Just in case you needed a laugh today

  1. UPS Airlines



    Just in case you need a laugh:

    Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

    After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
    *
    P: Something loose in cockpit
    S: Something tightened in cockpit
    *
    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.
    *
    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
    descent
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
    *
    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.
    *
    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.
    *
    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what friction locks are for.
    *
    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
    *
    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.
    *
    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
    *

    P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
    *
    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
    *
    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.
    *
    And the best one for last
    *
    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.

    :lol::lol::lol::lol:
     
  2. funny, but a little concerning...hope those guys are just joking around
     
  3. These were funny! Thanks for posting
     
  4. :roflmfao:... rough day at work, I needed a good laugh. Thanks!
     
  5. rofl, those were pretty funny! Makes me wonder if those really are real though ;)
     
  6. :lol::lol::lol::lol:
    i love this joke!
    my SO flys so i am gonna share it with him later!
     
  7. Ahaha....funny. But I really hope that these people have a freally, really good sense of humour, because I do fly fairly often.
     
  8. LOl too funny!!!!
     
  9. Hilarious! :roflmfao:
     
  10. Lmao!
     
  11. My husband is a pilot. I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying!! Thanks
     
  12. I LOVE IT! That was fantastic...:roflmfao:
     
  13. fantastic!

    Thanks for posting
     
  14. Hilarious!

    I needed the laugh today - thanks for posting!!