I've got a pretty uncomfortable romance situation. I need a lil help.

  1. I dated this guy, well call him JM, for 3 months last year, during the summer. :heart: But then he decided that when school started back he needed to end it. Needless to say I about died. :crybaby: But anyway, it took me a pretty long while to get him out of my system and then I found myself falling in love :heart: with my pastors son, at our church. Now, the thing with both of these guys is that I've known them both since the beginning of my time. :yes: And I developed his huge crush on this son of a preacher man, Isaac, when he was 16 and I was 11, when he preached his first sermon (he's a preacher too.).

    Anyway, what I'm getting at is today, well yesterday, at church, they were both there for the first time. Together. Same room. Made me VERY UNCOMFORTABLE! :s Anyway...being around JM again made me start to think about all the time we spent together and it made me start to think about the moments when I realized I loved them both.

    My point is....Isaac is the one I want, plain and simple, I love him more than anything in this life, but I've still got feelings for JM somewhere inside me...and I don't know what to do about it. I was standing outside with JM, by his car after church and standing next to him, talking to all my buddies felt really normal, and then I stopped and thought about how it felt when I stood next to Isaac. Let me put it this way, I feel not exactly smothered, but a little fenced in with JM, but with Isaac I feel open, completely myself....I'm just having conflicting feelings is all and I needed someone to share my little problem with.

    Thanx.....
    Missy
     
  2. It sounds like you still have some unresolved things with your feelings for JM, but 3 months is not a long time to feel like it is love forever. IYour feelings for JM can be something "what if" we were still together, ect......
    You sound like Issac lets you feel completely yourself and that in its own is worth thinking about.
     
  3. I would say don't start anything with Isaac yet until you don't have any more of those feelings with JM. It just wouldn't be fair to him in case that you can't get over JM down the road/
     
  4. I agree with gilliana... you have to do some thinking and figure out if you're still attached because of "what if syndrome". Trust me... I've been there before and it's UGLY!!! But then again.. I had it a bit easier than you b/c I wasn't with someone and still having these feelings so it was less confusing and complicated...

    Hope you figure this one out! Sometimes all it takes is time! Wish you the best!
     

  5. I totally agree with this statement. Put yourself in their shoes you would not want to be seeing someone and yet they have another person on there mind that just not fair to either of them or to yourself.
     
  6. What exactly are the good points about JM? I think the fact that he left you emotionally devistated should outweigh almost any of them! Don't forget that he left you before and will probably again! If Isaac is a nice, stable guy and you're looking for a loving relationship, don't blow this opportunity on a fleeting crush. Unfortunately, we all have to learn love lessons the hard way...
     
  7. Again I agree with gillianna, its important to be with someone you feel completely free with. someone who you can be yourself with....

    having feelings for JM is natural and with time you will feel better...
     
  8. I once was in this situation before. In fact, I still might be. At times, I think about all the 'what ifs' with this ex bf when I currently have a perfectly nice bf who loves me. Whenever i meet the ex bf, I feel all confused and think that I might still have feelings for the ex bf. But I think we should be with that someone whom we can feel comfortable and all with. :smile: good luck!
     
  9. The "what if's" kill me.

    I don't know what to do. I wrote some stories a while ago and JM got his hands on them last night and now he knows everything abouth how I feel about him and Isaac....so I guess I just have to sit around and wait for one of them to say something to me.....


    Oh boy.
     
  10. Oh boy is right, you got yourself in a pickle now:nuts: I say just give yourself sometime to sort your feelings out. I've been in your situation before and it is nervewracking. I was straight up confused. Even if you have to take a piece of paper and list the pros and cons of each guy. And remember you and JM did break up for a reason. You might be missing out on a great guy (Isaac) because of "whatif" feelings for your ex. The fact that you say you can be yourself around Isaac speaks volumes. That would be a big plus in my book. :shrugs:
     
  11. Time is what you need girl. From the looks of it, you seem better with Issac at the moment but that doesn't mean that you need to rush things, right? Take it slow and steady.