My friend talks to me in baby talk ALOT

  1. Hi yall, I have no kids so I hope it is ok to post in here. I have a very good friend. We always have fun, and have a light hearted friendship. In the 2 years we have been friends I have never once asked her to stop doing something nor has she ever told me she doesn't like something about me. We honestly never talk about stressful or negative things. We have a super fun relationship and I love that about her and NEED that type of friend.

    She is 30 and I am 35. She just has her first baby 8 months ago. Quite often she talks to me in baby talk. She has yet to return to work, breast feeds and spends most time with her child. It has never bothered me much. Seems kinda strange at times. But, I love her and I understand.

    However, just recently some very bad things have happened in my life. I called her one night super stressed out but going to ask her a question about something else. She was watching the news when I called and a story came on the nightly news about what was happening to my family right then. She began to repeat what the news casters were saying in baby talk. She then began to ask me, "Who won't recover?" in baby talk. I almost lost it. I told her very quickly that I had to go.

    I am under so much stress. And I don't want to embarrass her. How do you tell someone that I have so much stress in my life I can't handle you talking about it in baby talk. i can't even think of a joky type way to say it. I know she feels very secluded at home with the baby and I just don't want to make her feel more alienated. I thought about sending her an anonymous card. But, thought while that might make it easy for me, it might make it harder for her.

    Any ideas. As a new mom how would you want someone to say this to you. Or should I just keep my mouth shut? It is putting a wedge between us! Help. :crybaby: I love her very much but for my OWN sanity I can't handle it. She senses I am pulling away from her.
     
  2. Oh my gosh!! I don't blame you for hanging up the phone on her. I would be honest with her. If I was being that annoying, I'd want someone to tell me! I can't imagine ever getting like that but someone needs to slap her back into reality, and you're probably not the only one who's bothered by it. I would just flat out tell her, the baby talk is okay when she's talking to the baby, but otherwise no. You like your adult relationship with her. I know this is touchy, and she might get her feelings hurt, but it sounds as if it's already gone too far.
     
  3. Is she dividing her attention between you and the baby while on the phone? Or is she actually having an adult conversation in baby talk? I ask the question b/c many of my friends will not stop talking to their children while they are on the phone with me which drives me UP A WALL! If you don't have time to talk, just say so, we'll talk when the kids are in bed...

    I would suggest asking her out for a lunch date or coffee w/o baby. If she talks in baby talk, that would be the time to address it. You need support and she might need to get out of the house and away from baby for a short amount of time w/o even realizing it...but not having children myself, this is just my suggestion.
     
  4. Next time you call her ask if it's a good time to talk. I would mention that "I could tell you couldn't really talk the other night" If she asks why "well, you were talking to me in baby talk so I figurered you were holding the baby" or something like that? Or, just kid her around and say "I was really stressed when I called. Did you realize you were talking in baby talk?"
     
  5. I don't understand what you mean when you say 'baby talk' here? Is it her tone of voice? I mean if I talked baby talk I'd be saying 'ooo, did ooglewumpus have a ickle baddy bad day, den? Snookums hurt lots? Snookums not get better ever and snookums go bye bye'

    If your talking about a tone of voice only, some moms don't like to change to tone of voice they use if they're trying to get the baby to sleep or feed. Anyhow, it looks like you caught her at a bad time. Next time, do ask beforehand if it's okay to talk.
     
  6. This is exactly how I would handle it.

    BTW- that is soooo annoying!! I don't have kids either so maybe I don't understand. But I did have very traumatic events occur in my life recently and if someone talked to me as if I were a 2 year old I too would go nuts!!
    You poor thing, if my trouble made it to TV (and believe me I was fearful that it would) I would be very upset too. And upset that a friend would treat such a serious situation in such a juvenile fashion. But she's obviously living in baby bubble right now. She may not even realize she's doing it.
    If you can't find a way to say it lightheartedly, wait a bit longer before you talk to her, maybe by then you'll be able to express yourself better.
    Good Luck with Everything!!
     
  7. She is talking about adult things in baby talk. She has talked to me in baby talk while I have been at her house and the kid is asleep.

    That is actually an idea I think I could do. The next time she is talking to me in baby talk I can ask, "Oh are you holding Lindsay? Are you busy?" And when she says No. I can say, "Oh cause you were talking in baby talk and I thought maybe you were trying to soothe her." I am assuming she has no idea she is doing it. I DO understand how it could be hard to flip back and forth between baby and adults.

    It is tone. And I never thought about how maybe she is trying to get the baby to eat or something. She was repeating what the newscaster was saying about our situation like she was saying, "Who has a dirty diaper? Who won't eat their yum yum cereal?" I really do love her and understand. However when I am going through something that has me waking up at 2am throwing up with stress. To have someone repeating the newscaster to you like they are playing with an 8 month old. It just made things worse. and she does it alot. Like I said even when the baby is asleep.

    Thanks for understanding. And I am sorry you had to go through something so stressful. I do realize she is in a "baby bubble". And if this was just normal daily talk I would let it pass b/c I do love her so. But, I have got to spend every minute trying to keep my family going through this. This could be the downfall of everything. That is why I feel it would embarrass her to tell her. It would me. But I feel I have gotten some good advice on here. :heart: And I do love her so - that is why even though we are going through this I am worried about her and me. If things weren't so stressful t might be easier to joke with her and tell her. But since we are on the news .... I think it might embarass her to say, "Hey when my family is on the news or we are discussing this situation could you talk like an adult?"
     
  8. I'm sorry for your stress... I don't know what your situation is but it sounds pretty serious. I think in order to ease your own stress, you will have to seek out a friend who is more available to you... resume your friendship when it's better for both of you.

    I know that first year in a mom's life is one of the hardest things in terms of transition. There could be a number of factors, like postpartum depression, stress, there's really no "free" time to give to others because new moms' energies are all taken up, especially if they are sole caregiver to their newborn. And forget it if their husbands are jealous of the time spent with baby and require just as much attention. I think the baby talk is about all the energy she can muster up right now and it's easier to stay in that gear than to switch over. I remember I just didn't have enough energy the first year or two.