Henry (my youngest) it was a sort of "surprise" as we had sold everything and had moved into a home where being a stay at home mom would be VERY difficult. We knew, that if something happened with that pregnancy, there wouldn't be another which just added the extra worry.

    I don't know what you and DH plan and now is not the time to make decisions about it either... just grieve and take it one day at a time. Did your other kids know? They will need grieving time too if they knew.
     
  4. Sorry for your loss! Many hugs for you and your family...
     
  5. ((((hugs))))
     
  6. I'm so sorry for your loss GyrlLayney!!!
     
  7. I am so sorry you are going through this. No matter how a person feels about a pregnancy, a miscarriage is a terrible thing to go through. Most other people cannot understand the depth of feeling you can have, even at such an early gestational age. But it isn't just the baby we mourn; it is the loss of the potential and the dream we had built around that baby.

    I had one miscarriage, and it was considerably less traumatic in the medical sense than many others. We were TTC and had been for several months so I was taking pregnancy tests all the time. I got a positive about 5 days before my next scheduled period. We were elated and I felt pregnant right away. I walked around with my hand on my still-flat belly and started making name lists.

    About 5 days after my period would normally arrive, it came very heavy and very painful. The pregnancy tests I took about a week afterwards were negative. I hadn't even had a chance to see a dr. yet, and I probably never would have known about it had we not been trying and testing. But we were still devastated. I was lucky to conceive the next month and had a healthy 9.5 lb boy, but even with how early it was, that miscarriage was one of the most emotionally painful things I've gone through.
     
  8. I'm so sorry for you and your family.
     
  9. Oh no! I'm so sorry!!
     
  10. oh my sistah!! i'm so sorry to hear about your loss.. i'm so excited about you having a new sweetie...
     
  11. GyrlLayney,I honestly can't imagine what you're going through, but I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for your loss!
     
  12. I am very sorry for your loss too. I know how devasting it can be. Here is my story...I miscarried 4 years ago.

    One day I was at work (was about 10 weeks along) and noticed that I had a brown discharge when I went to the bathroom. I called my doctor and they had me come in. They tried to do an ultrasound in the office but something was not working. They had me call the women's center at the local hospital and I was able to schedule the ultrasound the next day. So I went hopeful. The tech took all my information and started doing an internal ultrasound. She asked me if I was sure of the date of my last period. I said yes. She said she saw the sac and fetal pole but that was it. So she left the room and called my doctor. I knew things were not good. So she came back in and had me talk to one of the doctors in my group. This dr. was new and kind of young. She said to me give it a week and go back for another ultrasound. She said that maybe we were wrong with the dates.

    So I made the appt. for the following week and left. When I got home I did a lot of research on the net. I knew in my heart that I was having a miscarriage. I did a lot of crying that week. What made things worse for me was that my sister was 6 months pregnant at the time and was having a normal pregnancy. I went back a week later and the results were the same. The doctor had me come into the office and told me my options. I asked for a D&C as soon as possible. I needed this to be over so I could recover. They were able to squeeze me in the next morning and it was over. The doctor sent the tissue out for testing to see what caused the miscarriage. A few months later they called me with the results. The fetus had chromosomal abnormalities.

    My husband had a really tough time after the D&C. I think seeing my sister being pregnant made things worse for him. But we were lucky because we ended up conceiving my son 3 months later. I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason. I wouldn't have the wonderful little boy that I have now if things didn't happen the way they did.

    On a side note, I never realized how often miscarriages happen. It was something that I didn't talk about....didn't think that I knew anyone that had one...but I was wrong. Once I told people that I had one, I heard all the stories about how they had one or knew somebody that had them. There is a lot of support out there. Hearing all those stories somehow helped me get through it. If you need to talk, please feel free to PM me.
     
  13. Kimmi, juicy couture jen, envyme, kcf68, omgsweet, brasilian_babe and angel... thank you so much for your warmth and hugs :heart: Taking time out to extend sympathy...really did my sad heart some good :flowers:
     
  14. Berryblondeboys - your wonderful post really touched me - thank you! It's good to know that the runaround they gave you everywhere did end with you not giving up and getting what you wanted AND most of all NEEDED! Fortunately, I never heard a heartbeat at my doctor's office and the u/s tech did not tell me ANYTHING about what she was seeing and even pulled the monitor close to her so I could not see what she was viewing. I had no clue about what was happening until I spoke to my doctor on the phone. What an ordeal you went thru with the second pregnancy then miscarriage... but I am glad to hear that you were ultimately successful during your third pregnancy and you added a second child to your family! :heart:
     
  15. I am so very sorry for your loss, too. But t's good to hear that you did conceive a month later :yes: And what a big boy you had! Even tho my dh and I are average height/slim people, I vaginally :sweatdrop: delivered both our first (9.10 3/4 lbs.) and our second (9.2)! Aren't chubby Buddha-babies the best?