Invite the In-laws?

  1. My In-laws hate me, they have gone out of their way to be mean to me in the past so much so that DH and I have stayed away from pretty much all family gatherings. We went to his cousins Christmas Party last year to see if they would have a better attitude and of course same old, same old so now were back to not attending again.

    We bought our first home back in the winter and are planning a housewarming for next month, do you think its wrong if I don't send his sisters invites but invite his cousins who havent caused us any problems?

    I really don't want them around smiling in my face being phony when really they aren't happy for us and only coming to see what we have in our house.

    What would you ladies do, send invites to all? Or go with your gutt and keep the troublemakers away?
     
  2. Have you consulted with your husband about this? I would tread carefully if I were you. Depending on how your husband's family is (and he would know best), this could create serious drama.
     
  3. Send invites to all. Don't allow yourself to drop to their level. Just because they don't know how to act doesn't mean you don't.
     

  4. This is the attitude I have maintained and to be honest i'm really just sick of them, and want to keep myself away from any negativity all together.
     

  5. He's not going to care either way, he too is sick of them. I'm really not concerned about any potential "drama" just like when they do and say things they don't care.
     
  6. I went through the same thing with a relative of DH's. I have to force a big smile through clenched teeth anytime she is around, but I refuse to show her a reaction. She always tries to provoke me, but I just give her a compliment. That pisses her off and she finds something else to do.
     
  7. Hmmmm i understand the "don't stoop to their level" idea... and on one hand i believe in it, but on the other hand, at some point when you've had enough of their BS, you just need to draw a line and say you're not going to invite trouble and grief for yourself....

    SO i say if you have the energy to be gracious and nice and put up with their nonsense. sure invite the in laws. if you're tired and sick of putting up with them, don't invite them. actually i'd probably ask your DH what's his preference cos it's his family after all and go with what he prefers....

    good luck and congrats on the new house!! :drinkup:
     
  8. hmmm this is tough...i say invite them and just ignore them let your DH deal with them. It is a housewarming so you'll have your own friends and family to entertain and keep you occupied
     
  9. Life is too short to EVER be unhappy. My husband's father is horrible and has never been nice to me in the entire 9yrs we've been together. His mom warmed up to me once we got pregnant. They didn't come to our wedding. EFF 'EM! If they're that bad, he'd understand why you don't want them around. I'd only deal with those people if I have to (like at someone else's family gathering) but you can control whether or not you see them at your own shindig!Congrats on the new crib!The bottom line: Do what you need to do to be happy...you deserve happiness.
     
  10. Sorry if my previous post came out harshly. I just have strong feelings about mean people.
     

  11. No worries, I know how you feel I feel the same :heart:
     

  12. This is what I was thinking, if they do come I can just say hello and keep it moving
     
  13. You sound like me, whenever they say or do something to try to upset me I just :smile: and it really pisses them off! I want to invite his mom although she's not totally innocent either but I respect her because she is his mom. I just have a feeling if I invite her she won't come alone :rolleyes:
     

  14. Thank you! I'm sure they will be nice and phony they never act up when my family is around, and my family will be there. Funny thing is with all that has gone on I have never told my mom or grandmom about all the nasty comments and rude behavior because I know they will confront them and it won't be pretty. Recently it all came out and both my mom and grandmom know. My mother is now going to be looking for signs of disrespect just so she can call them on it, she's crazy like that and moreso she just does not appreciate them being so nasty to me especially since my family has done nothing but embrace my DH since day 1, regardless of what they like and dislike they don't butt in.
     
  15. sorry, i can't stand my inlaws...my opinion is clouded

    i'd offer a last minute invitation, and hope they aren't able to attend