Married P-fers....How's your relationship w/ your in-laws?

  1. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........:s

    I am married for last 2 and a half years and my relationship with my husband is just perfect. I love him more day by day and it's just better as it goes...........................except his family......

    I just cannot stand them. They are so mean and rude. I try to spellbound myself by saying....they are his parents and I love him so much and so I should love them as much as I love him......and it works a bit until they start driving me nuts.

    For instance, his mom goes through my stuff and his stuff, even our underwear drawers to see if I have organized them well and folded them correctly...........:wtf: ...... Is this normal? Am I over reacting?

    And his dad always braggs about how successful he was with business and then never ever ever ever pays when we go out for meals.......not that I am stingy or anything but maybe once in 10 times, I would like to see him pay. He excuses himself to go to the bathroom or go for a smoke when the bill comes.....

    His sister hates me and makes up stories to his mom....such as I said something mean to her (which I never did....I swear) and then make her mom call me and scream at me.....

    His mom calls me names and stuff......



    And most of all they come down to stay with us without letting us know first, and stay as long as they want......eat as much as they want...........and leave only trash and empty frige behind.


    Am I not being a bigger person? Should I understand what's going on? Am I over reacting?


    What should I do? I think my husband feels sorry but does not say much about the situation and I do not wannt bring it up first 'cause I have a feeling that it's not going to end up pretty.

    H E L P!
     
  2. Fortunately its..........E-X-C-E-L-L-E-N-T!!!
     
  3. you could just keeping living in total chaos, or you could attempt to talk to them and hopefully call attention to the fact they are unwelcome when unexpected?

    now for the bad stuff :graucho: : If you have a guest room, use it as 'storage' until they come next, and then tell THEM to move everything off if they want to sleep there cause you are just 'sooo busy' ;] Also, put a prank in your underwear drawer. seirously. and when your MIL comes to you screaming, just say "oh, thats for if anyone is snooping in my drawer" with one of those 'looks' on your face. hehehe.

    but i believe the draswer thing is total violation, as well as being unwelcome. I also find it rude that they never pay, but they may have 'my kids need to take care of me' syndrome.

    good luck! :yes:
     
  4. Bummer! Sorry to hear about that. Definitely talk to your DH about it before it causes trouble in your relationship!

    I'm lucky, as my MIL is an absolute gem! We get along so well together! I love it when she comes to visit!
     
  5. Keep a lock on your closet and your husband's closet she will get the message.
    THink about the father not paying as payment when your husband was young and taking care of your husband.

    I think the real problem is the mother in law. You might have to confront her. It's terrible but if you get the point across she may leave you alone.
    Tell them you are busy next time they drop by unannounced, or have one of those masks on your face when you answer the door and say "Its a bad time right now!". For them leaving their trash all around...there is no excuse for it. And the empty fridge.... you may just refuse to stock it so they get the point that you didn't invite them over.
    I'm sorry you have to go through this. Those in laws are just mean, unacceptable!
     
  6. I am very blessed in that department. I have been their daughter since Mr Puff first presented me to them, long before we were married, even before we ever lived together.

    I love the prank in the drawer idea. I'd recommend the timeless elegance of the spring snake. Be sure to get one that is foam padded so it won't hurt their eyes when it leaps out.
     
  7. ^^That's brilliant! But, if she has a heart condition, you can leave a note addressed to her in the drawer.
     
  8. LOL, my MIL is a snoop too, I'm going to try putting a prank in the drawer....just have to think of a good prank, hmmm
     
  9. Or you could just put a few vibrators and a tube of lube in your drawers! Maybe throw in some handcuffs as well! LOL Sorry I just had too. I was thinking about what my MIL would find if she went through my drawers!?! :wtf: :roflmfao: :roflmfao: AGH I could never put up with that.

    I have a great relationship with my in-laws, excepts for one SIL but even her parents don't like her so it works out! LOL We have had a few issues but it's really been minor things. Bascially just figuring each other out!
     
  10. You're not alone. My MIL doesn't like me and it is obvious but we're pretty civil to one another. FIL and I get along wonderfully. SILs are another story. They hate me with a passion. They are really mean to me when they do acknowledge me and when they're not being mean they totally ignore me. I could care less because I choose to simply never be near them but the saddest thing is that they pretend like my daughter is not alive while they spoil the other nieces and nephews as well as my stepson rotten. They didn't buy my daughter an Xmas present for her 1st Xmas and they didn't show up to her 1st Bday party which was rather ridiculous because 375 other people did. In addition they are great pals with my husband's ex wife and call her etc. The funniest thing about that is that they hated her with a passion until I cam around. Oh well....
     
  11. my MIL is the only in-law that shoots my blood pressure through the roof. This is horrible but I told my husband that she better hope to gosh that her mind/body stays kickin for a good minute because I cannot wait to throw her in a senior home.
     
  12. I actually haven't seen my in-laws for 5 years now and for me it was the right decision to break up any contact to them.
    For 10 years they treated me like dirt and when we moved 600 miles away and they were here to visit and did their usual thing (treating me really nasty, disrespecting our house rules) I finally had it and told them to bugger off and leave me alone.
    Me dh was on my side as his mum was giving him a hard time about me from the first day.
    He broke up any contact to them for more than 2 years and still then he saw them twice and writes an email about 2-3 times a year because this is as much contact he wants to have with them.
    I don't regret my decision and I'm serious when I say that there's nothing that could change my mind about them.
    They hurt me to much and I feel much better without them and dh is happy about the situation like it is, too as we'releft in peace.
    I can't give you any advice other what I did in my situation but I feel with you.
     
  13. My in-laws for the most part are wonderful & very generous. We have our ups and downs. I can't compare any of my stories to ones already shared, but I try to stay FAR away when those irritating times pop up.
     
  14. I really fear having bad in-laws...the nightmare stories are just so frequent!
     
  15. thanks to all who posted replies...there are the lucky ones who have great in laws, and I realized that I am not alone, there are some with horrible ones just like me.

    My MIL hated me from the first day too. She came down to our place without any notice as always at 3AM on our first day of return from our honeymoon and gave me a lecture for an hour that I stole her son from her and I am a B_ _ _ H. I was in tears and my DH screamed at her to stop, but the thing is she survived brest cancer about 6 years ago (she's so healthy and fine now), so he does not wanna be too harsh on her, which I understand.

    And also, all you P-fers here must love buying purses and so do I. The sad thing is I have to hide them deep in the closet, 'cause when she finds out that I bought some pricy purses (even though we both work and make good money and it's our money.........and we do savings as well and all.......), she went crazy and said that I am a witch that eat her son alive.....:crybaby:

    After reading all your replies, I think I am going to talk to my DH and his mom honestly and tell them how I really feel. I don't think I can put up with this any more.

    I will let you guys know how I did. Thanks all!