Ladies, I need you advice...

  1. I was wondering if any of your boyfriends or husbands keep pictures/notes etc. from their ex's??

    If so, how do you feel about it? I feel a little uncomfortable with mine keeping stuff since they're still very good friends and talk often. I know he loves me but it's just my insecurities! Help! What should I do? I kind of brought it up, but he pointed out that I have things from my past relationships too (I plan to leave them at my parents house when I move out, but he is taking them with him to his new place!)

    I just don't know if I'm being unreasonable or just plain jealous. I hate being jealous. :cry:
     
  2. We both tossed all that stuff...I even gave away all the jewelry to friends and family.
     
  3. Although that isn't something I've gone through, I'm the one who has a box of cards (b-day, valentine's, anniversary's, ect.) from ex-boyfriends also some pictures that I couldn't get rid of (I liked how I looked in them) and many of my ex-boyfriends are still friends of mine. I have no feelings other than friendship towards them. I don't think you should worry at all. Some people need a reminder of what we've been through to get to where we are today happy with our current relationship. He wouldn't be with you if he didn't love you.
     
  4. i have a box of stuff from my ex's but i put it away in my closet and i haven't looked at it in years. i've been with my bf for 3.5 years so there isn't a reason for me to go look anymore... i'm not friends with any of my ex's, but my bf is friends with some of his. it bothers me for a few minutes, but not really enough for me to get jealous because i just figure they are jealous of me since he is with me, right?

    don't let it bother u too much unless he's spending a considerable amount of time with them, instead of you.
     
  5. Don't let it bother you unless he spends undue amounts of time looking at them.

    I too have pictures of exes (still friends with most of them) still on display around but it isn't because I'm regretting not being with them anymore, it's more because they're pictures of good times.
     
  6. Boyfriend is one thing, but if he's your husband...ooohh noo! He has got to get rid of EVERYTHING!! If he wants to keep them for memories, he's going to have to start memorizing the pictures and notes and throw them ALL out! It has nothing to do with jealousy, he needs to start this relationship with a clean slate and move on with no reminders of old girlfriends (past mistakes), good times, etc to dwell on.
     
  7. I agree that notes and cards probably have to go but pictures?

    I'm probably in the minority here but I don't think that you have to come into a marriage with no "luggage". That would mean leaving behind everything you are and how you came to be that way. I certainly wouldn't marry the person who asked me to destroy and forget about my past.
    Relationships are in for even rockier times when you force someone to get rid of their past. One day they'll wake up and resent you for that.

    There's a big difference between living in the past and having a past. You can be in a relationship and have a past (good or bad) without it being a threat to what you have with your "SO".

    However, it isn't out of line to ask that he puts everything AWAY somewhere out of sight. That would be the decent thing to do on both parts. If it's truly unimportant, then he'll probably end up throwing most of it out anyways.
     
  8. I think it's weird that he wants to bring them to your new place. Why not each put all the old relationship stuff in a box, and both leave it at your parent's house? You could buy him one of those nice photo boxes to store the stuff in. This way he knows where it is, and can get at it if he wants.

    More important- ask him why it's so important to him to have stuff from prior relationships close at hand? I don't think it's weird to keep that stuff, but I'd want to know why he would need to get at it in a moment's notice.