My mum just told me she is embaressed of me..

  1. I'm so upset. It's because I have put on some weight and she is now embaressed of me and keeps telling me not to go anywhere in case people see me and get scared at how fat i have become. :crybaby:
  2. What kind of mother says that and what kind of relationship do we have? I swear she hates my guts..for being born. Thats what it feels like. I can never do anything right in her eyes.
  3. That's horrible!
    I don't know what to say..but you should not care what she says!
    Hugs. :heart:
  4. That's very wrong of her to say. Do you think she may be projecting herself onto you? Is she embarrassed of herself? She obviously has some kind of self-image issue with herself.

    As for you, you are beautiful. I don't even need to see a picture to tell. Just remember, it's what YOU feel inside that counts. Your mother is messed up, and in need of help. It's sad that she cannot give you what mothers should give - unconditional love - but please understand that your mother is not right.

    (((Belini))) I'm glad you came here for support. :flowers:
  5. Has she got a problem or what ??? she can't be mentally healthy, has some issues w.herself...
    -Unfortunately I understand you too well since I have this type of mother (in my teens she'd say "I am ashamed of going out with you, in case we meet anyone I know", or pointing out every single bit of my flaws "you're too slow, lazy, dependent, shy,'ve got too big hips, too little boobs, crossed eyes, etc...."), got me right to a psychotherapist-
    I guess this is not the first time she puts you down that way ?.....You need to get support from other family members or friends and stand up for yourself and confront her and shut her up. Why is she saying those mean things to you ? She should be supportive whenever....
    we are here for you !
  6. This doesn't sound right, Belini. Knowing so little about you or your family it's hard to interpret, but you need to speak to somebody in person. In the meantime, get a pen and write down all that is good about yourself - and be fair to yourself, don't let her get you down and don't beat up on yourself because of it. Can you speak to your father, or to a close family friend who knows your mother? If there's noone like that around, try a school counsellor on Monday, and since I think today is now Sunday for you, ring a friend to chat about it.
  7. I dont know. Weight is a huge issue in my community. People will comment if u have put on weight. Its horrible. I already am hard on myself because of my weight, i know ive put it on and am depressed but im trying my best. I have bad days but i am trying. She wants to see results in a month, its just not going to happen. She is supportive but i think the last few days ive gone out and not beene ating well and not exercising and with a huge family wedding in February, she is stressing out.
  8. My boyfriend is supportive, well as much as he can be without crossing the line anyway.
  9. Belini I am a mum and I do tell my daughter to eat less (slim down) when she went on an eating spree n put on 10 kgs. But I will never tell her not to go out just because she had put on weight or be embarrassed about her. No matter what, she is still my girl.

    Try telling your mum that it hurts u that she talks this way. Maybe she is just too insensitive to realise she hurts you. Alternatively, you can just ignore her.

    Whatever it is, do your best not to to be hurt by her remarks and do what u need to make yourself feel better.

    As an afterthought - is she trying to provoke you into slimming down? Hmmm....
  10. Maybe Sanity, i just think personally, there are better ways to get me to do things. Thanks for your advice and support.
  11. Belini - since you are already doing your best to slim down, then there is no reason for her to be hard on you. Likewise, you should not be hard on yourself. Slimming down does not happen overnight. It took my daughter few months and lots of determination to get back to her previous weight.

    (Hugs). You need supports, not bricks.
  12. I just seemed to get the short straw with everything. Work, family, friends, personality, self esteem, weight, looks, nothing seems to be working or going right.
    I sometimes wish i wasnt even born. Everyone would be alot happier.
  13. ((Hugs)) I am worried about your last statement. Is there anyone you can talk to? (dad. good friend, etc). I also think that you should find a counselor to talk to about your feelings. Good luck and we are all here if you need us!
  14. Everyone feels this bad at least once in their lives, so don't feel alone. And sometimes bad luck seems to come all at once, so work, family and health issues can all land on you at once. When they do, it can feel overwhelming. But these problems will not be a permanent part of your life, and you will not always feel the way you feel today.
    Take them one by one. First, your mother. Either she is going to act better, or she is going to become relatively unimportant to you: you will stop caring what she says because you don't like her much.
    Friends: This always sorts itself out. Good friends remain in your life, bad friends don't, and it's so won't miss the bad friends. You don't really have to do much - just let the bad friends drift off. They will.
    Work: Figure out what's wrong, and throw yourself into fixing your work life. Work is important, and work can be fixed. Work is something you can control. Figure out what you really, really want to do. Figure out what you need to do next. Change your job? Go into a different kind of work? Do the same thing for more money? Spend a lot of time on this, and soon you will be too busy to notice that you are (justifiably) furious with your mother.
  15. You should think you are beautiful and you are a princess.