Night Terrors !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  1. Hi , I`m sat here very tired !!! my 3 year old is having problems at night and its affecting the whole family!!
    Its got to the stage now where its a stuggle to even get her to bed!!!
    She won`t go to bed because she says there are Monsters in her room!!!
    All the reasoning in the world and she`s still getting up 3 or 4 times in the night saying that she has Monsters in her room!!
    Its affecting everyone as she is waking us all up , my 7 year old has gone to school today in a daze!!
    Husband in a Foul mood saying I`ve got to sort her out, as he has to work and can not as he is so tired.
    Any suggestions most welcome XXXXX
  2. Can you sleep with her for a while? Or do you think it will be difficult to sever that in the future?

    Perhaps a night light?

    Can you read to her before bed to make sure she falls asleep while you're still there? Rub her bottom/back? I used to love it when my mum would draw pictures on my back - she would probably do it for 15-20mins, but for me (as a 3-4 year old) that felt like ages and it was always a struggle to keep my eyes open. Be warned, though, this only works if you leave after the child has fallen asleep.

    Perhaps there's a deeper reason - is there something in the room that scares her? Has she seen something on TV that she keeps thinking about?

    I know what Super Nanny would do, but that seems harsh...
  3. Thanks for your reply,

    You know I think thats where I have gone wrong in the first place , always stayed with her until she had gone to sleep, now when she wakes in the night instead of settling herself she is looking for mummy!!

    I think she needs to learn how to be on her own (so to speak)
    you can not be with your kids 24/7,at bed time I stay and read her several stories
    and she has a very pretty Trousselier night light and lots and lots of nice things in her room(tried to make as nice as possible!!)

    I just don`t know how to get her to settle without me, I think she say`s about monsters because mummy is not in the room with her!

    As much as I would like to stay with her all night it is not good for ones marriage!!

    Mean while we are all very tired XXXX
  4. This may sound cold, but sometimes hubby just has to sleep on the sofa. If your child is that frightened, that upset, then she needs you more than he does. I'm the mom of three and DH has spent MANY a night in either the guest room or the sofa; that's just the way it needs to be sometimes.

    At this age, her fear is REAL. As real as your fear of bugs or heights or whatever you fear is. Only in a calm state can she deal with her fear. The "sink or swim" attitude doesn't really work and it's mean. So, come up with a game plan. A night lite, a special smelling "monster spray" that you spray under the bed, in the closet, where-ever. Go through the routine of checking everywhere with her. If she needs to sleep with you, fine, let her. No child winds up sleeping with you forever; her behavior at this age is normal; going from fear to being "queen of the hill" confident over night is normal too.

    THe worst thing you can do is to tell you she MUST stay in her room and NOT come to you when she is frightened. There are those that will say "bull-crap", but the lessons learned (on many levels) at this age tend to last a long, long time. I see it all too frequently.

    And yes, my sons have had night terrors also. So I DO understand how you're feeling. Hugs.
  5. Thanks and I do agree, its just I`ve heard so many times that if you bring them into your bed you then have another problem to deal with.
    Its so hard knowing whats best in the long run for everyone.
  6. I agree with CJJ

    I've got a 2 and a 3 year old girls who also keep having night terrors...
    even if they sleep with us... they have their own bed in our room,
    but also still transfer in our bed sometimes...

    My husband and i dont mind....
    everyone tells us they are only babies for a short time so enjoy them...

    I know what the super nanny and child psychologist say about this...
    but my husband and i both try to cherish every waking and sleeping moments with our children...
    they wont be dependent on us forever and soon very soon they probably wont even want to come out of their own rooms! LOL!

    and I also remember that as a child...
    i had really bad night terrors and my parents were always there for me...:love:
    i dont think it messed me up...LOL!

    As for it being bad for marriage....
    the situation actually made for more creative ways for us to be intimate.... :blush:

    this is just how we handle the night terrors...
    hope you find a way that will be best for your family too... HUGS!:flowers:
  7. Thanks so much for all your replies, I told my husband last night that if she cried he had to bring her into our bed ( I had to go away for the night)

    When I returned this morning I asked how he had got on, he gave me a funny look and replied great !!!

    She had got up again in the night screaming so he had brought her into our bed and he said she was asleep again within 15 mins.
    The only problem was that he woke up this morning in a veeeery wet bed !!!!

