Now ... This is official, right?

  1. Where do I start?

    From the beginning, I guess. My SO and I had been going out for close to 4 years now, we've done the long distance thing for more than 2 years and are still doing it. He's in Singapore, and I'm in Los Angeles. He's not a U.S. Citizen (nor is he a PR in Singapore) but I am a U.S. citizen.

    Earlier this May, we had a talk about where we were relationship-wise. He said since I didn't like status quo, then I should consider ourselves "engaged". He didn't tell his family, not even his older sister who lived right downstairs (his folks were out of country). He told me he would tell his parents if they asked.

    Needless to say, I didn't believe him and figured that he was just saying what I needed to hear to keep me around. I told myself that if he didn't tell his folks the next time he saw them, I'm walking (I didn't tell him that though). Actually, I didn't have much faith in him because in this relationship, he had always been the commitment-phobic one.

    Then last Friday, I was chatting with him online when out of nowhere, he said, "Btw, I told my parents about the engagement." He said his parents wanted to meet my parents, and that I didn't have anything to worry about when it comes to his family.

    Now, his family wasn't into the whole ring thing so i wasn't expecting a ring. It just came as a surprise to me that he actually told his parents. So my question is ... now the engagement IS really official, right? I feel that it is as official as it's going to get. What do you guys think?

    I think I'm still in shock, actually.

    And now ... how do I find a decent job in Singapore? I can't imagine them wanting to hire someone out of the country when they can hire the locals. i am trying to get into consulting because that has ALWAYS been my dream job since I have a passion for solving problems (I don't mind if I have to come in as an entry-level analyst as long as I can get into consulting), and consultants are at every corner of the world - which makes finding a job when moving much easier ... Now if the engagement is a reality (which my feeling and hunch are telling me so), then job hunt has definitely become even more pressing

    Oh yah, so the original question ... does this seem like an official engagement? I know I really sound like a broken record right now, but I think that's because the news still hadn't sunk in
     
  2. YES!!!! That sounds official, but if you have any doubts at all, then you need to have a sit down with him!!!

    Oh Kou, I am so happy for you! I am from the old school thought where you don't need a ring to be "official". It's nice, but its just icing on the cake! I just want you to be happy, and if this is the one for you, then I wish you a very happy, and long life together!


    Big hugs girl! You deserve all the happiness in the world!
     
  3. Congrats! I'm sure you can find a job in Spore but it may be harder at first? I'm kinda the opposite, I moved to US to be wth my DH, and started looking for a job 1 mth ago? still no news :sad:...but then, I'll just have to wait for the right opportunity I guess..and stay positive?
    NO worries....good luck!
     
  4. Congrats :smile: It's official if you both agree it is, lol. Just be happy! hehe.

    Aw. I'm having problems finding a new job too :sad: I have a degree and experience, but nobody wants me :p
     
  5. Jag, thank you! *hugs*. I think it's pretty solid. For him to actually do something like this is a huge step for him. At the moment, I'm the one who hadn't told my parents, but that's because I'm waiting for a godo time to do so - which won't happen without my finding that consulting job first

    Minami, my SO and I had an agreement. If I love my current job and am doing better than he is, then he will come to the U.S.. But if I hate my current job and am not going anywhere with that job (which is true with my current job right now as there's a salary and promotion freeze at the company for the next 2 years), then I move. However, I don't feel safe about moving to another place without having found a job first. Also, I know I cannot forgive myself if the job I found does not pay the same as my current one in the states (which is already 15k below the median as it is).

    xfeliciax, unfortunately in this case ... I'm not white :sweatdrop:. I'm Asian even though I'm an American citizen. Consulting is what I want to do right now, and it actually doesn't have to do with the fact that my SO is in Singapore ... I've wanted to get into consulting for several years now but am trying now because I wanted to get more experience first to give myself a better chance at it ... I'm okay with consulting job at ANY countries in the world as long as it is consulting, since I know I'll love the nature of the work anyway; not to mention it will allow me to find another consulting job in the event that I really have to move ...

    Darwin, thank you!! Yeah, I don't know why ppl say that the job market is good right now because I'm definitely not feeling it. In fact, they were saying that Orange County has one of the lowest unemployment rates and highest chance of getting a job right now. While I'm currently employed, I feel that the report is definitely biased and inaccurate. My qualification is not bad (this is coming from someone who is very hard on herself), but I'm having a tough time to get noticed. I'm trying to build up some network but it's pretty hard.
     
  6. Kou, congrats!!!!!

    I am really happy for you. I have been married for 22 years now and communication is everything. I also think you DESERVE a ring (whether you want one or not!!!!!!). Since you have these unsure feelings, mark the engagement in some way so you can look back at it years from now and tell your 'little ones' that 'that was the day Mommy and Daddy got engaged'.

    I wish you the very best and we will open a bottle of bubbly in Vegas!
     
  7. CONGRATULATIONS! That's so exciting :yahoo: . Good luck with everything!
     
  8. Hi there. sorry a bit off topic but yeah, I have a degree and experience too..went for numerous interviews but no actual offer, had one that I didn't really like so I rejected..hmm but im glad DH is supportive AND I havent had a break in ages! so I guess I should think along the lines "enjoy it while you can" hehe
    good luck for your job search too!:yes:

    Kou,
    I'm not sure about immigration laws in Singapore, but it has been done before..so no worries...but I disagree that you should worry cause you're Asian...I've worked with many Singaporeans before, it does not mean that you're white then its easier to find a job there...if that's the case, why would Singapore companies hire so many Malaysians?? Just my opinion and my knowledge on the Sporean way of doing business..(I worked for a Singaporean owned stockbroking company)

    Good luck to you though!:yes:
     
  9. Congrats!!! :yahoo:

    This is different than the 'normal' engagement path... so since you have any questions about how it all went down, ask him!!! Just call or whatever you can do and say- so are we engaged, as in engaged to get married? And just keep talking it out!!!

    Let us know, and good luck!!!
     
  10. Congrats, Kou!!! I'm thrilled for you!:yahoo: Yes, I'm with jag, you don't need a ring for it to be "official".
     
  11. Megs has given you excellent advice! I hope all works out as you want it to, and that the two of you begin what will be a lifelong habit of Communication, Communication, and more Communication!

    (And I have been quite gloriously happily married for over ten years without a ring, so I think it's safe to say they are optional) :biggrin:
     
  12. Congratulations Kou!!!! :yahoo: It sounds official to me ;)
     
  13. Hi Kou!!! I Am So Happy For You!!! :smile: ......I Wish You Much Love & Happiness at This Special Time & Always!!!!!!!
     
  14. Congrats Annie. Wishing you all the best....for the exciting future ahead.