Need your opinion!

  1. OK, I am in kind of a sticky situation and I would love your opinion!

    I have been dating my boyfriend on and off for a little over a year. Our relationship is not great, but it is good enough. We are very comfortable with each other and get along for the most part. We are both students, he works, I don't. A couple of months ago, he told me that his family was having financial problems and that they were calling him every month to borrow money. In total, they have borrowed about $3,000, if not more. He told me that because of this, it has dried up his savings and he asked me to loan him $300 to help him cover Fall tuition. Now, I have a few reservations about this.

    My first concern is that he might not give it back to me. He is a frivolous spender. For example, last Friday night, he went out to the bars and a strip club with a couple of his coworkers and spent almost $300. Tonight, he wanted to go out again with the same coworkers, but I refused to drive him to his coworkers house because he did not consult me when he made the plans to go out with them tonight. (I have a car that my parents gave me, and he does not have one). I have been very generous with allowing him to use my car whenever he wants it, but I told him I would not let him drive if he was planning on drinking.

    My other concern is that I do not work. My parents support me financially because I am a full time student and they do not want me working while I am getting my degree. Whatever spending money I have is what my parents give me each month. I have enough in my savings to cover him and my credit card bill for this month if he cannot pay me back, but I do not want to get him in the habit of asking me for a loan when he is in a tight situation.

    I do not want $300 to come between us because it is such a petty thing. I was reading other posts about friendships that were ruined because of money and I would hate for this to happen. What are your opinions? :idea:
     
  2. Maybe he could apply for a loan at the bank? You shouldn't start working if it will interfere with school.
     
  3. I dont know about that. First off i would probably say no because he spent around $300 frivolously at the club when he knew he was in a tight situation with money. To me that screams irresponsibility(sp?). Secondly, my rule of thumb is would i be able to do without the money if it was not given back to me? If no, then i would NOT loan it out.
     
  4. I would NOT give him any money....#1-how is he ever going to learn responsibilty????if you do it once..he will only come back for more.....Stand strong..he is throwing money around going out..you have NO REASON to lend him ANY.
     
  5. one of my close friends is going through the same situation...her bf spends a crazy amount of $$ on things he can't afford and then she ends up letting him "borrow" the money. don't give in to him. if he was really tight with money, he had no business spending close to $300 at a strip club?!...and now he's going to ask you for that much money to pay for his tuition? sorry, he shouldn't have spent that money on some cheap stripper. stand strong and don't give in to him. if you do it once, he's going to keep coming back to you to ask for more...i've seen it happen with my friend.
     
  6. Gotta agree with Jill, u shouldn't lend him money. $300 is not much but it could be a problem in the future: he can't pay u back, he's asking for more. Given the fact that he went to a strip club and spent $300 and now asking for $300 to cover tuition, that sounds kinda shady to me. JMO
    Best of luck to you, girl.
     
  7. I wouldn't do it.

    There's saying that you should never LOAN friends/family money, if you do, go ahead and choose to give it to them because it's likely you'll never see it again.
    If you go into it assuming you won;t get it back, it can't come between you.

    But I wouldn't do it, if he's looking to spend money frivolously on going out, his prioirities are whack and it's not your job to clean up after him.

    If he was working really hard to make ends meet and stayed home eating JB&J I'd think differently.
     
  8. I agree with everyone. Definitely dont give him the money. How dare he ask you for money and put you in such a spot when he went out and blew it all partying. You have been more than generous with him (lending him your car, etc.). He obviously is acting the same way his family is and doesnt see anything wrong with borrowing money. He needs to learn to be responsible and budget appropriately.
     
  9. I wouldn't give him the money ONLY because he doesn't seem like he's that stressed out.. shoot, he's partying and drinking every night :tispy:
     
  10. Seems like a pretty obvious no. I mean are you really considering giving him $300 after he gave that much to a bunch of strippers?
     
  11. :tispy: :greengrin:
     
  12. If it seemed like he really needed it and was just in a tight situation then I'd say lend it to him...BUT because he just went out and blew $300 at a strip club with his friends I would say definitely don't lend it to him....he seems like he's not very responsible with money and he should know better than to blow $300 at a strip club and then come to you asking to borrow money.
     
  13. I totally agree. I am sorry, but to me he really shouldn't be asking you for all this.
    When I met my DH he was still in college and I was definitely in a better financial situation, however, he never asked me to borrow $3000. What little he did borrow (before we were married) he made up by doing everything from fixing my car to landscaping my house and saving me big bucks. Now that he is out of school, he treats me to special dates and weekends away.
    I think this guy is being awfully careless at your expense. You are young and there are plenty of good guys out there.
    You said your relationship is good, but not great. I think that says it all.
     
  14. Honestly, I think either way the $300 might get in the way of our relationship. I don't think I'd loan him the money if he's a frivilous spender. Is there a possibility that your boyfriend might resent you for not helping him out?
     
  15. Long ago when I was single a wise married friend told me that if you don't get along GREAT when you are dating, then marriage between you won't work out. That you need to get along VERY very well when you are dating because after being married for a while you will fight, everyone does, and if you are already fighting when you are dating that is a bad sign.

    But to me an even worse sign is a boyfriend asking to borrow $300. Forget it!! Not a chance!! Now I know you didn't say the relationship was leading to marriage or anything, but if you are thinking about lending him $300 it seems like you might have long term aspirations here?? ;)