My friend is lying to me

  1. I have a 'friend' (and I'm using that term loosely now) at work who I've caught in many lies lately and it's really, really bothering me.

    We work on a project together and about to go live on our new system in a week. She's supposed to be one of the trainers (but doesn't have the official title so she's very resentful), but it seems like on the days that she's supposed to train or when she has a major deadline to meet, she suddenly has a family emergency. At first I felt bad for her, trying to be as supportive as possible, but then I noticed the pattern of her absences. Three weeks ago she got into an argument with the boss and told me she was calling in sick the next day to avoid having to train. Well sure enough she did; she was out the next two days with an emergency and we had to scramble to cover for her. Earlier this week she suddenly had another emergency an hour before she was supposed to teach a class. When she came back to work the next day, she showed me an email from the boss asking her for a dr's note for her leave of absence next week. When I asked why they need a note, she said she's having surgery. But she just told me beforehand that she was driving to the coast with her bf on vacation. Yesterday she was out again but called to say her surgery has now been cancelled so she'll be in next week.

    The worst part of this all is that this family emergency that she keeps saying has to do with her son. That her son is really sick, collapsing, passing out, turning blue, lungs collapsing, and then finally told us he's been diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis. The problem is that all her stories about him, when they happened, what really happened are just so convuluted (sp?) and unbelievable. It bugs me to think that she's using her son as an excuse to ditch work.

    I know the bosses are on to her now and it's pissing her off. So all she does is ***** about it which I can't listen to anymore. I'm having a hard time being supportive. I don't know if I should call her out on it or just let the bosses deal with her.

    What would you do? Thanks.
     
  2. If the bosses are on to her games now, I would allow them to deal with it. If she persists in *****ing to you, just tell her you really don't want to listen to her nonsense. She obviously has serious problems.
     
  3. My goodness, she is sick, her son is sick?? Sounds like a lot of excuses. It would be awul if she was lying about her son & pretending that he has such a serious condition. I think you know that some of this is lies so chances are it all is. I would leave her to the bosses & have as little contact with her as possible, such a consistent liar could be very dangerous!
     
  4. Oh dear, steer clear. She is toxic. She could be telling the truth about her son, in which case she may be having a hard time with it. Or, she could be lying, in which case she will eventually be found out and fired. All I can say is for you to let the bosses do their job and try to tough it out while all of this goes on.
     
  5. Don't be mean to her, or for that matter even call her out on it, because this woman sounds mental. Just try to ignore her and cut her out little by little.
     
  6. ^ statfan I agree with your post...btw I just did that 'how fake r u " link and I thought it was cute!! (I am 48% fake...too funny!)
     
  7. Cool. It is fun. I also think it's cheeky because we're against fake bags. hehe I'm too addicted to make up. Sorry for the hijack. Hope all goes well.
     
  8. It bothers me to when people use family members as excuses. That's just taking advantage of somebody elses emotions. Theres a girl I used to work with and she called out every monday, with excuses of car accidents and stuff. Then she started calling out the whole month, every week was my mother has cancer and I'm sick and so forth, but why is it that I went to a website for this club and saw her pictures there. Then I went to a club a week later and saw her again!!! She saw us and we saw her, but I think she thought we didn't because she turned her head away when we were walking in her direction. But her friends saw me intentionally walk right behind her and stare at the back of her head. I'm against bringing other family members as an excuse because I feel karma will get me.
     
  9. Horrible. It's all gonna get back to her eventually.
     
  10. :yes:
     
  11. Well said Dallas. Let the boss handle it. It's so wrong to lie about the health of a family member just to get time off work...She will curse herself if any of it turned out to be true.
     
  12. Definitely try not to make waves with her - I would hate to get in the middle, KWIM? I guess be supportive of her - up to a specific point. But I would be wary of her if she started asking me to pick up her slack :O Best of luck with her.
     
  13. It's sad but this post reminds me of a relative. Only she has a different reason for her lies - attention. She once made up having been rushed to the ER for food poisoning only to find out later that all she had was diarrhea and was never at the hospital. She also told me that she had leukemia and needs her son to go be tested for a possible bone marrow match which worried her family to no end. Of course she wasn't sick and therefore no need for her son to make a bone marrow donation but it was quite upsetting for her family to stress over her condition.

    These days when she comes up with a outrageous lies we just ignore her and suggest you do the same with this so called friend. It's sad but the more they keep up with these lies the sooner they are to suffer the same fate as the boy who cried wolf.
     
  14. Oh man...laws of the universe...this will come back and bite her in the butt if she's lying about her son. I believe in Karma.....I'd steer clear of her.
     
  15. there are a lot of people out there who make up stories to get attention on them, get attention off of them, or just for the fun of it. dont confront her. do talk to your boss about it, but dont take it upon yourself to do the dirty work.

    eucalyptic, i am so sorry that your family has to stress over not knowing if a relative is truly ill or not...hopefully things get better