Is my boyfriend an A-hole?

  1. So I'm so embarassed right now to even call my friends. :crybaby:
    I paid for my boyfriends airline ticket and my parents paid for our rooms in Vegas at the Belliago for this Wed-Sat. This was for his graduation present present from Dental school. This would have been our 1st trip together by ourselves. I was so excited to go!!! oh and he moved back home which is 3 hours from me 2 weeks ago. We have been dating for 1.5 years and I would do anything for him. :tender:

    He calls me TODAY and we leave WED to tell me that he has to cancel our trip b/c he can take his final state test to become a dentist this Friday in LA and just found out. otherwise the next test is not till Sept.

    Well I totally got upset

    I feel I have every right to. I have been looking forward to this for over a month. He is not good at planning things and I feel like if this test was so important why was he just working scheduling it only a few weeks ago? oh and also he has been gone visiting friends back east for the past 2 weeks, so not like he was doing anything then but partying.

    Am i so wrong to be upset??? He told me I was being selfish! How when my parents and I were treating him to a vacation and it was planned over a month ago????

    So I am now going with my mom. Foget him right? We will go shopping.

    I didn't even get a " sorry baby I know how much you were looking forward to this" NO I get a " why are you being so pissy and selfish?!!!!"
    What an A-hole right?

    Oh and this is not the 1st time I have been pushed aside for his other priorities. Sorry I'm too upset to correct my spelling

    Oh and he won't answer my calls either right now.

    Thanks all for letting me rant. Big Huggs!!!!!
     
  2. Well I'm sorry he cancelled, but this is his career. He wouldn't have been able to take the test for almost 2 months. I'm pretty sure without that test he wouldn't be able to practice dentistry.

    Trust me, I would be bummed (more than that, I would be ready to tear up some walls if he cancelled 2 days before), but he has to do what he has to do to hopefully support us in the future.

    If he was really apologetic, don't get down, it will happen later. If he acted like a b- then I would be erasing him period.
     
  3. Well, be glad you didn't marry him! Obviously he is pretty frivilous about taking his state boards if he doesn't know when they are and he is a poor planner. He sounds immature, but there are two sides to every story.
    It seems unusual not to know when your board exam is, but I am just licensed in physical therapy. Maybe he is smart enough to get away without studying, but when I took my boards back in the day my whole life revolved around taking my test.
    I can't tell you what to do, but I would definitely detach yourself from him for a little while, take a step back, and take care of your life and your priorities. He will come back if he is ready to settle down, if not well then you have some decisions to make.
     
  4. He is in the right here, sorry I know that hurts but this is more important than a trip. Put yourself in his shoes, he is probably upset at you not understanding that is why he hasn't called.
     
  5. Thank you.

    I know it his his career, but I have been pushed aside so many times for school and I get nothing in return, no thanks, nothing! and I never asked.
    I get broken up with everytime we have a disagreement. That is how he deals with things. I don't see why he couldn't fly from Vegas on Friday to LA to take the test. The cost of the flight would be the same as from SF to LA. But NO. He doesn't want to do that.

    Well I know my mom and I will have fun shopping. Stay tune for a new bag thread. or a new Hermes bracelet.
     
  6. A-hole. No. Regaurdless of his previous partying over the past few weeks you have to understand this is his career. This test is way more important than a hoop-lah in Vegas for a couple of days. Vegas will always be there. I may sound harsh but, sounds like you really need to lay low and let him do what he has worked so hard for, for such a long time. Dental school isnt a joke.
     
  7. Ummm...sorry, but certification tests like this are scheduled way in advance. He should have told you way sooner.
     
  8. He should have planned better! Inexcusable that you went out of your way to give him this wonderful graduation present only for him to sh*t all over it with his incompetent planning! I am fuming for you. I hope he buys you something pretty in L.A. to make up for this.

    But listen, have a great time with your mom. You two will have so much fun!
     
  9. I gotta agree with most everyone on here. If you have any plans on marrying this guy, better get used to the high pressure of his career. This isn't like taking a drivers exam. The medical profession takes alot of time and dedication. There are going to be conferences and symposiums, etc in his future. Things are always gonna pop up at the last minute (ie;, emergencies). Either you share his passion for his work, which is going to mean alot of compromise on your part - or its not going to work out for you two. I don't know the guy so I cannot comment on his inability to show any kind of sympathy toward your attitude - maybe he's just very focused right now and a little distracted? Be glad he's serious about his career and not out flipping burgers somewhere.
     
  10. I think he should be able to take his test.. when its still fresh.. BUT.. he should jump through hoops to reschedule the plan to vegas callling the hotel explaining to them.. going from wed to thurs??? something to make it better.. or paying for the same trip another time.. at least offer. Its in whats said and how its done.. im sure you arent selfish.. its just how they need to say it!!! boys.. tell him that your going to vegas to have fun... maybe w/some gals(dont tel him MOM :smile:).. "what happens in vegas stays in vegas" and he should be worried. If not.. then i'd think about the relationship and if this is the first time:idea:
     
  11. That is a classic manipulation, as you probably already know. He is testing you to see if he still has all the power in your relationship. If you keep letting him get away with that, then he will keep doing it and treating you badly.
     
  12. Let's be clear, never let anyone push you aside and you change your life around for someone on who doesn't have time for you. You do what you need to do and let them do what they need to do. If he wants to be with you he'll put up the effort. This is a 50/50 relationship. Never feel like you are pulling all the weight because that's NOT a relationship.
     
  13. Probably time to move on from this. He has entered into a high profile career and is ALREADY an egomaniac. :rolleyes: Maybe I'm just an old broad, but men who have control issues like this are a big red flag for me.

    Also, did it cross your mind that maybe he knew he had this exam all along and just really did not want to go on this trip? In any event, you deserve better so maybe this is the Universe's way of telling you it's time to find someone new.
     
  14. amen. yes, I do also think he should make an effort to makeup the trip to you. its not all one sided. just wanted to state the reality of being a potential life partner of someone in that field.
     
  15. Thank you cookie!!!!!! That is just how I feel. There was no sorry, nothing!!!! If he would have acted like it mattered to him then I don't think I would feel like this. but no. nothing!!! just, "bad news" whatever!!!! I'm so done with him. I mean who wants to move form San Francisco to Arnold, where everyone has no teeth and is on wellfare! yuck!
    Arnold, that is where he is buying his pratice! yuck! Not even a Target there to shop!
    oh and I am not HM