Hi OP, I've fostered cats from time to time. They've all been different in terms of how my cat acts towards them and vice versa. I think that may be a reason for the conflicting advice from everyone--why you may need to use more than one strategy and be very patient with each one. I've also heard that you can buy artificial pheromones. I've never tried this myself, but a good friend swears it works like a charm.