    But thats another problem altogether :lol::lol::lol:.
  8. I know it sounds annoying, but how about sleeping on the floor in her bedroom for a little or just sitting at her doorway for a little until she falls asleep, then you won't fall into the pattern of having to sleep WITH her. It can be really traumatic, I had night terrors when I was little. Just try to talk with her more and more about the "monsters" and try to make her realize she is safe. Maybe get some books out at the library that you can read to her. Or you can have a special "safe" blankie or night light for her.

    My son had night terrors, but in a different way. He is 4 now and had them from about 2 1/2 until about 3 1/2 or so. He would just start screaming in the middle of the night and crying so hard, not even opening his little eyes and it would go on for like 30 mintues! We'd have to turn lights on and shake him was just bad.
  9. I remember waking up at night, screaming about Mr. McGregor (the guy from the Peter Rabbit books. I was afraid he'd come after me with his rake).

    I don't remember my parents necessarily sleeping with me, but either one of them would stay with me until I've calmed down and gone back to sleep.

    While they were calming me, they'd ask me to tell them about it.
  10. Night terrors are usually a sign of some kind of stress. But they are different than the child waking up and being afraid of monsters. It's really no good for the children or the parents because everyone needs their sleep at night. My advice would be at a time when your daughter is calm and receptive tell her that you have come up with a great idea. On Saturday (or another day where the two of you have time) tell her that you and her TOGETHER are going to "clean" her room from top to bottom, every nook and cranie, with the "special monster repellent" cleaner that you bought for HER and make sure that no monsters (explaining first that monsters don't exist, but this is extra protection) can ever get near her room.
    Then the two of you together will "clean" her room and when you are finished you tell her what a great job she did, and how no monsters will EVER be able to go near her room again after the spectacular job that SHE did cleaning and protecting it.

    This will give her the feeling that she has taken part in overcoming her own fear and will also make her feel more in control of the situation.

    After that, if it creeps up again, you may want to have a conversation with her and talk about if there is anything else bothering her or something that she feels afraid of and is possibly "transferring to monsters". Good luck!!
  11. My son used to get them at that age. We solved the problem by filling a spray bottle of water and put some glitter in it and said it was monster spray and would get rid of any monsters. He would spray a few squirts in his room and was quite happy to do it. No matter what one says at that age a monster is real and saying they don't exist does not seem to get through to them because they don't believe it. I also bought a sound machine (for about $35.00). It had sounds of the ocean, rain, ect.....and played that at night. You could set it for a 1/2 hour or what ever time you wanted. I had lullaby cd's too. They all worked and I started to play music and the sound machine when my daughter was born and she never had a problem sleeping.
    Good luck. Those night terrors are so scary for the little ones and it's hard to sit by and try to figure out what to do. I have had those glow in the dark plastic stars/moon, ect. stick on things put on the ceiling and if you use a invisible ink pen light (buy at the dollar store) they make these stick on things glow brighter--so my kids used to have fun playing with this when they were in bed and the only time you could do this was at night. It was fun for them.
    There are also some great relaxing CD bedtime tapes that have all sorts of music and tell a story and have your child learn how to relax. My kids loved these and would usually fall asleep in 10 minutes. I still use them and my kids are 9 + 12.
  12. Brilliant Idea the Monster spray!!!
    We now have a bottle which we spray around the room before going to bed, it works, it really works!!
    Thanks so much XXXXXXXX
  13. We are going thru similar stuff with our 2 yrs 9 mo son. Last week I made him 'protectors' (out of the translucent plastic covers to take-out food containers; some are round, some are rectangular) that each do something to 'keep him safe and happy'. DS's big fear at the moment is loud noises or big animals so some of the protectors - which all are smiley-type faces - have big mouths to eat up any noises! These are hanging all over his room. The most important thing we have found is not to negate any fears and to let him talk about anything and everything and let him actively take part in helping 'fix' it all -- same premise as the 'monster spray'. Good luck!
  14. Maybe hang one of those dreamcatchers in her bedroom?

    You could buy one, or it might be fun to make one with her.
  15. I was in psych class last night learning about sleep and dreams when my professor started talking about night terrors. I immediately thought of this thread and thought I should pay attention to report back to you! (haha)

    I'll try to explain... my professor said that scientists believe that night terrors are due to the developement of the medulla in your brain. It seems that the medulla hasn't matured/developed as it should have. As they get older, it will get more mature, and they shouldn't have any problems sleeping.

    The undeveloped medulla seems to send random signals which is what scares the person. The example she used was the person sleeping might hear a loud BANG or crash, but really there was no noise.

    I hope that helps! Please look up more info, as I am a bad listener in class!