mom guilt - anyone else has this?

  1. ok here's the deal. i'm currently between jobs and so basically stay at home most of the time with my 18 month old. i'm starting to wonder about having all these H bags around when i don't get the chance to show them off other than the odd trip to Starbucks, (and slob around the house the rest of the time). are there any other H owning mothers out there who feel guilty about having nice stuff for themselves stashed away unused?? even if o do go back to work it's likely to be public sector jobs where other co-workers don't earn much and so i'm a bit worried if i turn up with a 5k bag it looks a bit showy???
     
  2. ^^Sometimes I do, but I LOVE ALL MY BAGS all the same, and take them out when I go out with friends or DH. Use them, and think about "COST PER WEAR", and not use them once in a while....

    I always think and feel very HAPPY to have them! Only told DH "ONE BAG"....and now am looking for more:p
     
  3. Sometimes I feel a little unjustified since some of my bags don't get enough use right now as I'm a SAHM with a toddler, but then I think to myself that this is such a short season in our lives considering the grand scheme of things. Our little ones won't be little forever, and our world will expand as they grow giving us more opportunities and places to carry our bags. I anticipate carrying these when I'm old and gray (God willing!), so I don't feel so bad since these bags will grow with me. In the meantime, I definitely use my bags, even if it's on the simple daily errands like Target, Starbucks or the grocery store!
     
  4. The best solution...build a smaller collection of the bags you truly love. Carry them all the time and just enjoy them. That way you will keep a part of who you are and your passion even while being mommy...and you won't have any guilt if you allow your collection to be too large at this stage in your life. Remember, you have a hard job and you deserve some treasures!
     
  5. I am a SAHM of a 5 year old girl. I can tell you that as they get older you will use your bags more and more. I have been home with my DD since birth and I too had some guilt about my nice things I rarely got to use. But More and more I am getting to use my things more often. Just give it time and then you will be soooo happy you held on to your nice things
     
  6. Remember that H bags are an investment-almost like works of art-they're not losing value. Life is too short and hard for too much guilt! Some people spend $100/month on cigarettes, or manicures, or rhinestone-studded sweatsuits. It's relative, and you should enjoy your bags, whether it's to Starbucks or the Plaza!
     
  7. Instead of feeling guilty, look at it this way - you are actually saving money! You bought the bags while you were still working and built up a nice collection. Even if your bags mostly sit dormant while your little one is still little, eventually, you will begin to go out again! If you had waited until then to buy your bags, the price would have increased numerous times above and beyond what you paid. So, the way I look at it, by already having your H collection, you have proven yourself a prudent fiscal manager of your own finances!
     
  8. I'm not a mom, but I don't think you should feel guilty at all.

    Being a SAHM is just as hard and worthy a job as high paying corporate jobs, etc. so consider your Hermes bag(s) your well-deserved rewards for being such a good mother and all the hardwork you do that goes unnoticed by the rest of society. Wear the bag for yourself or admire them at home and know that you fully deserve as much as the next person to have them.
     
  9. I'm not a SAHM (though I am not working now) but I've wondered about this as well. But I agree with Ninja Sue - a wise investment was made and you will be able to reap the rewards when the time is appropriate for years to come.

    Now, if you don't really love the bags you have, then it may be time for some rearranging of things but if they just aren't gettting the most use now - no worries;they will again!

    P.S. If I feel I haven't used certain bags for awhile, I take them out and admire them at home. I smell the leather and dress them up with different cadenas, charms, and twillys. All by myself. Even in my pjs.
     
  10. Agree with all. Couple of things to consider 1)At some point if you got rid of them, you would want to have Hermes bags and you would end up regretting selling them and would spend a lot more to replace them. Give them a rest and they will be ready to re-emerge whenever you want them to 2)I get enjoyment from just looking at them and appreciating them even if they don't always go out with me.
     
  11. I'm a SAHM too yet love to take my H bags whereever I go even if it is Costco or the grocery store. Just using my bags makes me feel good and that is what is important.
    As for eventual co-workers, I would not worry. I find that a lot of people don't know H bags or don't recognize them. If I dress my bags up with scarf/key chain etc, I will get comments on the item of dress-up or someone will say, "hey, I like your bag." And that is fine with me.
     
  12. Rereading your initial message - with a toddler, I would most likely leave the bags for the times when you and DH go out for a bit of R&R.
     
  13. Enjoy your 18-month-old, they are too precious! And don't worry about your bags being in hibernation - they will be able to come out pretty soon. Hang on to them to enjoy later, you'll be glad you have them. And enjoy your little one now!
     
  14. I dont have a child, but I feel the same way sometimes. I'm a relatively busy full time student and only really get to show my bag off at the mall or at school which probably isnt the most appropriate place for it. I don't feel like they are wasted for the most part though, they make me happy and thats all that matters :smile: Besides if they are out less, they have that new feel longer. And while many people prefer the aged look, I love my stuff shiny new :smile:
     
  15. I would only feel guilty if I couldn't afford them. If my family was having financial troubles of any kind, then I wouldn't feel justified having a collection of Hermes or any high end designer bag. But if all is well in your budget than I don't see any reason for guilt. The bags will wait patiently for your child to get older. Like Orchids says, being a mother of little ones is such a fleeting thing in the grand scheme of things. Who knows what will happen after they are in school? These bags are built to be used and last while being used.

    And regarding where we take them, I don't think they are only for "fancy situations". The Hermes style in and of itself is practical and functional to a fault. These bags were made for everyday women's needs and it is only the cache that the press/celebrities has given them which make people take pause before donning them for the day. The leathers are the finest and the craftsmanship is sturdy first. I wouldn't call any Hermes bag delicate per se. So off to Target, Costco and the dry cleaners I go with my Hermes bags. I just refuse to take ANY nice leather item to the beach, hair salon and nail salon. To every other place, my Hermes tags along. And I secretly think the bags LOVE being out!