Nicole broke my tooth. Watch for me on the next Super Nanny.

  1. So...I just got back from the dentist, getting my tooth temporarily fixed.

    This afternoon while I was punishing Nicole (I was kneed down on her level), she head butted me in the mouth and broke my bottom middle-right tooth. Thank God the tooth wasn't all the way broken, and they'll be doing bonding rather than having to put on a crown.

    I don't know what to do with this child anymore. Anytime you try to speak seriously to her, she'll either headbutt you or she'll smak you in the face, scream and stomp her feet. I'm not her mother, but she is NOT disciplined in any way at home. Her parents both laugh when she hits them and say something along the lines of "She's so cute, haha!" and it's not helping those of us who actually spend time (ie. all day) with her while the two of them are off to work.
     
  2. that would be unacceptable to me. they are teaching her to be abusive, which itself is abusive. I couldn't work for people like that personally. You can't force the parents to see what they are doing wrong. You're gonna have to decide if its worth it I guess cause you'll have to suck it up. I would tell the parents why I'm leaving and I would also tell the kid too. (something like, "its not right that you hit people. you need to stop, because no one likes it anymore than you do.) That truth will stick in her mind forever. (I know, I'm a hard ass.)
     
  3. I tend to be pretty hard with her too, and I feel bad about it since she's my cousin...But thank God I won't be doing this too much longer. Monday is my last "all-day/all-week" day. Then it'll just be once a week for an hour or so.

    I already called my aunt and uncle. They're paying to have my tooth fixed, and I'll be sure to have a long talk with them tonight about how they need to do something about her NOW before she becomes a terror child later.
     
  4. oh my you are related to her as well? bummer. well, if she does something physical again, I think I would just tell her that her behavior is unnacceptable and go into another room. tell her you don't want to be around her when she does that to you. then after she mellows out and acts like a nice person again, give her a big hug. try the positive reinforcement approach. if that doesn't work, tell her a big monster is going to eat her tonight..... (just kidding!)
     
  5. I would be punishing her for a lonnnnng time! lol If she's such a terror she would not be allowed to do anything fun all day long. I hate it when parents are lax about their bratty kids because like you said they do not discipline her so therefore you have to put up with her!! I feel for you!
     
  6. This kind of behavior from a child is a cry for attention. Children will seek attention any way they can, whether that be in a good way or bad way. Hitting, biting, and the like, are all stages alot of children go through but it is because they do not understand how to EXPRESS their frustration or emotions. They need to be taught how to express emotions. That is a parents job, not a babysitter's or cousin's. If something is not done to correct the problem this little girl will become a monster and then it will take even longer to reverse all the behavior that has already been done. I know this cannot be an easy situation for you....but look at it this way, your helping the child, by talking to her parents, your helping the child. They obviously need a wake up call and if you don't do it, then who? Good luck with this, I hope you can make them understand how this really needs to be addressed.
     
  7. Oooohhh, trust me. There will be a long talk and I'll be frank and straight forward with my aunt and uncle. They're too scared to punish her. They're scared that if they punish her, she won't love them anymore. Maybe it's my years of nannying or that one parenting class that I took in high school - but I've learned that it's okay and good to discipline children in healthy way to help them grow into good and responsible young adults.

    I give her time outs, speak firmly with her, and I try with everything that I can not to whack her on the butt sometimes (It's not strong enough to be a spank, but it's not a playful pat on the butt) - but sometimes it's the only thing that I can think of to do. Sure, she hates me for about 5 minutes, but after then she's over it and back to being her playful self. She only really does things like this when she's punished. She's used to being able to say "I DON'T WANT TO!!" when told to do something or "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY!!!" when told to do something else...but with me that just doesn't work..and I won't let it work because I care enough about her to hope to help her become a good and responsible young person...
     
  8. I think parents do their children a terrible disservice when they allow them to behave like this. I wish you luck, it's hard to remember that it's not her fault while it's occurring.
     
  9. Oh yes, it is absolutely OK and good to discipline children...and essential! I'm sorry, but if a parent thinks that if they punish a child they won't love them anymore...well, that's a crock. It is a huge disservice to a child's well being NOT to discipline them. This does include punishment.

    It sounds like you are doing the best you can to lay down some boundaries, but there is only so much one can do if one is not the parent.

    I wish you well for a speedy recovery with your tooth and for that conversation you will have with the parents. :flowers:
     
  10. OMG... that's horrible. at first I thought she was your's (thank goodness she isnt huh?) and then I read that you're babysitting!! that's unacceptable for her to do that to anyone, let alone her aunt!

    i hope your aunt and uncle does something about their abusive child
     
  11. How old is Nicole????
     
  12. sounds like the kid needs a good spanking. Yes I know it isn't cool to hit your kids but there are times when the punishment should fit the crime and if the parents are laughing and saying oh how cute when she does this then this kid is in for a pretty miserable life!
     
  13. Ok... I haven't read anything before this since your original post, hon. I can tell you what worked for me after having twin boys that are 9 years old. I had read in a parenting book/mag (can't remember) to put them in their bed/crib for a nuimber of minutes of the years that they are old. I have to say, I have done it from day 1 and it has ALWAYS helped. Even my friends. I always explain to them afterwards why they were in the position they were. It has worked to this day (they are 9) and they appreciate my honesty and I appreciate their disputes)
     
  14. She's 3.

    Yep, I do that too :smile: haha. 3 minutes for each year she is old. I usually put her on a special chair that she has in the kitchen.

    So...I got my tooth fixed this morning. Nothing too major, they did the bonding work and all is well. My tooth actually looks almost just like it did before. He did a good job.

    I spoke with my aunt and uncle this morning (they didn't get home until late last night and I went to my boyfriends) and they understand my concerns and they said they're going to try harder. Who knows what that means, but hopefully something will change. My aunt is learning to read English (she speaks German and Polish and is learning English), so I gave her my copy of "The No Cry Sleep Solution" that I bought during one of my college classes - since crying at bedtime is also a big problem for Nicole...*sigh*
     
  15. Lamiastella, based on the conversations we've had about this whole insane situation with your aunt and uncle, I'd venture their idea about "trying harder" is to dump Nicole on your doorstep more often than they already do. Hey, you do such a good job raising their daughter now and you don't cut into their BMW money, why not?.......

    That was nasty sounding, but it's directed at your aunt and uncle, not you. You're so gettting screwed by those two.....:rant:

    Do yourself a favor: don't give them your phone number or address when you leave for university or you'll be raising Nicole AND going to classes.... :censor: